A Woman's Guide To Understanding The Me vs The World Mentality

[colemex43]

Some women look at guys that lack fear, are insensitive, and have short tempers as undatable. Ladies, when you come across these types of guys do you ever consider what he has went through in his life? No man is born an asshole. Nor is a man born insensitive. How a man turns out personality wise depends on his experiences and the enviornment that he grows up in.

If you were guessing that I am talking about myself then you are correct. I am probably the least general liked person worldwide. I speak my mind regardless of how people feel and only trust those who have earned it. I have a never quit attitude and I keep pushing forward when times get rough. I also refuse to walk with a smile on my face, although I have a beautiful smile. I have qualities and values that would make a woman want no other man. But because of my demanor, you judge me as undatable refusing to even try to understand the rough road I have traveled so far. You won't even give me a chance because you are afraid to let someone as independent, bold, and determined as me into your life. Why? I don't know.

"I speak my mind regardless of how people feel and only trust those who have earned it"

I never was liked but I was always respected. You females claim you want a man who values equality, is honest, and will stick by you through thick and thin. Unfortunately you will never find a man with those exact traits because they exist in guys like me, guys who you consider undatable. The guys similar to me treat our women right because we have been through so much bullshit when it comes to females that we are determined to prove our worth as a boyfriend. We don't fall in love easily because everybody who we tried to love stomped on our hearts and put it in the garbage disposal. The people who are supposed to unconditionally love you, people like your mother, constantly belittle you and critize you when you are struggling. Daddy never around, no friends for support, we are forced to become men on our own.

We learn to push on through hard times because we believe that it does not rain forever. We test people who want to get close to us as we want to ensure their loyalty. The friends we do get are usually guys and our bond becomes stronger than welded steel. We live by the bro code because we have learned that while girls will eventually ditch you, your bros will forever ride with you. We do not fear death because we realized that when its time for you to die, you are going to die. We feel like outlaws, believing that no one can truly accept us for who we are. because of this, mentally we are the strongest of the strong and are the most likely to survive a life or death situation. this is the me vs the world mentality. Guys like us want true love more than any other man. But because of our independence, we do not show it. In fact we try and bury it within our souls so that we can maintain our ability to be strong.

No man is an island no matter how independent he is. A king needs a queen and thats been the case since Adam and Eve. But unfortunatly you consider us undatable. Why? We will never know. But if you do attempt to date us, please have paitence. You will be kept at a distance while we get to know you. Once you show that you truly love us and will support us through thick and thin, only then we will let our guard down. And you will in turn be the happiest woman in the world because we will cherish you like no other man can, due to the experiences we went through growing up.

So when you see a guy like me on the street, do not judge him and write him off as undatable. Instead walk up to him and talk to him. Ask him questions and try to get to know him. If you like him and want him as your boyfriend be paitent as he will not let his guard down until he knows that you're sincere. A man with a me vs the world attitude may seem undatable but in fact they are the most valuable men on this planet.

[UberTroll]

There's nothing wrong with a lack of fear, however being insensitive and having a short temper are huge deal breakers for me. Going through hard times is no excuse for insensitivity or short tempers either. Personality is part nature and environment so it's not all about the things you've gone through. A guy can go through hard things in his life and still not become an a**hole. It's also very possible to find a guy who's honest and committed without being an a**hole, my boyfriend is one of them

[kholland65]

That said, I can understand the girls point of view. At the end of the day, damaged goods are damaged goods, and I don't blame people sometimes for being unwilling to dive a little deeper or take a chance.

I will tell you this, In my experience, usually the most rough and tough, seemingly emotionless guys, are the ones that love you until the end of the world if you simply show him you are loyal and trustworthy.

[Bethany94]

Grow up and stop whining. If you're an a**hole, you're an a**hole. If you're going to treat me like an a**hole, I'm not going to be around you. I don't care if you're damaged goods or some sh*t. I know plenty of people who are f***ed up, but they can still enjoy life and not make other people feel like sh*t. Environment isn't everything. How you choose to handle stress and new encounters is what makes you you. Don't blame a bad situation for your bad attitude.

[delicatedreams]

I believe that you truly spoke your mind. I appreciate that. At some point in time, everybody feels like it's me against the world. I have found that perpuating that mindset actually pushes people out.

