Top 10 Rules To Dating Online: For Women Looking For A Husband !

In today’s times online dating has become a source to meeting great people that you may normally never have the opportunity to walk into in your lifetime. It is a good resource, however it has changed the way we date. We have had etiquette for dating for years however no one has discussed how these rules translate in the online dating world.

Based on my own compilation of my findings from male and female online daters that I have had the opportunity to interview, below are some rules that can not only help you decipher the online dating etiquette but more importantly can also keep you safe ! Keep in mind that these rules are for women who are seeking a serious relationship however, some rules can apply for all women to stay safe.

Rule #10 – Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

Most dating sites have the option to select requirements such as age, sex, religion, etc. I implore you to utilize these options for requirements that are of great importance to you. I do suggest that you only use this feature for mandatory deal breaking requirements and not for superficial or physical descriptions as those areas you may be surprised at what your future husband may look like and you do not want to rely solely on the descriptive perception of someone else.

For example, football players can describe themselves as muscular OR stocky, if you excluded stocky from your search you may be excluding someone who is actually fit and healthy if that is of importance to you.

Rule #9 – NEVER put full body photos in your profile.
"You want to make sure that your profile is read and that men chose you because they think you are a great match. "


There are several men who will hate this rule, however, this rule is for a reason. Attraction is extremely important but when looking for a long term mate it is more important for them to connect to you because of who you are. This is one of the areas that online dating can have an advantage. You want to make sure that your profile is read and that men chose you because they think you are a great match. Leave it to your head shot for them to gauge basic attraction. Providing a full body photo may distract someone from choosing you for the right reasons.


Believe me, I understand that you want someone to find you attractive but you do not want it to be the ONLY reason that they chose to contact you. Of course, there is no issue with exchanging full body photos after contact has been made (hopefully it is not the first thing that he request) but initially you want to make sure that he is interested for the right reasons.

Rule #8 – Read the profile BEFORE you look at the photo.

This is a very tough rule to follow as women as well as men want to be physically attracted to their partner. However, you will find that both women and men have physical biases that you may not know that you have. Some women are attracted to basketball player physiques and may disqualify someone like a football player on the stocky side. Women also disqualify the fact that some men are attractive and become more attractive based on how much you have in common to make you disregard superficial description.

For example, though you may want someone with blue eyes, you may read a profile that makes you smile, laugh and intrigued and then look at the picture and find out he has green eyes…totally something you could accept.

Rule #7 – Don’t make emotional decisions.

Just because your profiles both say that you like unicorns and Pepsi does not mean that you are a perfect match. A match is deeper is than superficial looks and interest. When looking for a long-term partner, you need to make sure that what you have in common is just the basis for discussion. Don’t read this profile and start making wedding plans as you still do not know his personality and how his personality works with yours.

Rule #6 – Have a telephone conversation for more than a week before your first date.

Because of the movies and television people feel like true love has to be spontaneous or instant and that is not always the case. It is best to have a conversation with someone on the phone before meeting them in person. There are certain things that you can already pick up in these conversations that could save you a lot of heart ache and time. You can find out things as simple as this persons work schedule which you may not already agree with if they work long hours and don’t have much time for you, patterns of how often they call you, the things they say, the way they talk, finding out additional information about who they are and what they do on a daily basis.

It’s funny to me that people take more care in interviewing someone for a job than they do for someone to enter their lives. I actually suggest that you have a telephone conversation for at least two weeks but I know that this is tough to do for everyone. In addition, you have given him the opportunity to see what you are like on a daily basis and chose to walk away if he does not like what he hears. Now I know women don’t like this but the truth is we have to stop acting desperate.
"Stop being afraid for a man to walk away if he doesn’t like who you are."

When I was dating, it never mattered to me if I stopped talking to a man or a man stopped talking to me…for whatever reason we didn’t work and it didn’t matter to me who saw it first. Stop being afraid for a man to walk away if he doesn’t like who you are. You are not just looking for a body to lay next to you at night. There is no feeling like having a man that wants to be there because you are special.

Rule #5 – Never have your date meet you at your home.

This is a safety rule. Though it is quite charming to have a man pick you up at your house and whisk you away it is also dangerous. Unfortunately these are different times and you need to avoid this at all cost. You don’t know who is on the other side of that screen and/or what you are getting yourself into. It is easy to give out information like your phone number and address however it is extremely tough to get it back.

Rule #4 – Always inform someone of your date and communicate any important information about your date to someone.

It is very important that any date you go on with someone from online that you provide ALL of the information that you know to someone else. Prior to the date let someone know where you are going and everything that you know about him. Once you have arrived if possible text/email the license plate of the vehicle that your date arrived in, etc. Just be smart.

Rule #3 – Always meet in a crowded place.

I think this is pretty self explanatory. Never take a chance with your safety. Never park directly next to your date in a parking lot. If possible park as close to the front of the establishment as possible.

