5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Feel So Bad About Being Rejected

1. This person doesn't see your value

Imagine someone who never tells you that they appreciate you. Would you desperately try to make that person be your friend? No, you probably wouldn't. Same goes for a romantic relationship. This person hasn't acknowledged your inner beauty. Being with that person wouldn't make you happy, so f**k them.

2. There's more to life than finding "the one"

We all get taught from a really young age that romantic love is incredibly important (through parents, movies, books, you know the drill) but it's not the truth. There's so much to do and accomplish in life and there's no shame in doing that without a significant other (even if society/your family/friends/colleagues are telling you otherwise).

Plus....

3. You're.not.alone.

No, you're not going to end "forever alone", yes, there are people who love you. Your friends? Your family? Your pet? They love you. And they don't make you feel bad about it. Unlike that person you're desperately trying to get to love you.

But...

4. Being alone is cool too

Don't feel like there is someone who loves you right now? Time to become your own love interest! Go out on a date with yourself, discover your own personality, do what makes you happy! You might even make friends during the process. (Believe me I've been there.)

5. There's plenty of fish in the sea

By far the most clich├ęd one but it still applies. Just start observing people: there are so many different kinds of people out there and they all found someone, despite whatever way they may look like or how they behave. It would be so extremely odd that there is someone for everyone except you. Out of all those people on planet earth.

In conclusion, if you're currently sitting in your room and are sobbing your eyes out over someone: there's so much to see and do in your life, seize that opportunity. Life is short and you don't want to spend it running after people who don't care.


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What Guys Said 15

  • 1mo

    I know "life goes on" can be a difficult concept to grasp after a rejection, but it seems like people are even less capable of grasping it than they ever have been before.

    Chalk it up to plummeting self-esteem levels and the general disintegration of the individual.

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  • 1mo

    I have an overwhelming desire to wish for a ton of bad things to happen to you

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  • 1mo

    Have you ever been in a romantic relationship in anyway?

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    • 1mo

      Yes, I was. I had a girlfriend I was very in love with and she realized after a year, that being with a girl wasn't her thing after all and she left me.
      Apart from that I've been rejected many times, these are the things that helped me get over it and I wanted to share them.

    • 1mo

      Ahh sorry to hear that. She should have known if she was bi/lesbian before starting a committed relationship with a girl.

  • 1mo

    Lots of food for thought in there - Maybe rejection is wrong word, I would go for something like they didn't feel it - It was never going to work unless both sides felt it - Yeah I agree just keep going, you never know what or who is around the corner and even if you do stay single there is a lot of good aspects of that too.

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  • 1mo

    Rejection isn't a big deal, it's being led on that is. I guess being led on is still rejection but just drawn out.

    Rejection saves you time and you know that you didn't have a shot whether you tried or not. Being led on messes with your feelings and your head thinking the person is into you when they aren't or they're just on the rebound and don't know what they want. It's a shitty feeling to have someone make you feel special only to be tossed out like garbage as if nothing happened. You feel like an idiot when it's over too.

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  • 1mo

    The last time I rejected a girl was because I didn't have any time for her.

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  • 1mo

    You should feel horrible. It means that the other person found you totally disgusting. You simply weren't good enough, and the person totally misread the situation. Now go out there and get people's hopes up and reject them as well so that you can spread how it feels to get rejected! Through pain comes understanding!

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  • 1mo

    Regarding 1) and 5), this is assuming you will meet other fish who see your value and who you would actually want to be with as well. That is by no means guaranteed. Of course there's still 2), 3) and 4) I guess.

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  • 1mo

    Why I don't feel bad about being rejected:
    1 - It has happened 100% of the times so far, at this point is just white noise.

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  • 1mo

    why the fuck all the drama? Wouldn't be better to invest this energy in writing a scientific paper?

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  • 1mo

    The problem with this. Everyone single purpose in life is to procreate (even f they don't want to right now). For woman rejection is easy to say that just move on because:

    1. You guys always have many dicks being offered to you for relationship
    2. Validation that you are attractive.

    For most women rejection comes about when they overshoot too high above their station. For men it can happen if they decided to go at any range: above, at their level or even lower.

