I feel insecure because of my sister :(

[Anonymous]

I don't feel good enough or pretty enough because of my sister. She's extremely beautiful and whenever our family friends come over, they gush over how pretty she is. I never get compliments from them and because of that, I feel like I'm not good enough. My sister is the whole package and now she's engaged. I on the other hand feel like I'll never be engaged and that nobody will ever love me :(

Updates

+1 y

I feel like part of my insecurity is because I can't really be who I am with me having a sister who is perfect. My mom always compares me with her and whenever my sister gets a new job or a new style my mom expects me to be like her. It's like I can't be my own person like I'm living under her shadow :( I want to move away but I feel like this reason would be a ridicelous reason to move away once school finishes

[EmeraldSky]

Don't ever feel envious of another woman.

Womanhood is a very complex, deep journey that can easily be glamourized from the surface. But in actual reality, some of the most beautiful women can make some of the most spiritually compromising decisions. Some of the most stunning women can have some of the worse luck. Some of the women who appear to be the most put together can have some of the most unsatisfying psyches. You cannot look at another woman from the surface and decide that the sum of her parts *mind, body, and soul* is worth more than yours. That would be inaccurate and unfair to you and all the inactive potential inside of you.

Being engaged is not the best thing ever in life lol Need I remind you that most marriages fail?

People grow apart, they change, they discover unattractive, undesirable parts of their significant other that never showed before. They experience life altering events that entirely shift the dynamic of their relationships. Marriage does not make any relationship immune to any of those facts. In fact, marriage can just add so much more weight onto those facts. Even if she was perfect, her fiance could die tomorrow and then what would her life be? She could find out she can't have children? She could be diagnosed with cancer. Life knows no bias.

So, take a deep breath. Take a moment to recognize all of your blessings and the beautiful things that make unique. And don't ever forget that anyone who experiences the human condition is incapable of being perfect.

[Anonymous]

First of all, I'm really sorry that you have such inconsiderate family member :/ I mean, even if you weren't as pretty in their eyes as your sister, they should know better than to ignore one sibling and gush over the other one? they should know how this would hurt you.

Whether they find her more attractive or not, YOU have to learn to love yourself and stop comparing yourself to her.. you are you.. you're not her. I know it can be hard because they aren't giving you the affirmation they give her, but YOU ARE just as good and you don't need them to tell you so. They should know better than to be so inconsiderate and down right mean, so their opinions wouldn't hold much stock in my book.

[Asker]

It's not my family, it's my family friends.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh I see.. Well what I said still holds true.. the family friends should know better and sound like terrible people who don't consider other peoples feelings and how much it would hurt one sibling if you only praised the other sibling.. It's not rocket science and they are just rude in my opinion.. Don't count on getting your self esteem from others :/ You have to love yourself and realize that not everyone is going to find you attractive but that's not reason to feel insecure, my dear :)

[Opinion Owner]

It's always a mistake to compare yourself to others.. it's a waste of energy.

Put your thoughts into being the best version of yourself .. for yourself.. not for the praise of others.

Everyone is beautiful in their own right and I'm sure you're more beautiful than you give yourself credit for.

[Grizzly5]

Well, men certainly like good looks, but keep in mind that a healthy body and a pleasant attitude will make up for that. Work on developing your positive attributes. For example, my brother is physically very small and somewhat reserved, but he can get VERY high paying jobs because he is extremely intelligent and holds advanced science degrees, and does research at a very prestigious university. He won't get the best and prettiest girl out there because he is not physically impressive and not very social, but he has a great chance at a great girl because he developed his advantages. I'm very physically impressive and outgoing, but I don't have the smarts for a high paying job, so I won't get the best girl either. I worked on my natural advantages. You need to do the same thing. Develop your natural advantages, stay physically fit, keep a positive attitude, and most importantly go out and interact with people, and you WILL be able to get a quality man. You should also keep in mind that people like your sister are EXTREMELY rare.

You should also seriously consider moving to a location with a large military population, or a place with a large oil or gas industry, because those places typically have severe shortages of women. In a typical oil or military town, any woman--ESPECIALLY one your age--is worth ten times her weight in gold.

[abundantlyrich]

it doesn't mean theyre all quality guys there

[echoaj]

I think it is important to be yourself but I think it is equally important to better yourself as well.

You sound exactly like me.

I always compare myself to my best friend Cade. Cade always gets all the girls at school and every one loves him and talks to him.

So this year I have changed myself a lot. I have been reading self hep books like "beyond shyness". I have a new clothes and a new hair cut and I think I look sexy. I now love myself for treating my self well and bettering myself both social and physically.

If you don't like the way you are then do something about it and change yourself. That's what I did and I feel great. :) but be yourself though. A better self :)

[Stillwater]

Be YOURSELF! If you try to be her, you will never succeed. Find yourself! What do you like to do? What do you want to be like? Be you. If you can get to where you look in the mirror and can say "I really like you!" to yourself you will be much more attractive as a person.

A man who is worth being called a man does not look ONLY at beauty on the surface...they are also attracted to women who make them feel alive. Look at some movie and TV actresses. Some of them are not terribly attractive physically but men are attracted to them. Why? Because they are ALIVE! Love yourself first, and the rest will come.

Bless you and best luck to you! I hope you learn to love yourself. That is the key.

[thetundrawolf]

Huh. I feel sorry for your sister. Girls like that who are "Gushed on" usually let it go to their heads. They become vane, and conceited, whereas you will likely always have a level headed understanding of who you really are.

Don't feel that way, there is a man out there who is going to love you, cherish you, and want to be near you. Not because of your face or anything ridiculous like that, but because you have a warm, caring heart, and a sweet personality.

[toouglytobeloved]

i think you over reacting, I'm sure guys love you but you probably don't notice them, and plus a lot of guys are alienated, ignored, and rejected by girls and because of that they will never make moves etc, and wait for the girl to make all the first moves

[abundantlyrich]

Is your sister younger than you?

[Asker]

no older

[abundantlyrich]

You are still young and have lots of time to invest in why ourself.. why are you worrying about why family friends think? is it because you have a crush on one of them or?

[Asker]

I don't have a crush. I just feel like with everyone always praiser over how beautiful my sister is or how perfect she is, that maybe I'm not pretty enough or good enough

[abundantlyrich]

right, sibling jealousy