Why won't he put a title on our relationship?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating a guy for a few months. We both act like we are in a relatioship he says he is only seeing me. He is quite possessive. And yet he doesn't want to be in a relationship? I dont get why he can't put a title on it when he knows its what I want.

[ZEDA_X]

I think 'seeing' means he doesn't want to commit. i dont think the it matters. if he said ok im in a relationship with you, meanwhile he's thinking- but if something better coms up im out- what good does the title to do. it matters more how he behaves and what he says he wants... and of course whether you can trust him. a lot of people can feel really good in the moment and thats fin for them. they see no ned to make a aim out of it. you my just have different desires here.

dont bother him with titles. just ask him if he wants to 'see' other people as well. if not then i guess you'll just have to et him be and if he decides he doesn't want a title you can leave or accept it.

if he wants to also see others, than you can decide if this is something ou ar not interested in. if so you leave.

you guys my want different things. doesn't mean either of you is wrong. the only wrong here is guessing instead of just talking it out.

[Asker]

he says we are exclusive. but i don't really think that helps either knowing the truth. some people just don't want you to be with someone else but they want to be able too. so its really hard to tell.

[ZEDA_X]

i see. you're right. well how does he behave? other than not wanting a title. do you feel as if you guys are in a relationship?

i understand he's possessive of you, but how is he abpt himself in relation to others. i man dos he hold himself to the same standards he holds you to?

[Paris13]

I find with many of today's guys that that they are sporadic, unpredictable, and yes----non committal. And if pushed too far, they grow these Cold duck feet and waddle back into the murky waters faster than a cat in heat.
Although you have tom at the level of "Exclusive," sweetie, being "Official" would be the next best thing, and if you are patient and silent, as the golden rule states, he will come around when he is good and ready. This is a first stepping stone for him, and he wants to do things on his own, In his Own sweet time, and doesn't want any help from you in getting to First Place.
Congrats to You that you have reached this plateau, and come this far, sweetie. Sometimes it's hard to reach. But if You try to slap a label on Anything at this point in time, you may have to start from the beginning of the line, and that would be----"Finish Line". xx

[Asker]

yes it is really annoying. it is like they want their cake and to eat it too and so many women are letting them have it these days. its hard to compete because if you become to demanding you are seen as needy and there are plenty of women who lack boundaries and will let their man get away with a lot so its hard to compete with that.

[Paris13]

Yes, sweetie, but the thing is to cok their goose and make them find you at the top of the tree, which is hardest for them to reach, and the most challenging.. I find that they love the game, the chase, but it does take work on our part.. xx

[Popnlock]

Lol women always want a title, first they want the girlfriend title then after a few years they will ask "where is this relationship going?" Then ask for the wife title lol

If he's only "seeing" you does that mean he's with other girls as well? U should ask him if he's only seeing you depending on his answer you should keep your options open if he can't commit...

[ZEDA_X]

I dont. Don't assume. its annoying to people that your assumptions dont apply to. it also makes you unnecessarily biased and ignorant.

[Popnlock]

Lol I'm speaking about most women, just because u fall into the 1% that claim they don't want a title or label doesn't mean I'm "wrong" or "ignorant" because I'm 100% sure if your in a relationship with a guy for a couple years and he doesn't call you his girlfriend your going to ask him what's up? and like most women you will want to claim a title or threaten to leave... by the way your telling me not to assume but your making assumptions on my opinion so by your standards you sound ignorant

[Asker]

i think women just in general want a title because it makes them feel comfortable like you are proud of them and shouting to the world you are theirs. however, i know a lot of guys who want a title too so it works both ways. we have talked about it he says we are exclusive. however, i just have to take his word on it. there is no proof of exclusitivity i have not met his frieds yet. he may just want me not being with other people and yet he is keeping his options open. i dont really know how to tell?

[BoundByCuriosity]

generally speaking if someone isn't cool with putting a label on it, what they are doing is keeping their options open.

[ZEDA_X]

Not necessarily. They may just want to keep things clear, not 'stereotyped'. Because of all the assumptions about what every little thing 'means', It can it make things complicated to rely on title rather than just discussing what it is you want.

Well personally i dont like titles, and not because I can not like one person exclusively, or want to dick around.

[Asker]

Zeda you do have a point. but people like you are rare so i think what people are saying is its most likely not what you are saying but you do have a valid point. Boundbycuriosity i tend to agree with that. i mean its the same as me really if i wasn't sure about a guy i would try and delay the title. if i wanted him and i knew it i would want a title straight away. he says he is exclusively dating me. however, i just have to take his word on it. i haven't met his friends yet, i have no proof its exclusive. he may just want me to not be with other people while he decides what he wants. i don't know how to tell? i have been pressuing him a bit lately hinting MAJORLY i want more committment he says things like "i feel you are prematurely forcing me to make a decision" we have been going out for a few months its not that premature. and considering he wants me to act like we are in one.. and sometimes he snaps at me being like "I've only known you a couple of months"

[BoundByCuriosity]

girlfriend/boyfriend aren't exactly life changing titles. they bring a certain amount of comfort know that being together means something. its not like youve taken a blood oath, its just a formal way of say i like you, i want to be with you, i want you to be mine.

i dont get how it complicates things unless you are unsure you want to be with that person?

[Anonymous]

If you aren't his girlfriend it sounds to me like you are friends with benefits