    Now girls aren't open about male attraction. You hardly ever see a girl like a guy's pic or even tell a guy he is hot unless he's bordering or is model tier. So many men literally have no u IDEA they are even attractive. And if you get rejected too many tiems as a man you start questioning if something is wrong with you.

    Another problem is the way many woman go about rejecting which often INVOLVES LYING. Such as:

    1. I have a boyfriend
    2. I am gay
    3. I'm busy and can't go and date you right now
    4. Calling the guy a creep when it is not warranted (which really messes up with men mentally)
    5. Playing with the guy's emotion and stringing him along when you know your not really interested.
    6. Stop talking to them or lower contact and keep them at arms length.

    If women were more honest as a gender and said they weren't interested straight away many men would be fine withe rejection. Would it hurt? yes. However, majority of y'all do some combination of the above resulting in men getting angry not because of rejection but the lying and/or passive aggressive behavior many of you want to add with the rejection.

    Rejection sucks but all my response is saying is. Let's not pretend and take advice from women on rejection when they as a gender have upper handed greatly in dating/sex/love. Also let's not pretend there are plenty of fish in the sea for dating when it comes to men. Your average male has a greatly reduced dating pool and can very well end up alone.

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    • 1mo

      Incredibly said.

    • 1mo

      Listen, I don't want to make your opinion invalid but women get rejected too, for similar reasons men get rejected. Attractiveness level, personality, habits etc. It happens, no matter your gender or sexuality.
      Plus, I don't think most women just want someone for sex and validation for their attractiveness. If you feel that way, maybe you've been trying to date the wrong kind of women?

  • 1mo

    While being well intended, there are some things I have to profoundly disagree with you about.

    1. It may very well be that this person *DOES* see your value, they're just not attracted to your value, or at least your particular brand of value. I've rejected plenty of women whose value I could plainly see, but I simply wasn't attracted to them. Although saying "fuck 'em" might be therapeutic, I'd hold off on doing it because the person could very well be a good person.

    2. Incorrect. Profoundly incorrect. Now I agree that we must get on with our lives. Yes, there's so much to explore, do, and enjoy. Believe me, I have explored, done, and enjoyed many things. That being said, the single greatest adventure and enjoyable thing in my life was the love of my life. The overwhelming majority of humans feel a deep need and drive to pair bond and be intimate with other humans. Humans who don't, tend to suffer shorter life spans and fight depression.

    It's not society, it's biology. When Cook traveled to the far side of the globe, he encountered many different cultures: Micronesian, Melanesian, Aboriginal, Polynesian, Tlingit, Kamchatkan, and others. These were cultures in many ways *very* different from his own. Wanna know what he found common to all of them? Marriage and pair bonding (and religion, but that's a separate issue). That's right. Without exception, ALL of these cultures had marriage, love, and pair bonding (though the details differed). Hell, chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans form pair bonds. You can't claim it's society, or porn, or romcoms, or peer pressure. It's human evolution.

    Furthermore, unfortunately I have been witnessed first hand the long term effects of loneliness and sexlessness. It ain't pretty, and that's the best I can say about it. I'm not talking a dry spell, I'm talking decades and entire lifetimes. I have a friend with FAS whois two years younger than I. Never been kissed, never had sex. I've had to watch helplessly as he's become increasingly depressed. Another friend of mine, one who I have had to reject (and yes, I did see her value ), has been alone for decades. She fights depression and periodically talks about killing herself. My brother, who himself has CP, has known many other disabled people with various disfigurements. Many went to their (early) graves as virgins. They were often sad, anguished, fighting off suicide. One confessed she would rather find love THAN BE ABLE TO WALK.

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    • 1mo

      If they had never seen a single pixel of porn, never watched a second of a romcom, never had anyone pressure them in any way, and be raised IN ANY SOCIETY ON PLANET EARTH THROUGHOUT HISTORY (and even pre-history) I am as convinced as I am the sun rising (generally) in the east that these people would feel more or less the same. Why? It's not society. It's not family or peer pressure, it's not romcoms or porn. IT'S TWO MILLION YEARS OF HUMAN EVOLUTION.

      To say otherwise is not only untrue, it's irresponsible.

