I've been dating a guy for nearly a year and since day one the ball has been in his court. I've *never* had trouble with men - and certainly never had to chase one, or bent over backwards, but this guy has caused me no small amount of angst. I love him, but I never have the upperhand or feel special. He tells me he loves me, tells me he plans to marry me, but nearly every time that we've had a problem - most caused by him (like lying, for example, like when he was talking to several of his exes, even exchanging gifts with an ex-fiance, and saying NOTHING to me). I was devastated when I found out, especially after I had been scrupulously honest with him and letting him know if the whole ONE boyfriend I had before him was calling, while he's going behind my back talking to her. He told me she meant nothing, that once it was over, it was over, but ... exchanging gifts? I have been so good to him, in many respects losing something I have never lost before, my self-respect, as I am the one who seems to go after him - and he already has a HUGE ego, telling me frequently in the beginning how all his exes always want him back. What kills me is that I never feel secure or on an even-footing at the very least. I've always felt - and been shown a few times when he's gone and signed back up on a dating site within a week of our breaking up - that I was easily replaced. He has told me he has an angry, nasty streak, and he has told me he's stubborn, but HOW DO I GET WHAT I NEED FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP? Is my only option just to call it quits so I can regain my self-respect? I feel like, in so many ways, I've made a fool of myself with this guy. I KNOW we would have been over by now if I hadn't reached out for him so many times. I feel like I have no worth and that this is his relationship M. O. I found a little treasure chest with old cards and photos with the ex-fiancee in it. I've also found cards from other girls in the past, and I just feel like the "girl of the moment". So tell me, what do I do? Is there anyway to get to the heart of this guy? He doesn't talk much, so I often feel I don't know him. And how can you say you love me and be on a dating site in a week? And what's with keeping the old cards and stuff? Is there ANYTHING that will get this guy to show how he feels? When I'm quiet, he's quiet. When I'm angry and need him to fight with me - even to just show he givea a d**n - he shuts off completely. There is just no winning. Any advice / insight would be great.
Most Helpful Girl
Well since I have dated a Taurus man let me tell you this... they are stubborn, they do keep in touch with all their ex'es unless they have cheated on them, they really are to be treated with kid gloves.
If I was you I would carefully consider other options. If you already have voiced your concerns to him and he hasn't made an attempt to improve then why endure more of this BS. Taurus men take a long time to make up their mind on anything so if you bring up a new subject you want to talk to him about then expect him to take a while to get back to you with the real honest answer. You need to see actions happening after that too ... If he's not listening to you and attempting to change then forget him you'll be much better in the end. You'll have your sanity at least.