Rule #2 – Date in phases.

This is a lost art of dating. I don’t understand why women excuse certain behaviors and hope that they go away or get better when they just met someone.
  • If you don’t like something about him on the website then move on and do not give him your phone number.
  • If you don’t like something about him that occurred over the phone then why continue and go out on a date in person.
  • If you don’t like something that occurred on your first date that is not superficial but something that is a deal breaker to you, then move on and don’t go on a second date.
  • If there are no sparks when he kisses you then what makes you think that if he is the one and you get married that the sexual relationship will be better.

Do not feel desperate and feel as if just because he wants to move to the next level, though your intuition or instinct are telling you that something is not going to work continue on because someone wants you.
Gogus olculeri

Rule #1 – Don’t give up your number in the first conversation.

Giving up your number in the first conversation online is the equivalent to having sex on the first date. Remember that you are online and you do not know who you are dealing with on the other end of that computer. In some instances, your phone number could be just as important as your social security number. There’s tons of information that can be gathered from a phone number. It’s easy to give out a phone number but it’s not easy to wish you could take it back.

In addition, men take into consideration that anything that you are willing to do with them you would also do with other men. With that in mind some men may not take you seriously if they think that you give any and everyone your number freely. Get to know someone online the best you can before providing them with your information.

Keep in mind that there will be quite a few men that chose to walk away because they don’t see the point in waiting but just like if you met them in person and they didn’t want to wait until you are ready to have a sexual relationship, these are the men that you need to let walk away. You provide your information when you feel comfortable and a worthwhile long term mate who may not necessarily agree with you will still respect your wishes and wait until you are comfortable.

If he doesn’t respect your choices now on something as simple as a phone number he won’t respect your comfort meter on bigger issues.


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What Guys Said 11

  • Women who only post head shots of themselves shouldn't do online dating. The road blocks you talk about are the ones you, as women, put up because of your own insecurities. A real man wants a confident woman by his side. I do understand the "Hey babe, you look hot" Average Joe comments, a confident woman takes it in her stride and deletes it. My girlfriend is very good-looking, but it was her smile and intelligence that drew me. TheCristian, you need to realize that Jay-Man is no Average Joe.

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  • I didn't go for my girlfriend just based on looks. That's objectifying the woman and I'm completely against that. In fact, it's actually an insult to both the woman and yourself. I wanted something real + she wanted something real = (shock horror!) SOMETHING REAL. The women who don't post at least one photo of their full selves is a scared little girl. Guys who objectify women aren't men, they're just little boys.

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  • Guys like me? And how are guys like me?

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  • We believe that you're hiding something if you don't put up full pictures. But then again, women are the same, men being "part of the catalogue" ;)

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  • I met my current girlfriend online, too. On Match. We lost touch due to problems with my computer which lasted a year, she dated someone else and broke up with him. We found each other again after I sorted out my computer. I liked her before (I'm pretty sure should could achieve world peace just with her smile), we've been given a 2nd chance and I couldn't be happier being so in love with someone so special. I take her smile everywhere I go, and it's even more cute when she's laughing.

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  • 5,4,3 are just one thing. one is absurd. Girls are so finicky, to suggest they find one little reason to not go out its retarded.

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  • Is this how you first met your husband?

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  • If a girls profile pic makes her look like an 8, but in fact she is obese and therefore a 4. Two things are going to happen: (1) all of the guys who think they are getting an 8 are going to ditch when they find out she is obese AND (2) guys who might have messaged her, had she put real pics up might decide not to message her because in their mind, "they are not good enough for her." There is a guy for every girl, might as well not hinder, his search.

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  • I agree with @misuzi. #9 is wrong. IMO putting just a face pic is akin to putting putting just face and body pics with no profile information. Once I messaged a girl on dating site, she had just a few face pics, and she appeared cute. We talked a bit, and set up a date. I got there and she was obese. A girl can have the best personality in the world but I I don't want to f*** her, I won't date her. Had she posted body pics, she could have save both of us from a awkward situation.

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  • Rule 9 is wrong. Of course looks are secondary, but they are the first thing we notice about anyone and they are very important to men. Enough men will overlook you if they can't tell what you're body looks like. A hint of extra weight is no big deal, but if a man is fooled into contacting a significantly overweight women, he'll feel slighted and find an excuse to scuttle the situation.

    Instead, "Dress how you want to be perceived". Bikini and club photos for dates, casual pics for relationship

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  • I think this was very well written. But rules often complicate things. You should do what you feel comfortable doing. Have a good time and get to know the other person. You can't plan your whole future after a single date. You can't say how it will go from there, but it starts there. Have a good time and you will eventually find someone who you feel comfortable with and who likes you.

    It is hard to get to know someone over the internet, so give guys you find interesting a chance!