      3. We largely agree. A word or two about pets though. Pets are wonderful. I mean that sincerely. I have a cat and she is sweet and wonderful. But pets aren't, nor *should they be* a substitute for humans. It is precisely because their love is unconditional that makes them poor replacements for human love, to say nothing of the fact they can't provide us with intimacy. Your dog or cat loves you? Well, I'm sure that's good for you, but it tells me nothing about your humanity.

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    • 1mo

      Great observation. So then why are women bailing out of marriage at record levels?

    • 1mo

      Every single guy should have a pet. I'm widowed and I have no intention of ever remarrying. I'll take my two cats over one bossy middle aged self glorified feminist any day. Many of today's women are toxic. Not under my roof...

  • 1mo

    I wish that I had not been so upset about rejection when I was young.
    Until I was about 30, I could almost not get a date.
    The girls wanted the criminal/sociopathic/scumbag/edgy bad boys. I was not from the mould, so I was of little to no interest.
    It upset me quite a bit, at the time.
    For younger males who are not aware of it, I should point out that after the age of 30, usually between the ages of 35 yo 40, the power dynamic in the human mating dance changes.
    Women go from holding 51 of the cards when they are young, to holding just one card while the man has the other 51.
    If you are still single when you reach that age, you may go through the experience of women making moves on you and sometimes propositioning you straight up.
    When that happens, you might remember every girl who called you a loser and a freak, simply because you asked her out; or said 'yes' to a date, but when you went to pick her up you found some bad boy balls deep in her; or who competed with her friends in a nightclub to find out who could deliver the nasties rejection and/or put-down line to any male who approached one of the group; or who ended a date early so that she could go home and fuck her bad boy of the week; or who used you for free dinners and outings, while she fucked a bad boy, or three, on the side.
    As those memories come flooding back, it is easy for those faces to cycle through as overlays on the face of the post-wall former nightclub party princess who is trying to chat you up.

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    • 1mo

      you sound so bitter. only bitter men say shit like this. jesus

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    • 1mo

      @castratedwhiteguy "after that, the more money you make the more guys you'll repel. That's the cruel twist of feminism."

      This part is ridiculous. Men aren't repelled by a woman making more money than them. However, woman are enslaved to their hypergamous nature and refuse to date men who make less than them. This causes woman to limit her dating pool to men who make equal to or more than her.

      As a woman progresses through her career she should be making more money. However, as she goes up her dating options become narrower in what she will seriously go for as she will want a man who makes equal to or more than her. The problem with this is that many men who make this will not go for the older woman and instead date younger causing her options to be few and far between.

      A perfect example of this was a NY Indian doctor who was making 6 figures a year. She complain of her lack of dating option and men her age (late 20's) going for younger woman instead of her.

    • 1mo

      @BubbleBoy69 What you've said here is basically true. And maybe guys your age would have no issues with getting into a relationship with a high income women. However, some of us would never get involved with a women who earns more than we do. That would make him Mr. Mom. A kept man. A boy toy. Well, thanks but no thanks. She can keep her money and we'll keep my dignity. That's what I meant when I used the word "repelled".

  • 1mo

    All I ever wanted was a relationship and no one has ever given me a chance to have one. I feel really bad about who i am because of it.

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  • 1mo

    I can never understand why people feel bad after being rejected by someone who doesn't want them.

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    • 1mo

      People are afraid of the fact of realizing that no one wants them. People want to be liked, if you're constantly being rejected, they may think no one/not many people like them. That's what upsets them.

What Girls Said 5

  • 6d

    good share*

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  • 1mo

    This is just what I needed. I've just been rejected by a man I love very much. We were together a year. Everything you've said is so right. It's made me think

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  • 1mo

    I have a significant other now but my problem is finding a connection with other people as just friends

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  • 1mo

    The last time I rejected someone, I stopped liking guys all together. There's this guy who apparently likes me, and I want to like him but it's just not working. But he's a great friend and I appreciate him.
    Off topic, I know.

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  • 1mo

    I've never really been upset over being rejected. If they don't want me, that's alright. I mean, the feelings of attraction must be mutual to have true happiness in a relationship.

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