Where to draw the line between girlfriend's guy friends?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. It's recently been bothering me how close my girlfriend and her one guy friend is and it's hard to distinguish between being too controlling or if I'm just letting her walk over me. First off, I would like to say that me and my girlfriend dated almost 7 years ago and rekindled. So we have a kind of bond that doesn't really come and go. She told me that her guy friend has been friends with her for 7 years as well. I'm a bit skeptical of this whole situation and I've made a post about this before here on gag but I feel I wasn't broad enough on the questions I asked nor was I clear enough on the details. After about a few months of dating her I had never heard of this guy friend, up until the playoffs with the Steelers this year when she went over with family to his house. After that it's like she instantly became best friends with him again; I don't know if she lost contact or something but they definitely weren't texting or anything before that. Since then I've heard his name come up quite often, they recently just started following each other on facebook and twitter which made me question if they really had been friends for that long but I ultimately decided to trust her. I have no idea how much they text because she deletes text messages. But I do know that they facetime every day I've seen the facetime duration up to 2 hours long on some calls. They snapchat everyday, and I see his name pop up on her social media almost every day as well. I've been asking her to meet him since the day I found out about him but I haven't met him yet it has been a few months. She said they used to hang out almost every day before we even started talking again. But communication must have stopped when we started talking or something. I'm wondering where do I draw the line? I mean I am trying to be understanding but I can't help but be bothered by this. Is this normal?

I would like to add that I love my girlfriend, I trust her very much so. It's just I'm curious to see other people's takes on my situation. I'm trying to be as understanding as possible in this situation but I find it very difficult at times because I feel he is asking too much of her time. It also makes me feel like I'm not satisfying her needs enough and that she has to look elsewhere for them in a platonic way. I don't know really what to make of all of it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This whole things seems sketchy to me. You have a few options,
    A) confront her. I don't think she will be honest though.
    B) Try to sneak and see if you can dig up some damning evidence. You run the Erick of getting caught. But does it matter? You have to decide.
    C) practice the policy of keep you friends close but your enemies closer. Invite him to a social situation. Make friends with him. Then observe him closely. YOU MUST KEEP YOUR COOL THOUGH! Otherwise you lose!
    If she or he doesn't want to appear where all three maybe present, that is a red flag.
    That just about covers it. Good luck

    • This is a nice course of action, but what I'm questioning is where I draw the line. How much is too much?

    • Confront her him.. Let her know that you don't feel comfortable with all the... ( you fill in the blank).
      There is not how much is too much. This is about you not her

Most Helpful Guy

  • Lol... Arr you a man or a pussy?
    You're girlfriend is jerking u around and your going along with it like a doormat...
    Listen.. i have been in your situation..
    The best way to judge a woman's level of interest is to see how she acts when both the guys are present... i mean she can be all nice to u and all but who she is giving priority thats something to think about.
    The worst u can do in this situation is to have a freak out and confront her,
    Be all cool and ask. Her to go to movie and invite that dude too... see how she acts..
    Is she holding hands with u infront of him, is she affectionate to u? See all those things..
    If she does these things infront of him.. Your fine.. she is yours..
    Even if she fucks that guy behind ur back she is still yours, u don't have to worry about anything.
    But if she hesitate to be affectionate with u infront of him.. then u know bro ur done..,
    She is a devious person who will cheat on u always... Dump her and move on.

    • I asked her to meet him again tonight. She said "Why do you want to meet him so badly". I asked her if I would have to remind her about it and she said I would have to remind her.

    • Never hear what a woman says, always see what a woman does.
      See what she does when both of unare together, be a detective and be ready for the worst, ie, a break up coz i personally feel that guy is your replacement.

What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • why don't you talk this over with your girlfriend? also, it doesn't sound like that big of a deal to me. if there was a thing, i'd expect it to be a little more discrete

  • If she's close to him and there's nothing going on then I'd think she'd love for you to meet her good friend... The fact that you asked to meet him months ago and she isn't pulling through with it makes it sketchy..

    • I asked her to meet him again tonight. She said "Why do you want to meet him so badly". I asked her if I would have to remind her about it and she said I would have to remind her.

  • You need to talk to her about how you feel about the situation. I know from experience that sitting by and thinking that things will work themselves out doesn't work