The Disposable Male, and Why Many Guys Feel That Way

[Anpu23]

I want to discuss the concept of the disposable male. There was a feminist saying in the 70's "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" (Irina Dunn)

And since then we have seen a spike in divorce rates.

This has gotten to the point where there are entire areas where there are no men, just women and children. Article discussing this. What is the message that this is teaching our young men? When boys see there mothers, their mothers friends, and virtually every adult in his life, showing that men just don't count. And this is having disastrous effects some effects of living without a father.

Women have learned that if they are not happy with a situation that they can just leave the guy and move on to the next. This creates the paradox of choice, where if you are given too many choices you find that you are unhappy with any choice Wikipedia article on the choice paradox.

So, is it any wonder that many guys are having struggling? That guys feel that they just don't count? That they are easily replaceable, and that they must walk on egg shells around their relationships?

I hope that this helps those who wonder why some guys are so down on themselves. Anyway, what do you think?

[Jager66]

We've been over taken by a radical hate group, Feminism, shouldn't be any surprise that things have gone to shit.

It's only going to get worse too because the hatemongers will dig in their heels as they begin to lose power, this cause the counter movement to it to become just as radical, or even more so, than the original hate movement.

The result for women will be the loss of male protection and provision. For the first time in recorded history, maybe ever, women will be men's enemies and competitors and they will be treated just as harshly as any man would be by society, something most women are going to HATE.

[LittleSally]

And where does it say that all (or even most) women have all of these choices? Pure conjecture... > since the primal premise of this is incorrect... the whole thing just falls flat...

[Anpu23]

As women initiate 70% of all divorces (https://www. psychologytoday. com/blog/the-new-resilience/201508/women-initiate-divorce-much-more-men-heres-why) the choice is clearly womens.

[LittleSally]

So... you say that women should take whatever crap comes to them and not try to divorce?
We all know men are more than satisfied with living under one roof while galavanting and cheating under many others. Sensible women aren't.

[Anpu23]

I'm not saying that, I am saying that this culture is teaching young men that they just don't count. That guys are being taught that they don't matter. Yes there are good reasons to leave someone, but there are also bad ones. Like I pointed out, the paradox of choice increases dissatisfaction.

[Anpu23]

Further this is a discussion of men's feelings, how they view themselves. You can argue all you want that the primes is false, but it doesn't change the emotional response.

[LittleSally]

No, I get what you're saying... I just don't think women have more choices - they have less even... Since their priorities are usually family, i. e. children AND a job - and you can't really have that + go about town looking for dates...

[LittleSally]

You're right - men feel like this is true, I just don't see why... I do, however, see that they often love to make themsleves feel like victims. For some reason.

[Anpu23]

The choice paradox that I am referring to, is the dissatisfaction that comes from the knowledge that you cal leave a situation easily. I realize that women don't feel that they leave a relationship easily, but the legal system is set up to help a woman get out of a marriage relatively painlessly. So from a legal perspective divorce is an easy thing for a woman (and a financially crippling thing for a man)

[LittleSally]

Oh, well that's true - for the USA anyways... I'm pretty sure things aren't the same for the rest of the world, though. But yeah, the law always favors the woman - IF children are involved.

[Anpu23]

I am confused by your " I do, however, see that they often love to make themsleves feel like victims" there is a big difference between a victim stance and pointing out actual injustice. To say "oh poor me" is much different then saying "this is f'd up" and advocating for change. And part of advocating for change is creating awareness, as we live in a democracy and the majority is the first advocate for change.

[LittleSally]

I meant it in a general sense - most men love to feel sorry for themselves - when they have a good reason and when they don't at all... But I'm guessing that's beside the point.
I'm not from the US, so I wouldn't know about democricy... In most countries it's purely fictional...

[Anpu23]

I see, I actually speak about western mores and legal system as that is the system that I am living in and am arguing against.

[Wwwyzzerdd]

That isn't what is being discussed here. You brought self imposed victimhood into a discussion where the argument is presented as being "because of X, then Y".

The author isn't talking about men who feel sorry for themselves. The topic clearly states that society is treating men as disposable. You are comparing un-comparable topics and denigrating the authors argument by derailing it with your dismissive attitude. So far he presented statistics and factual data and you just keep countering saying that men like to feel sorry for themselves.

[haiiro]

I'm going to contribute to the point about single mothers.

The consensus today is that a single mother can raise a kid just as well as a man (or a couple) can. I say this is bullshit.

Anyone who has been anywhere close to the act of upbringing (everyone) Will know that it is a lot of work. Not only is it a lot of work, but it is difficult work. The most difficult part of all is the balance.
You have to balance keeping your kid safe against teaching your kid to keep himself safe.
Teaching him what is right and wrong in different circumstances while also allowing him to make up his own opinions.
You need to teach him to be active and interact with other people, while also teaching him how to be alone.

