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A Girl Can Never Have Too Many Clothes

A few weeks ago, I asked my husband to fetch my slippers out of my closet. He came out with my slippers in hand and a very perplexed look. I inquired about the nature of his perplexity, where after he said in a small, quivery voice, "Why do you have so many pairs of shoes?"

Since humans started wearing clothes in the first place, women have usually had more fashion needs than men. Why? Because all men need to get by are a couple of pairs of serviceable jeans, a few Dockers, a couple of changes of work clothes and shoes and a dilapidated pair of sneakers and they're good to go. Ladies, however, couldn't begin to get by on such meager fashions!

"Are you joking? I can't go out to dinner in that!" and "I wore it last week! What if someone sees me in the same outfit?" are common battle cries. By "someone," we always mean other women. It simply won't do to wear the same outfit twice in a row, or wearing heels with a scuffmark. We even scope out what make-up and jewelry other ladies are wearing. Your purse had better match your outfit, or there will be some serious eye-rolling at the office or in the classroom.




Jeans are the indispensable casual wardrobe-maker. Jeans are not simply jeans; they're the foundation around which many differing outfits are made. Why is it simply incomprehensible to the men in our lives that there are jeans for every occasion? Gentlemen, kindly pay close attention to this life lesson about women and jeans.

"Ask not why we need so many pairs of jeans; ask only, "Why don't you wear those great new jeans to dinner tonight?""

First, there are strictly casual jeans suitable for minor outings of minimal exposure and importance. Grocery shopping, general errands, that sort of thing. Then there are the "classy" jeans, worn only on occasions where others (women!) will be sure to notice the label. This, naturally, means we must wear a tuck-in shirt so that all-important label is visible. Then there are the seasonable jeans; these are the Capri-length styles and colors that look fabulous with a nicely cut sandal. There is even the new wave of overalls, decorated in all sorts of embroidered designs and really turn heads when we wear them with a snug-fitting T-top.

Oh, okay, so there are other categories of jeans. We have our "fat" jeans for that premenstrual bloating, we have our "skinny" jeans when we've been dieting ourselves into a stupor, and there are our "shlumpy" jeans that we reserve for household chores and maybe washing the dog. Never would we be caught dead wearing these out of the house, even if we're only taking out the trash! What would other people (women!) say?

So, what do you say, gentlemen? Are you getting it? Not all jeans are created equal. It took us a while, but we managed to teach you the correct answer to "Do I look fat in this?" With just a little effort on your part, you can also learn the correct answer to "Do you like my new jeans?" Ask not why we need so many pairs of jeans; ask only, "Why don't you wear those great new jeans to dinner tonight?"

If you're quick learner, it's only a simple leap to apply this same technique to our twenty-two sweaters, our ten pairs of heels, our drawer-bursting collection of Victoria's Secret lacy things, and our carefully chosen name-brand sandals. By heeding the advice in this article, you may well save your relationship!


What Guys Said 6

  • That's true , you can be rich by selling women's clothes alone..
    may be someone should try to invent very flexible wardobe so it can't be exploded..

    ;p

  • Basically your entire point is that all women have clothe-craziness because all other women have clothe-craziness.

    Strong.

  • I must agree about the jeans thing, except for some guys too. I have lots of jeans, more than lots of my girl friends too (18 pairs), haha. I have my like 6 I wear to school or work, and the rest are for all my other things I do.

  • I say it again: you girls are all completely crazy...

  • Unfortunately, this article labors under the impression that everybody's opinion about your wardrobe matters.

    Having different clothes for different purposes (like a pair of jeans for premenstrual bloating) is grand. It's something that serves a purpose other than fashion. Having another outfit because you "wore the same thing last week" is stupid. Wash it, dry it, wear it again. Pick a couple of nice outfits, and impress people with your personality instead. Don't be wasteful with money.

  • Nope. I hate wearing jeans. Dickies all the way.

What Girls Said 8

  • There are some points of truth in this! Funny xD

  • I have a decent amount of clothes, but I wear only half of them. There are some clothes I consider basics, and other clothes that look pretty good on me. Those get worn a lot. Then, there are those clothes I like but don't get combined into many outfits. Then, there are the clothes that look too shaggy because I lost weight, and the clothes that wait to be worn when I loose more weight. finally, there are the clothes I like to see but don't look good on me and the clothes people have given me, but I dislike.

  • Clothes... it is like medicine for girls and you can't save on medicine, guys should understand it

  • I agree as the owner of 150 plus pair of shoes and 65 plus pair of jeans....I get crap about it all the time from my guy but I NEED everything I have because it all goes with something right? lol

  • Totally Agree- A similar situation happened when my boyfriend wanted to borrow my guitar, I ended in a 20min lecture on the necessity to have so many jeans. Of course after our great debate he smiles with pride and says "Cute jeans baby".!!!

  • Jesus...I don't think you need THIS many pair of jeans....5 is enough.

  • Yes she can have too many clothes when she doesn't have anywhere else to put them. My sister has a lot of clothes and she always gives them away because she doesn't have any room. Honestly, I have no idea why she keeps buying clothes if she has no where to put them.

  • Thank you! I agree...I don't spend much money on clothes (I stick with Goodwill, Plato's closet, garage sales, and discount stores), but I have to admit, my closet is HUGE.

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