This is an argument in defense against those who want to say that beauty means nothing, that having looks hold no value, and that anyone who ascribes value to it is superficial and/or hornier for sex than emotional connection.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, very true. Everyone has a favorite color, is drawn to different shapes, and much of this is psychological rather than some inborn instinct towards the color red, for instance. In other word, it's what you, in your mind, have ascribed to that certain visual image that then tells your concious brain: "I like this." We have all beens socialized together, so it's not suprising that we have many of the same tastes, generally speaking. True art, though, comes from pleasing one's very individual, very specific tastes. For instance, "The Trapeze Swinger" by Iron and Wine is a 9 minute songs where he more or less repeats the same basic melody over and over. However, for me, it is the perfect song because it sits in a moment for such a long time and has lyrics that challenge you into your own emotional pain and create emotional tenderness in a world where we all work so hard to never feel sad emotions. Yet, for others, this song is possibly Sam Beam's most polorizing work, because it for all intensive purposes a boring song.
A woman's beauty works similarly. For those of us socialized in America, someone like Kate Upton is possibly the most pleasing to everyone. Yet, for myself, I prefer a more slavic look in a European decented woman. For others, they may prefer redheaded Irish girls. I may like pale girls with large butts and small breasts. Maybe that represents something to me mentally that causes me to be physically stimulated by the sight of them. For other men, that image of a woman might be ok, but it may be something they easiliy choose to pass up. This is a good thing. This is having a certain taste. Having a certain taste is the essense of being able to appreciate art.
A woman's beauty is her art. Yes, men are very visual and the construct in this country, a legacy of a patriarchical society, is to choose a woman to approach out of a group of women. Therefore, we have evolved mentally to see women as flowers. Some flowers speak to you, some others don't. Some metaphorically knock you over with how beautiful you think they are, while other's repulse you entirely. Yet, what remains constant is that men are looking at women primarily as a means of knowing the woman's personal value to them as a man. This is not just when first approaching a woman. It is waking up next to a woman in the morning light, and appreciating just looking at a woman who is so very beautiful to him. I think many men can agree that we've all had the experience of just wanting to stare at a woman who is beautiful. This makes us happy and this is not wrong. We love what our eyes can see, we love to see it. We are in love when looking at a beautiful woman and we are in love with the image of her. This is not wrong. Our eyes are a function of our bodies and our minds ability to interpret the world around us and lie to us and mispercieve things far less than our other functions of our minds do. It is such a strong means to which we experience joy that I would argue staring at a gorgeous naked girl smiling at you from beneath the covers is nearly if not more so more joyful than the actual sex itself. Feeling this way, doesn't make me superficial, it makes me an appreciator of fine art with the taste to hold the moment of her beauty suspended in joy for as long as possible before taking her. Liken it to smelling a fine wine for a long time and enjoying the scent and the promises it brings before finally taking a sip. It also doesn't make me an artist, it makes her the artist. Her beauty is her art, her natural looks are her canvas, and her makeup as well as her personality are both, in equal parts, her paintbrushes. Both have the power to make the canvas more beautiful, yet in a scenario in which a physically ugly woman becomes beautiful after getting to know her, it is still her visual beauty, raised up by her great personality that you are enjoying. In this way, I would argue that no man can be in love with a woman he does not find physically beautiful and his desire to be a with a woman who cannot spark that appreciation for the art of her beauty within him is doing so out of shame for himself as a man and his desire's which he has convinced himself are superficial and primative. Yet, the truth of the matter is that they are incredibly sophisticated and artistic. He has found an image which speaks to him. He has found a woman who, in his eyes, deserves the world. He has a found another person to fight for as he fights for himself. He has found happiness.
I'll conclude by saying that I have challenged myself here to not simply spew our rhetoric which I know to have the effect of offending others who don't understand my intention. Instead, I attempted to say nothing without explaining exactly what I mean and why it makes sense to logic. I have endeavored to consider all sides and all counterarguments to my claim. Yet, the fact that what society has taught you highly contradicts what I am saying right now. Therefore, your natural instinct will be to dimiss this argument because it is scary and uncomfortable to accept that you are being lied to and made to feel shame about something, which is not shameful. I'd ask you to consider that society has been wrong many times before and at the time we can be sure that they did not think that they were wrong at all. It is possible that American society is wrong about something. It is possible that the narrative that we aren't supposed to value woman primarily for their looks and that doing so is empty and morally wrong could be a false way of making us feel shame as a means of controlling us is possible. You see, when I can convince you to be ashamed of yourself, I can convince you that you are wrong and that I am right. Once you believe that you are wrong and that I was right to make you feel wrong about yourself, you voluntarily give me control of your reality. I determine for you what is the truth what is moral and what is acceptable. Once I control what is acceptable, you can only act in accordance with my principles. If every man felt like it was ok to go after girls because they thought they were beautiful and not because they were trying to conform and prove to their master (society) that they are good little men who care about what they're supposed to care about, everything besides beauty, then men would be choosing for themselves, living off of their own interests and artistic tastes instead of societies. Society is not evil to do this, since it only seeks to control it's individuals in order to preserve order through making sense of things. If we weren't controlled by the pressure of society shaming us, there would be chaos since there would be no shame and everyone would do whatever they wanted presumably. Yet, while this is great in situations such as committing crimes, it is not great when it comes to attraction. Therefore, I hope you actually take this argument based on how much it makes sense to you and not what your own sense of shame is preventing you from believing in.