IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT: Many Girls Are Socially Awkward

[pavlove]

Gentlemen, I've seen a lot of girls beating you up on here about being the nice guy and how that's boring and how you can't bore a girl into a relationship and you can't treat her like a girlfriend when you just met if you want any chance of her being into you. This is all true. However, I think it's important to point out one thing.

Many girls are socially awkward with guys.

First, let me explain what I mean. Many girls, if you let them, will let the conversation drag, won't contribute much to it on their own, will respond to your various topics of conversation with few words that don't really lead to anything substantial you can use to talk about in return. This is not just laziness--many of them honestly lack the ability to think of anything to say.

It's a strange thing when you have learned (re-learned?) the magical ability to talk about anything anytime with anyone ever and you pass the baton to someone else guy or girl and they don't know what to do with it and try desperatly to hand it back to you. Which leads me to my next observation--the why.

Girls are socialized typically in reaction. They look good--they are talked to, they are asked out, they are invited to parties. A girl typical thrives in fitting in with the girl pack whereas guys typically follow a more singular structure whereby the "alpha" leader of guys gets a bunch of girls because girls see him as the leader and the "lonewolf" also gets a lot of girls if he's really confident in doing his own thing that girls want to be on his team/path/world etc. As boys we're raised to talk loudest, hold strong opinions about everything, and argue/fight all the time typically speaking.

So what? So girls don't do or know how to do most of the talking. Well, the reason I think it's important that guys realize it's "not their fault" is the fact that realizing such allows you to know and accept your responsibility that is if you want to essentially get to a point where you can more or less choose a girl you want to get laid or date and have a very reasonable chance of getting both or either. You need to talk, if she's a super talker and you like that good for you, but for the majority you have got to talk talk your ass off and when that moment comes where you're like why is this conversation dead and so you decide to compliment her endlessly and uselessly because it's "how you really feel" don't follow that instinct just talk some more about nonsense.

See, because of this social awkwardness many girls want a guy who can allow them to be the recievers and so when they say i like a guy with a lot of personality it's typically because they themselves are not super outgoing. This is by far the most effective way of consistently getting laid and girlfirends. It's not the only way. It's maybe not even the most devastating but it's so consistent when you can be extremely fun and easy to talk to. Of course sometimes one word answers are actual indications that she doesn't have an interest in talking to you but hey I've seen a lot of guys way more oblivious than i am simply keep talking and being unaware of her lack of interest that she eventually came around to their personality. I'm not saying to be oblivious but also realize that you want to pull the ejection shoot can be a sign of your fear of "bothering her" rather than an actual realization that you are bothering her.

And, finally, if she calls you out on you talking nonsense (which you likely are) just realize she probably couldn't do better and likes, for some strange reason, the fact that you're talking nonsense and not making the mistake of being too silent or too serious too early on.

[QuestionMan]

I've started noticing it recently. I thought it was my fault but turned out these girls are just boring.

[Jayson101]

I know. Tell me about it. I've met those girls that are too pretty and have no idea how to hold a normal conversation. THe flirtatious and lively ones are btter.

[QuestionMan]

@Jayson101 Yeah. There was this one girl she liked me, always smiled at me but when I'd try to talk to her she would give me a one word answer to every question. I told her that I couldn't hold a conversation on my own and she just said she's shy.
Thing is I'm really shy myself.

[aliceinwonderland69]

It's funny cos guys normally complain about women talking too much nonsense!

[dudeman]

they say a lot of words but the dont really say anything.

[heavensgift2girls]

I agree that a lot of women are so boring, they need a guy that can bring excitement into her life because she can't do it on her own. That is why so many women will only choose the boring reliable guy once she gets really desperate, and why many of them will even prefer criminals.

[AperolSpritz]

There are also women out there who prefer a bad boy because they need someone who can keep up with them ( I'm not saying that's me, I just know a couple of girls who's lives are pretty "lively" and a typical "nice" guy would be no match for them)

What you're saying is women who go for nice guys are desperate, and the ones who go for the whole bad boy thing are bored? Well that's nice.

There is also this little thing called "liking someone" that's a pretty common reason for dating someone. Give it a try sometime. It is a pretty good reason.
It definitely helps.

[pavlove]

@AperolSpritz lol gentlemen, observe. See how she cloaks her insults (which occur in each and every paragraph) so that if you were to call her out on it she'd have plausible deniability and say "how am I insulting anyone?)

