I have been dating my Fiance for about 7 years and finally propose to her in Fall 2011. Unfortunately my Fiance wanted to talk to me about some bad news. We talked about the problem, she was not satisfied with our relationship and that she didn't know what she wanted anymore. She said she wanted me to move in with her earlier this year. I couldn't move in yet because I had to take care of other things in my job and unable to move out because I couldn't afford it. Worse I couldn't work for my company anymore cause I was laid off, so that made things even more difficult for me to move out. At the moment I am staying with my family. Earlier this year my intentions were to move out by the summer but since things went down hill everything changed. My Fiance believes I am keeping her on hold and that she wanted me to move it to stay attached to me. It's like she is being impatient about all of this and all she wants is me to move it right away.
During the conversation she mentioned that she is afraid she might hurt me, she explained she might find someone else while I am with her. At that point I felt hurt and upset. I asked for the engagement ring back and told her that I do not want to be in a relationship if you are going to try to cheat on me. She cried the entire time, I told her I want to break up. It sounds to me like she wants to manipulate me or just cause I can't move in she will need to find someone else, sounds messed up...
She agreed but was hesitant and asked are you sure you want to do this, I told her to think about this deeply and we will discuss it later this week. At the moment I am waiting on her response, I do want to be with her but I did this to find out if she really wants me, also because of what she said. This is not the first time this has happened, similar scenarios happened before we were engaged.
I am not sure if I did the right thing or not, I would like to hear your opinions or what I should do... Thank you
Most Helpful Girl
It could be cold feet or she is apprehensive about your financial situation. She isn't a gold digger but this girl is engaged to you and if she is near your age (or any age) wants to make sure she won't have to support a man for the rest of her life. This is the reason for her impatience about the moving out situation. The economy is rough, both parties have to contribute financially and emotionally these days...it takes a lot of effort to make a good thing go right. I speak from experience, I have a friend in a similar situation. She is 26...the guy is 30. He is making no moves towards bettering his life so they can have a decent future together. I am in no shape or form suggesting you are like this, so please don't take it the wrong way... what I mean is it is a big deal for a woman to feel she has an equal partner and the stress isn't all on their shoulders. If you plan on getting married, these days the next step a lot of couples take is living together to see how that goes. Divorce is expensive and people want to make sure they are making a smart decision before signing that license. I don't think it has to do with her love for you. The talk about the other guy or guys could just be her way of telling you to get it together fast before she is gone. That is also a lot of pressure and something you might want to think about for your personal future. How do you feel about a girl telling you if things don't go her way she will be off to find someone else who does what she needs or wants? A relationship is 50/50, and after 7 years and an engagement ring you should be able to express your wants, desires and needs to each other in a healthy way. If not, you might decide to go your separate ways. I wish you the best of luck, keep me updated.1