If you try to let people in, which is hard, you actually show strength. Me against the world means you continue to hide. Notice how you want other people to change their opinion and you talk about girls approaching you at the end. How about you approach them openly, man? Takes courage

[kia58]

This is what I got out of all this..

I've been hurt.

That's why I feel privileged that I need to be "understood" and forgiven for acting like an ass.

It's just a lie and an armor, so give me time.

And my answer is no.

I am sorry, but I've had bad things happen to me in the past too. But I don't expect to smack someone whose love I want, with my insecurity and fears. You can't test people by abusing them. You just sound like a kid.

So your armor is not the problem, the baby underneath is.

[Sparkling]

I get your point, but for most people that is not going to happen. I wouldn't go up to a guy that makes me feel intimidated *because he might just be a really nice guy*. He makes me feel intimidated! Some people will also be rude, which will make me feel uncomfortable, and just plain bad. I'll not spend my time with people who make me feel bad, I like feeling happy!

[kholland65]

First of all, I associate this with this almost 100%. Fortunately my family and friends have been fine, but my love life has really given me a hardened skinned. I've learned just how cruel the real world is. I've learned that political correctness doesn't truly solve anything and brutal honesty is always best. I've learned that men and women alike need to earn my trust and show me they are worthy of my love, since to many times has my love been wasted.

[Hannah591]

Interesting article and you brought up some good points, but you should see it from our point of view. Would you date a woman whose lack of fear made you feel intimidated, was insensitive to your feelings and had short tempers? Most guys can't handle our moodswings, let along a short temper! A guy who lacks fear, is short tempered and troubled is probably more likely to be aggressive/abusive in a woman's eyes. Even more so if he's insensitive to her feelings.

[shiv1990]

This is actually a well known syndrome womenbsuffer from. Most probably due to all this feminism crap that makes them believe in some kind of entitlement.

You should reject such women and take pride that you did the right thing. Nobody is above our self respect. And we are slaves to nobody. So ladies, respect us so we could respect you. You can't do that then your worthless.

[voit3]

I think this view is naive, but whatever. Don't think of yourself as special. This "me vs. the world" business is just about the default behavior from males at youth, and even beyond in many cases. The sad reality is that all you describe is just textbook, garden variety "baggage". If you can come to terms with that reality and break out of the illusion that you hold exclusive rights to hardship, maybe you can learn some humility. Until then, keep (apparently) failing.

[NastybutNice]

honestly I don't really care what you or anyone esle as been through being insensitive to others feelings just makes you an ass. your not the only one who as had a hard life you know. going through hell and coming out a nice (but not a push over) person... now that's strength. who what's someones whos insensitive and bitter. let the past go and open your heart.

[chuck101]

When it comes to first impressions, it's you in the present that matters, whoever you were is irrelevant. Nobody owes anyone a second chance and neither is anyone entitled to have a second chance. Make the best of your presence.

[Cathyc5678]

I appreciate this article. I feel as though my bf is like this, as he has been through so much in his life. I try to be patient, understanding, loyal, and supportive of him, and he is nothing but wonderful in return, slowly opening up to me. Thanks for your thoughts! Nobody is the same, so we shouldn't treat every one as such.

[Concol]

"I am probably the least general liked person worldwide." Wait, no one likes you but it's because you're secretly too awesome for anyone to handle? Wow, gives me a new angle with to view Adolf Hitler; he was just too awesome for people to understand. Maybe if women cut him some slack, WWII wouldn't have happened?

I also speak my mind, just don't need a supermacho attitude to do it... and I do smile when I walk, because I gotten over myself.

[nat101]

Very datailed and informative article but it didn't have to be so depresing. Stuff to think about though.

[Hannah591]

I agree though, that women should look past the hard exterior and I think guys should do the same for seemingly "emotionless" women.

[Deathcabforcutie]

Sure but just because I know he had a bad life doesn't change the fact he could punch me in the face if I a freed him.

[toulouse]

No one lacks fear. and no one knows what is in other peoples minds,so don't tell me what I think.

[CasaNorba]

kick ass article!

I must say we got a lot in common. reading the first paragraph made me feel like I was reading a diary of mines