Crush likes me back, but now I feel unworthy... wtf?

[Anonymous]

This is so stupid. Before I was completely sure my crush liked me back we would always say hello and smile like crazy at each other. Now that I know he likes me I don't like him as much, like I almost feel unworthy of his gorgeous self and that he only likes me because he doesn't really know me. I feel that if he gets to know me he will end up not liking me and finding someone better, so now I just want to avoid him. This sucks. I think it's mainly because he is very attractive and I feel not his equal. the only reason I flirted with him was because I thought 'what the hell...'

WHAT NOW?

[BurningEmbers]

Let me tell you what is happening on my end if it is similar to your situation. My best friend of 8 months… I always had the gut instinct that she was attracted to me, but I never approached the subject because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be romantic with her. We were the best of friends and it is probably my most cherished relationship of my life. I started falling in love… She said I love you at the end of a phone conversation and I paused, hesitated. We had been planning on living together for months, and two weeks before she says she is bringing her new boyfriend. We all lasted one week. Initially she seemed happy with talking about my feelings that I had developed, but then all of sudden I was getting yelled at for things I didn’t understand. She said things like… “look at how I treat my dog,” “move on to bigger and better things.” Etc and resented me for thinking she was flirting with me. I don’t know… but if it all went sour because she thinks she is not worthy, this is a tragedy because I have never felt more love, and happier than during the times we were truly connected. If she could see herself through my eyes then she would know how worthy and amazing she is. Unfortunately… from what I am told by a third party… her and the boyfriend tear each other down daily.

[JPup82]

It's totally understandable you feel inferior and unworthy, because the fact is, you probably are. You've placed this guy in the "unatainable" for a long time, and now that he's looking your way, you feel unable to live up to him. You lack confidence, and like anything, that comes with time.

In the mean time, fake it till you make it and enjoy the ride that so few get to enjoy - dating your crush. Also, treat yourself like your home when important guests are coming to visit. Spend extra time caring about hygiene. Wear your best clothing, genuinely focuse on making yourself better and you'd be surprised as to how worthy you truly are.

Hope this kick in the ass and mind helps.

[Asker]

Well that definitely didn't exactly help my self-esteem.

Then why does he like me back, he even acts nervous, if I am 'inferior'? He has only been my crush for like a month lol I don't think he was on a pedestal for long.

And, yes, I always dress nice and present myself in the best way but I feel like that's the problem, that's all he is seeing. Basically, I feel like a show pony, if that makes any sense.

[JPup82]

Yup, I can be a bit ego bruising sometimes, but that's because I'm always honest.

Look at it this way, you're only having reservations about this guy because of the very thing you feel "hurt" just now - your self-esteem. Your pride is getting in the way of letting you be happy, and if it's true you feel like a "show pony" as you described, then perhaps focusing on widening your horizons to make the personality just as flashy as the way you dress.

[Asker]

But what I want to know is WHY my self-esteem is being hurt by this guy showing interest back...shouldn't this higher my self-esteem?

How is my pride getting in the way? How am I proud.

Yes, I agree, your honest, thank you, this does help me out... a lil

:)

[DallasTexasGirly]

The reason why you might have liked him could be because you thought you could never have him and now that you realize he likes you it kinda takes the fun away from it. He might not be able to beat your dreams : P

[curiouschica]

lol he obviously thinks you're worthy if he likes u! Get the doubts out of your head and stop sabotaging your chances!

[Rashad]

OMG! this is the same reason why I'm single. I like a girl when she doesn't like me, and when she confirms that she likes me I don't like her anymore.

[Asker]

lol. yyyyyyeeaaahhh, it's really annoying, and makes no sense to me.

[NonchalantBro]

"he only likes me because he doesn't really know me" ...no one is perfect, or free of insecurities, including him. Plus, if he has any sense about him, he'll know that you two don't really know each other at this point...so at some point he'd like to get to know you better, big deal :p its not like you two were planning a wedding for next week (I hope you see the humor in this). take it easy