what do men that are not the fathers, think about women's bodies who have had babies? I used to have a tight, little body with a great ass and nice perfect boobs! now I have stretch marks, my boobs are deflated and my skin isn't as tight. I absolutely hate it. I'm getting surgery as soon as I can save up the money. I'm not with the babies dad so it scares me when a guy sees me naked Because he doesn't know how good I looked before! what do men really think?do ruined bodies turn a guy off?
To the anonymous male answerer who said, "It shows that you were irresponsible when you were having sex. That or you don't love very easily."
You are just plain stupid.
There is no causal connection between her having a child and being irresponsible. You don't have any idea how long she was involved with the father of her child and birth control isn't 100% effective. The pill fails, as do condoms, and every other form of birth control. Many, many people in the world today are the product of an "oops" between two people who may/may not have been married. You also have no idea if this child was planned or not. Perhaps they planned to have a child, but then the guy freaked and bailed. My point is YOU just don't know, therefore it's irresponsible of you to make such judgments about her life.
Second, how in God's name did you reach the clearly illogical conclusion that because she has a child she doesn't "love very easily?" Dumb, dumb, dumb. Seriously, do you even think before you start speaking (or typing)?
I'm glad you showed everyone just how ignorant you are so they can disregard everything you said.
Well considering the fact I would be married to the girl (in other words I would have commit myself 100% to her and have to love her), I should have already accepted and loved how she is, she will always be beautiful and mine so when the kid comes along I would still love and be attracted to her... maybe even more so because of what she gave me.
In all honesty though... I feel I would only feel that way if it was a girl who only had my kid, it'd be harder to accept otherwise but I think it'd be easier for you to find a guy who already has a child so he understands
Wow, I do not know how to put it in a good way, but yes, post baby bodies are a bit of turn off, one of the reasons why guys don't wanna date a woman with young kids. You do not have to go for surgery dear, just pay a personal trainer at gym and work out, avoid food and you'll be back in shape in less than 6 months. Don't be shy with a new guy, he'll adjust. But most of all don't get negative ideas, you can fix everything, your worry can be your motivation, just work out hard, for a few months and you'll be ok.
It's probably more healthy to shift your focus as to what's important here, but I can answer this honestly anyway.
Simple answer: "yes" at least to some degree (most things can be more accurately represented when plotted on a continuum)
This really only matters as much as you want it to matter. If it keeps you from landing/keeping the kind of man you want to be with, then it matters. If whoever you're with is fine with your body it shouldn't matter.
It's normal for younger women without kids to land alpha males, and for older post child bearing women to land beta males. Betas don't care as much as the alphas do about "standards of beauty." If this is upsetting blame millions of years of evolution, but don't stress about it too long as that's not really healthy. The best way to get what you want is to want what you have (or can have).
well I might be on the edge of the intelligent hurdle. OK this may be weird but part of guy's sex drive, horny, kinky whatever is probably wired in for reproduction. ya think. a good mommie with an OK body, yeah she is not 14 any more, has a certain attraction. and there is a want to be the man thing, like take over sh*t. Save the day like. This is not the most intelligent response. message if ya want. might be able to work through it. Just hate to see nice girls go through surgery and stuff if they do not have to.
If you have a kid, its best to look for guys who also have a kid. They will be far more understanding of your situation and the struggles that go with being a parent.
I personally would not date a single mother simply because I know I would come in second to her child (as it should be), and that is something I'm not interested in.
Regarding "post baby bodies," I've seen plenty of women with more than one kid who are in incredible shape. Some hard time at the gym will pay off with the right diet. Just don't let yourself go like a lot of parents (both men and women) do.
What kind of surgery are you getting? That alarms me..O:O.,.most guys are fine with stretch marks..you skin should tighten up...look...the two main problems babies cause are: weight gain & loose vagina...alot of females are never nice & trim ever again after weight gain from pregnancy...I don't know what the answer is to this unfortunate circumstance but that is the primary visual turn off...as for the other...both males & females complain that sex isn't as good after natural childbirth rips a female's vagina wide open...I cannot believe that modern technology hasn't figured out soome way to reduce the damage done by natural childbirth...but if so, I have not heard of it...that said I feel that the problems you are seeing are more attuned to your own critical eye than anything a male would be critical of...(:
I was talking to my cousin the other day. He tried to date a girl with a baby and he just couldn't do it. She was hot and all, no matter if she had stretch marks and whatever or not but he just thinks it's TOO MUCH baggage. I mean, you're taking care of a kid that's not yours, and men at his and my age just aren't ready for that yet. It shows that you were irresponsible when you were having sex. That or you don't love very easily.
So...the dreaded stretch mark issue.For starters I will say,do what makes you happy or what will make you feel comfortable.Im not going to tell you not to get cosmetic sugery,but just do your research thoughrally.Now,i grew up as a stick figure and when puberty hit and I got some HIPS and a bum,it left behind stretch marks that do not easily fade.Yeah,i was bummed about it and upset...even embarrassed.I would love to wear bikinis but...whatever.As time went on I realized,"Wait a minute.Im healthy,i have all of my limbs AND guys that I have dated COULD CARE LESS." It's normal,and someone who likes you for you,wont even think twice about it.So do I worry that much about it now?Not really,just because in the whole scheme of life,its not that important.But...the gym would help get you toned and tight.Anyone who is a more evolved individual would undestand the human body...and those are the kind of guys you should go for.Lastly...you brought life into this world,if some douche is going to judge your body after that...forget him and move on to someone of quality.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Nobody is perfect. And I'm sure you don't look that bad. I go on that site often because I was curious, since I have a lot of friends who are or have been pregnant and now complain about their bodies.
I think the most upsetting thing for them is that their body has changed. A post-pregnancy body is perfectly natural and not something to be feared. I can certainly understand if someone had an amazing body before and now maybe has a little bit of saggy skin and some stretch marks why that would bother them. For many it's probably the first time they have ever experienced stretch marks or saggy skin.
But I think a lot of the guys on this site are too young for this question(no offense). Most are 18-24, and you are 30-35. Nothing wrong with young guys, but most of the guys closer to your age will probably be more understanding and their opinions will probably be different. They have had more life experience and understand that no one is perfect and would probably have no problem with a post-pregnancy body. Most of these guys have probably not experienced a post-pregnant body or even a woman while she was pregnant.
I know until I went on that site, I didn't know what a post-pregnancy body looked like. They don't show this on TV and that is what makes me sad, because now it's seen as being "scary and something to be feared".
Quite frankly, most of those women look better than me and I haven't had any kids. But I have still found a guy who loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. So I don't think I would worry so much about it.
There are men out there who will love you just as you are. But if you want to get your boobs done, I say go for it! There is nothing wrong with getting something fixed that you don't like as long as you don't let it define you :)
I went on Shape of a Mother and the photos I saw there terrified me of a post baby body, to the point that I would now rather adopt. Guys should check out that site then come back and respond with honest opinions about the bodies on there. Some are scary :\
Hearing this question and these answers make me not want to have kids.):