Here's how this is working. See, for for many girls the idea of how will this affect the other person? will it offend them? is so instinctual and automatic that her ability to manipulate whether or not something she says is offensive is rather adept. heavesgif2girls opened with "a lot of women are so boring" which is so blunt that 90 percent of women who read it will be think he hates women and prone to generalizations. He likely didn't even consider how it would be taken by another person and the idea of thinking about whether his phrasing would offend someone probably makes his head hurt.

Back to this girl aperol--"who need to keep up with them" is paired with "i'm not saying that's me" ----she's effectively cutting him, me, and other guys "down to size" by

[pavlove]

@AperolSpritz saying we can't keep up with them BUT she's not being a jerk because she's saying "i'm not saying that's me" which puts the guy at ease because it puts the source of the rejection off of her and onto a nebulous "alpha girl" who we presumably can't keep up with.

second paragraph she's making it seem like he's making a generalization that he isn't making and then rejection it with a sarcastic comment as if he made it. again she's making him the jerk so then her sarcasm is not mean, it's justified given his incorrect assumptions (that he didn't actually make.)

last paragraph now she's clearly talking down to him but she's doing it in a way thats is very girl power esque beacuse it clearly takes the side of women as individuals even though it also is rather condescending in it's phrasing. (again cloaking her cruelty under a guidse of deniability) "give it a try sometime. its a pretty good reason" is more pushing the dagger of condescension more deeply through his flesh.

[pavlove]

@AperolSpritz of course this is a lot of breaking down of social mechanisms that she is likely not even aware of a conscious level but what is going on regardless. they are, rather, the unconscious motivating factors in the way she chooses to say the things that she does but the point is we are all brutal. Girls just make it pretty. This girl is a straight up, douchey bitch

[heavensgift2girls]

@Asker I noticed what she is up to, although I am glad to see other people are noticing it as well. It shows that people are catching on to this type of rudeness. Although I don't think it matters how careful I am not to offend someone. People will still be offended. No matter what we say or do, someone will find a reason to be offended by it. I even suspected that someone would come by trying to twist my words into a generalization about women. It is just that common for people to want to invent reasons to be offended.

@AperolSpritz Clearly I was talking about a certain type of woman. Therefore I never implied that all women only want nice guys once they are desperate.

The type of women that fit that description are boring, and need the guy to provide her with excitement. This is a huge red flag that guys need to start looking for. The fact that I am pointing out that they exist doesn't mean all women are that way, or that I don't understand the concept of "liking someone".

[pavlove]

@heavensgift2girls yes, exactly. I suspect that at some point in your opinion you offended this girl and so she wanted to retaliate. I understand retaliation but what i don't like is the passive aggressiveness of it. Just be upfront that you're hurt instead of this nonsense.

[skeptic007]

please stop with the alpha crap there's no such thing

[DORIFUTO_KINGU]

Spoken like a true beta

[2252543]

I agree, there is no such thing as alpha man or woman.

[DORIFUTO_KINGU]

@2252543 Alpha male has dollas, tuned cars and bitches on his dick
Beta male lives with mom, drives a rusty stock Accord and smells of Doritos and body odor.

[2252543]

@DORIFUTO_KINGU Whatever you say. I don't label people in that way.

[pavlove]

@2252543 it's just a way of describing what a woman is attracted to generally on a primal rather than a logical level.

it's like if a woman always made sure to call you back when she missed a call then logically you'd be more attracted to her but if she goes to the gym 3-5 hours a day you'll be more attracted to her on a primal level. in my experience, primal beats logical on every level except marriage and sometimes dating if the girl is a really controlled type of personality that won't follower her natural lusts

[2252543]

That is a good point. But people (women and men) have different preferences, so I am not sure if we can put them all in one group. For example, some people, like the character Amy in the Big Bang Theory, are turned on by very inteligent people. Well, I should say "by very inteligent people, too". Because, in one episode, she was turned on by former boyfriend of Penny, tall guy with a lot of muscles, but not very inteligent.

[pavlove]

@2252543 true and i think it's possible to be alpha in intelligence ie the professor nailing all of his female grad students.

[MrMuffinMan]

What's he supposed to do? Teleport? Is it really that alpha to call someone out behind a computer screen?

[DORIFUTO_KINGU]

.38 sorry.

[pavlove]

@DORIFUTO_KINGU lol @ the fact that this is only continuing to go on because no moderator can see this take

[Jayson101]

@DORIFUTO_KINGU Kate Bush is an Alpha Female.

[Jayson101]

@2252543 Kate Bush is the Alpha Female

[Pacificblue62]

Yes this is very true!