Can one okay date ruin all the other great dates?

So you've been a fantastic, intelligent date with loads of things to say. You've established that you've got a glittering personality and you're vibing just great with your partner, what happens if you're not your usual awesome self on one date? This is what has happened with me..on the last date, I completely clamped up and didn't have much to say, basically I was no fun at all. So in order to puncture the awkwardness in the air, I started making pointless small talk and actually said some pretty stupid stuff that's totally uncharacteristic of me.

We've been on at least 5 dates before and I know he digs me cause he keeps wanting to see me, now I'm afraid I've ruined my chances after the last date when I was just no fun at all?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The kind of "not being my awesome self" you are referring too is OK, I can handle that. We have much lower standards as guys in this regard. Unlike women, we don't exactly expect our partners to be our form of entertainment. We don't expect you to be the most entertaining person on the planet all the time, otherwise we'll get bored. It usually about the intangibles that draw us to a girl. Is she genuine, have good morals, smart, loyal, mature, down to earth, etc. Not whether or not she funny or something.

    Now the one thing that can send a guy running to the hills is if you show to a date and act like you got into a fight with your best friend and your dog just died all in the same day. In other words, being emotional, a bitch, or being dramatic is really bad. Guys don't like girls who are full of drama and always being way to emotional. If we take you on a date and you have an attitude the entire time its a huge turn off. I know girls that when they have a bad day, they become a total bitch and a emotional mess, to the point of me not even wanting to be around them. Don't be like that.

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What Guys Said 9

  • You've only ruined your chances if he doesn't agree to any future dates. People can have off days and if you're going to have one, you at least got lucky in the sense that it wasn't a first date. Are the two of you still in touch? If so, that's a good sign. Take the initiative and contact him and set up a date. You be creative and take some of the pressure off him, then he'll be more likely to say "yes" even if you were awkward the last date. Make amends by showing him that you don't expect him to carry all the load. Try this and I have a hunch it will work.

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  • Well not to me. Then again, I've sat in a car with a couple people who could only talk about cars, talk sh*t, or other wise. Girl wise.. it depends on what it was she said.. like if it was just something stupid that didn't involve ex's or something, I wouldn't care, I'd let it go.. I'm a very easy going person. I don't worry about the details, I pay attention to them, however unless it is lying or something, I won't mention it. If we had, I wouldn't of cared what it was that you said, as long as it wasn't a lie,or something of that nature to me. Nothing that would jeopardize my trust in you. I wouldn't even worry about 'if you were fun', I'd be more interested in knowing you, if being silly/fun is apart of your personality, of course, but if you're not normally like that, than no don't be.. I like people who are straight forward,honest etc. If someone told me, like a friend of mine did not long ago, that I was the last person he contacted, and he only hung out because he was bored. I wasn't bothered by it,it wasn't serious,its trivial. Now if it was something like "I slept with your gf" then we'd have problems. It seems to hard for people to get that about me, it's almost like be isolated from society lol. I think if he walked out on you because of one date, when you've been on 5, would be stupid. 1) people make mistakes all the time, and say stupid sh*t more than half the time. 2) That would be an investment he walked away from, which to me is foolish. If he does, well whatever, it's his decision.

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  • What are we talking about here? Was it just dull, or did you act all mean and insulting? Maybe you ran out of things to say?

    If the five were great, would hope I'd be understanding enough to realize we all have bad days every now and then. No one can be their "usual awesomeness" 100% of the time. I really wouldn't sweat it from what you told me.

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  • Hey girl! Relax. If you were marginal looking and he was a complete player, maybe but you're hot hot hot so he'll get over it. Just BREATHE.

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  • nope.. cause a "great date" is a date where you start to really like someone, not based on them being nervous and trying to impress you.

    you seem to be misunderstanding that fundamental concept..

    if you really enjoy someones company then your gonna be relaxed and say whatever you want to. it wasn't a "great date" if you were trying to say " the right things" and seem cool.

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  • I'd say the odds of that being a deal breaker are pretty slim.

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  • Nobody can talk a lot all the time.

    A good date is more about enjoying the time you have together rather than having an intellectual conversation marathon.

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  • We all have OFF days...dont worry about it and just have fun next date!

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  • If the date is OK, that's hardly a reason to ruin the other ones.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Can one okay date ruin all the other great dates?

    It can for some people and I'm one of them.

    established that you've got a glittering personality and you're vibing just great with your partner, what happens if you're not your usual awesome self on one date?

    Depends on the person as they could see it as no big deal or see it as a sign of things dwindling down and getting less worthwhile.

    Now I'm afraid I've ruined my chances after the last date when I was just no fun at all?

    Most likely it'll be okay as it seems guys have a pretty low standard for dating so as long as you were pretty and pleasant.

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