How long should I wait then before I do tell her?
Okay, so I'm dating this girl for the last two months, and I know that I'm not in love with her at the moment. The problem is that I down the line that I will fall in love with her.
We had an interesting talk the other night about love. I told her how I feel about it, (that it shouldn't be rushed and if you're going to be with someone for *forever* then what's the point of rushing in rambo style? ) and she told me that she doesn't believe in love. This was mainly to do the with the fact that she's been in a few relationships before, and she's told guys that she's loved them, but in the end when they break up, where did that so called love go? Like all the hype and excitement was so thrilling that you get caught up in the moment but when it boils down afterwards. It was pointless and the words were hollow. So she doesn't believe that true love exists.
I'm the opposite. I've been with my fair share of girls, and I've loved two of them. Ultimately yes, I know that the feelings died in the end, but that doesn't mean that they weren't there in the beginning. I think that if you love someone, you should tell them and I really want to tell her when I do fall for her, but my main point is that if she doesn't believe in love. I don't want to get rejected like " I love you" "oh really? That's great". Talk about your ultimate let down.
So am I supposed to take her words to heart? Or should I just take it on a whim and tell her when I feel it and hope for the best.
And I know I'm not supposed to ask this kinda stuff. But how long should I wait then before I do tell her?
Thanks in advance!
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I am a woman. I have been in love. I have been burned good a few times. I was dating this guy for a few months and he told me he loved me out of the blue one night. The expression on his face was dead serious. I at the time was still hurt from a previous relationship. I knew I really liked the new guy but "love" on my part had not come to mind. I was astonished that he felt that way and ignorant I laughed at him. I said no you don't. He kept telling me he did. I told him I don't believe that because he had not been together long enough. Needless to say he never told me again because he was too scared I know to hear what I had to say. A few months later I realized I loved him. But was too scared to say it because I was so "burned" and "hated" love. I denied my feelings and lost him and to this day I still say I loved him, but never had a chance to say it. My advice, wait awhile before you do say it but don't wait too long that you may never get the chance.. for in the long run you can always look back and smile knowing you TRIED and said what your heart felt. I feel so bad for dissing him when he told me. I could have handled that in a better way. but it is in the past. If you do say it, MEAN IT and let her know you MEAN IT by your actions :)
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What Guys Said 3
How long should you wait before you tell her "I love you", huh? Try this on for size: DON'T tell her, SHOW her. If you go out of your way to surprise her, do special things for her, and make her FEEL loved, then you won't ever have to tell her a word. It's been said time and time again: "Actions speak louder than words" and in a man's case. That's the route I like to take. Do little romantic things for her, snuggle with her at night during a movie, and generally show her that you like being with her in a charming and interesting way and SHE will be the one to spring the phrase on YOU. If you don't believe me, try it.
You should not be so inclined to tell a girl you love her after 2 months. Give it another 4 months or so and I think you will know at that point whether saying you love her will get a positive response.
Saying I love you doesn't make it so. You both could go on for a year loving each other very much without saying it. If you feel you must say it after 6 months and she has still be going on about how she doesn't believe in love - find a good time to tell her that you truly love her and you love her so much that its not important that she says it back, as long as she truly enjoys being with you and doesn't want that to change. If she admits to that. What else can you want?
She is probably just too scared of history repeating itself, by putting her emotions out there on the line again. I say give her as much time as she needs, and let it feel natural for her when it happens. If you just enoy her company and don't dwell on it, I think things will be ok. If she is with you, she is still hoping for love. And if you let her wounds heal I am sure she will open up to you. The hard part for you will be to not force your eagerness on her. Try saying you really enjoy spending time with her, or saying hey that was fun instead of I love you.
At one point of my life I felt like love was all bunk. Mostly I didn't believe in the "mystical" part to it. Later on in life I realized love is just a bunch of circumstances and effort and how much you enjoy spending time with someone. It's all the little things that add up in the end, so love is more of a condition than an emotion. You experience all other emotions in the condition of love. That my 2 cents anyways.