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What Girls Said 15

  • Like I said.wish what you stated was doable but its not.I think you have more faith in your fellow man.it sounds like you have "you're a good guy" syndrome. You seem to be a good guy so apparently it seems you can't even imagine what other men do. Its not as simple as you seem to think it is and it has nothing to do with insecurities.My points to women are to assist in weeding through the Mr. Wrongs

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  • @jay-man...I wish you luck but unfortunately you're a bit out of touch. My friends and I when we were single had full body shots online. We all took them down one by one within a month. I was the first and my friend who is really into wanting a man that looks a certain way felt the way you did and she was the last to take hers down.If men respectively said "hey baby you look hot" I wouldn't have an issue. Instead what I received was tons of disgusting messages and took forever to sort through.So

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  • You are on a computer and you don't have the same ability to judge if he's only looking at your body parts as you would easily be able to see in person. I think if you thought about things from a womans point of view instead of your own you may understand some of the road blocks we face. As you stated men that objectify are not men but on the computer how does a woman know which man that is. So like is aid my rules don't prevent everything they are just meant to help to assist for signs

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  • @jay-man...very easy to say as a man but as a woman who lives it every day I get objectified all the time. If there is no issue then why is a head shot and a profile not good enough at first if her body is not a factor. The truth is that men are visual creatures and if you are trying to tell me that there are not men who hold body as a high priority so as a woman how do you propose that we decipher between those men? What I propose is just one step to possibly help deter someone like that.

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  • @jayman...guys who think that if a woman doesn't post a picture that something must be wrong with her lol when you never think about the opposite, that some women just want something real based on a connection and personality and not just initially looks.

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  • @jayman...correction...I meant "DON'T want to be arm candy" in my first post. Ttyl

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  • So yes we are hiding something but not what you think and guys like you would just skip over us online and honestly I preferred it lol. Then I would laugh at the ones that tried to guilt me into a picture saying that I must not pretty lol and I'd say that must be it so you should move on lol. One of my friemds is a model and she doesn't put up body pics either. I think men have the wrong idea about online dating and its funny to me. I just let those men think what they want so they move on lol

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  • @jay-man...not really.women are willing to read the profile. Believe me I'm not writing these articles because I'm new lol. I'm actually providing that rule for the oppossite reason. ALL my friends and I have guys walk up to us just based on what they see. Its refreshing to know that the men I didn't from online and ultimately the one I married contacted me because of the things I said and not because of what I look like, its an advantage to online dating for women who do want to be arm candy.

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  • @aww how sweet. I didn't like match lol. I made the mistake of putting up full body pictures lol. No one read my profile lol. I got a bunch of weird nasty emails and messages and then guys are wondering why women should continue to put up body pics so you can be a part of the catalog where they log in and look at the pretty pictures lol. Never received any serious candidates on match. I felt more comfortable on EHarmony cause I knew any guy that paid those prices is most likely serious lol

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  • @tractor...thanks for reading. Truly appreciate it you reading and leaving your comments. To each its own. 5,4 and 3 are specific different safety rules. A female could go on a date and meet in a crowded place but then park right next to the vehicle of their date. Again you just met this person online and though you take all precautions before meeting someone you still never know. Safety concerns are different for women. Thanks again for reading

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  • @jay-man...hi there. Yes I met my husband on EHarmony. Great experience. And its funny because he was right where I used to hang out but we just never met. You never know where you'll meet that special person :)

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  • @stewardent...apparently neither of you read the whole thing lol. I stated that there is no harm in exchanging body pics once a connection is made BEFORE going out on a date. My point is that you should not have a body pic attached to your initial profile so that men who say they are looking for something serious use the site like a catalog and look at all the pretty picture lol. Most women, who are looking for a serious relationship, want someone that felt a connection to their personality also

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  • If a body picture is exchanged once contact is made that's fine. My point is, let the men who are only looking at body pictures move on if you want to increase the chance to find someone serious. Looks fade. So there needs to be something about her personality through her words to make you interested. As we both know there are men that would endure things they don't like just for a hot girl lol and for women looking for marriage you don't want a man that may weigh personality vs looks.

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  • @misusing...thanks for reading and thanks for comment. I understand your point. You have to keep in mind that you are coming from a male point of view. I actually wrote this rule more for females who have great bodies. It is difficult to walk around and have men approach you based solely on what they see. Online there is an advantage to being able to have someone read about you first with a head shot and choose to want to know more based on who you are and not because he just thinks your hot.now

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  • @jesoer...hi there thanks for reading and for the comment. I am married. Though it sounds great to not have any rules and live life by following the direction of the wind. That doesn't always work out for women. For one its dangerous.men don't have to think about the dangers like women do. second most women naturally want to progress relationships faster. The suggestions above are to help women slow things down and think rationally instead of making wedding plans lol.thanks again

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