When a woman becomes a traditional SAHM, it's generally already been established that she doesn't need to work, because she'll be doing the majority of the childcare. However, that kind of option would never work for me in a million years. I think it's too risky, and that it doesn't make any sense at all, especially with the kind of world we live in today.
The only two options I could see myself doing, would being either a WAHM or a only working certain shifts, so that my husband and I could do 50/50 of the childcare eact...I thought those were pretty common scenarios, but apparently a lot of people haven't heard of it before (My Question On SAHMs and Income That No One Bothered To Fully Read)
So I'll give a short and simple list of my reasons below, but this NY Times article sums up my POV very well: NY Times Article On Moms Working Night Shift
So here's my list!:
I Need To Have As Much Flexibility In Finances and Income As Possible!
Even if my husband were a wonderful man and great with children, I would never want to rely on only a single income. What if my husband ever got seriously ill/injured, or just simply laid off, and unable to work for several months or even longer? We would be looking at potentially being on welfare, and at the bare minimum losing any savings we'd built up...IF we even managed to pay all of the bills. While all of that was happening, it would be difficult for me to find any work due to not having a solid work history...I would never want to risk my family or our finances, not when I could've prevented an emergency situation, or at least helped my husband to have extra income to fall back on. (SAHM With Husband Who Lost His Job)
An Abusive Husband Would Have All Of The Control, and I Wouldn't Even Have A Work History To Fall Back On!
What if I picked the wrong man, and over the years realized he was abusive? I wouldn't have any work history to fall back on, and divorce can be extremely complicated by itself, let alone adding on the fact that I'd have a sketchy work history and no immediate income. (Poor SAHM With Terrible Husband)
Fathers Should Be More Involved, So Why Shouldn't They Help With Childcare As Much As Possible?
So....WHY does no one ever mention SAHDads?! Or even just fathers helping out more? Being a traditional SAHM will never be an option for me...and that also includes letting my husband not help out. I would fully expect my husband to be as procient with childcare as I am. Whether we were both working different shifts, or I was a WAHM it wouldn't ever be acceptable to me for my husband to not know how to take care of his own children! Also, I would expect him to take care of his own self too; he also HAS to know how to cook, wash dishes, and do laundry and take care of his own needs. I wouldn't marry or be with a man who essentially acted like a young child that I would have to take care of as soon as he got home.
On That Note...
Kids Aren't Toddlers Forever, They Can Take Care of Themselves and Do Chores Very Early On
Also, I don't see any reason for why the children wouldn't be able to take care of themselves as soon as they hit double digits, as long as they didn't have medical issues to deal with. When my brother and I hit that age, we did EVERYTHING for ourselves, and our parents' only responsibilities were to take care of themselves and make dinner, either occasionally or on holidays. So if I ever have kids, I'd expect the same from them, or even doing some things at earlier ages (Young Kids Can Be VERY Independent)
The Option I Like Most, Hard But Efficient: Working Night Shift, and A SAHM By Day!
Out of all of the options I listed at the beginning, I really like the changing/odd shifts one, which is probably the most common option in real life anyway. If I had my choice, I would choose to work a night shift, and then stay at home with the kids during the day. I would like that one the most, because then I wouldn't have to worry about the kids being safe at night and my husband could have a regular day job, so our options would always stay very flexible.
Also, I would primarily choose to work a night shift, because I really love the idea of Unschooling (a very relaxed form of homeschooling), and so I could homeschool the kids in the daytime/afternoon, as many women do (PT Working Night Shift RNs Who Also Homeschool Their Kids)
Question: So after reading this #myTake, would you still choose to be a traditional SAHM despite the risks? For me, I can't fathom it ever being an option, or putting my family at risk for essentially no reason.
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