I don't believe any one person can do all this, not to mention the fact that women know nothing about how it is to grow up as a guy, or men know nothing about how it is to grow up as a girl. Heck even some Men don't know how it is to grow up as that particular boy you are supposed to take care of.

Most of the time even two people have trouble to muster the energy and time for all of this, and as a dude with a single mother, she did not muster enough.

[MrOwens]

Societal conditioning the Devaluation of men, or what I like to call "The Utility Male" Its thinking on the lines of some not all but ever growing modern Females seek men as Utility. Meaning ATM account, play them for their emotions. Much like their narcissistic parents used "Triangulation" while they were growing up. So its imposed on their partner in a relationship. The "or else" thinking of "If you dont give me what I want their will be hell to pay". Their is also the potential for utility the male for seed and offspring as a form of guaranteed payment in the form of child support. However Physiologist and therapist like myself are gaining ground for everyone's well being and mental health. You will soon see a shift in where all of those "because I am a woman, or feeling sorry for women behavior change". It took some time. But its catching up.

[MrOwens]

That is Psychology not Physiologist

[Anpu23]

Do you honestly think that it is getting better? And what benchmarks are you using for that?

[MrOwens]

I can only tell you. Showing you actual court documentation would be a hippa violation per client. I have been in court cases where original cases where the father had to take on the burden. After some time the mother was found less than a parent. Changing the custody in the fathers favor. How was it changed? Well though analysis, observation and the accumulation of counseling evaluations and assessments.

[Anpu23]

It's good to hear.

[Anonymous]

Excellent point! Feminists always bitch and whine about "Girl's self esteem" the messages we send to "young girls" and yet no one bothers to notice the massages we are sending to young boys! It's typical put girls on a pedestal treat boys as crap mentality of our feminist society!

[Anpu23]

I'm seriously thinking of doing a my take on the hate style propaganda we use against men and boys.

[Opinion Owner]

Please! There is so little information on that allowed even on the internet by feminist groups!

[COCOCHANEL]

i actually read a book about that 10 years ago

[Anpu23]

@COCOCHANEL do you remember the name of the book?

[COCOCHANEL]

i think it was this
https://claytonlessor.com/saving-our-sons-giveaway/

[Anpu23]

@COCOCHANEL thank you.

[Opinion Owner]

What another feminist book that blames men for being men? It isn't that hard. Give boys the same love and affection that are given to girls!

[Scrambledagain]

It's the most amazing thing I found in this entire love game. The moment men play women like they are disposable, that's when a guy becomes successful in the dating game. Vice versa I suppose. Unfortunately men need sex. So women can live without men but damn,... we will struggle without women lol.

[Anpu23]

It's crazy isn't it?

[feminismisnarcissism]

ya, we DO need sex-thus why you seek sex from SEVERAL women, not just one. if you seek it ONLY with one-then SHE has the power. if you get 3-4 different girls every week (ie consistent-same pool of women) then, who gives a fuck if one of them "dumps you" (in quotes cuz they ALWAYS come back when you don't give a fuck lol) then YOU Have the power and YOU have the pussy...

[feminismisnarcissism]

(with the one exception above-there's only ONE TIME to devote yourself to ONE girl alone.

[Scrambledagain]

@feminismisnarcissism agreed.

[joemm]

An easy way to get discarded is unclean and rough penis skin. Trust me.. no one likes this. So I suggest that all guys use one of those penis health cremes they have on the market nowadays. These are made just for men and keep the penis extra smooth, clean and odor-free. There are other benefits to using one these cremes too, so check them out.

[feminismisnarcissism]

don't get married. get serious ONLY with a girl moving the same speed, ie one TOTALLY devoted to you, totally into you. rare, but worth the wait.

beyond that-never ever put all your eggs in only ONE basket (less the exception above), make THEM disposable, then you're suddenly quite special to women-make THEM fight for you... make yourself "the one that got away" once a month lol

[anonman32]

the first article was from 2007, do you have any more recent ones?

also if women dont need men why are there so many women not too fond of MGTOW'ers? women still want men man.

[Anpu23]

It's not that they don't need men, it's that thay want men on their own terms. To use and then throw away. MIGTOW are saying "we will not be used that way"

[anonman32]

MGTOW will not be used at all.

[Anpu23]

exactly, and then comes the backlash. The feminists have always wanted their cake and to eat it too. Even the Suffragettes wanted the vote, but no draft for women. All of the privileges and none of the responsibilities that come with those privileges.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

We are all disposable. We are each just one person out of 7 billion. That being said, that's makes things easier. Why take anything serious.

[Screamsgutter]

What's sad is that every guy on here can agree to the same reasons over and over and over and three quarters of the women will either think they somehow know better than us or will look at it like it's Sanskrit or something.

[Marinepilot]

Feminisn has done more harm to men than anything I can think of. We
have so many taboos these days. It's absurd.

[Unit1]

Just do NOT marry and you're good.
Married/divorced men had it coming.