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The History and Significance of Marriage and Family

Users occasionally ask who wants to get married. Some are hesitant, if not against it altogether. Some say that today’s divorce rate is making marriage obsolete, that it’s just a legal contract. Being a devout Catholic, I disagree. There is a legal aspect, but marriage is deeply sacramental for Catholics. The institution of marriage itself, though, has its roots long ago. In this article, we will look at the beginnings of monogamy, the biological and psychological origins of love and affection, and briefly at Catholic teachings on marriage. So now, we’ll let the Impressive Clergyman introduce wha’ bwings us togevah…today…

MONOGAMY

The Earth is between four to five billion years old. Archeologists estimate that of that time, humans as we know them have been around for approximately 200,000 years. According to the American Journal of Social Anthropology, monogamy, the predecessor of formal marriage, began about 20,000 years ago. The University of Tennessee-Knoxville theorizes thusly…

In early human societies, the more aggressive males had first dibs on sex with females. Those who were unable to physically compete had to find other ways to get theirs, so they started “buying” sex from the females. Men, as the hunters, were the source of food. Knoxville believes that this exchange of food for sex laid the groundwork for long-term sexual loyalty as well as traditional gender roles.

married couple
John Witte, Jr. of Emory University suggests four reasons for human social and sexual monogamy. 1) Unlike other species, we don’t have a set “mating season”. 2) We aren’t born with the ability to care for ourselves, so we require more nurturing from our parents, particularly fathers. 3) Men are more likely to be active in their children’s lives if they are certain of paternity. 4) We are aware of how our behavior affects others.

LOVE AND AFFECTION

From a scientific perspective, this gives us an idea about the beginnings of love and affection. There are two hormones that psychologists point to: dopamine and oxytocin. Both are important, but we will only briefly analyze dopamine. Dopamine, associated with pleasure, is released when you receive an award, get the job you want, or think about your crush, which is psychologically different than lust (not relevant here), writes Rick Hanson, Ph. D. in Psychology Today.
"In early human societies, the more aggressive males had first dibs on sex with females"
Between the earliest tool-making hominids and us (2.5 million years), the brain tripled in size. Children had more to learn in order to survive, so parents became more nurturing as childhood lengthened; enter oxytocin, or the “love hormone”. Oxytocin is released primarily through prolonged physical contact. It was released progressively more over time as parents held their children. Dr. Hanson writes that “to keep a vulnerable child alive for many years, we evolved strong bonds between parents and children, between mates, within extended family groups, and within bands as a whole.” He notes that more cohesive societies outcompeted others for vital resources.

MARRIAGE

As for the actual formalization of marriage? It predates recorded history, so no one knows for sure who did it or when. Some believe that the Mesopotamian Empire (modern-day Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Turkey) was the first civilization to legally recognize marriage. Some theories suggest that a contract became necessary in order to determine property boundaries and paternity as cities and populations grew (some still believe that’s all it is).

THE SACRAMENTAL SIGNIFICANCE

In the Catholic Church, marriage is a covenant between husband and wife that mirrors God’s covenant with mankind. It is an unbreakable bond that a couple enters with full knowledge and consent. They accept a lifelong commitment, but more importantly, a lifelong celebration of growing in love together, a love continuously renewed and educated by the joys and hardships of life and inspiration of one by the life of the other. You marry this person because you love him or her as he or she is and not for their sexual value.

marriage and love
The other key aspect, inseparable from union of man and wife, is openness to parenthood. In OPENNESS to parenthood, a man and a woman express their most intimate love for each other; sex is not the end in itself. This is why the Church teaches that couples should save sex for marriage and avoid contraception. However, the Church accepts natural family planning, or NFP, which means refraining from sex while the woman is most fertile. Pregnancy may still occur, but the likelihood is significantly reduced.

COMING SOON…

For those interested, be on the lookout for my upcoming three-part series on Christian sexual morality. I will discuss my background and what led me to GAG (If you read Recovering From A Bad Relationship, you know part of the story). Then, I’ll offer insights from and interpretations of Pope John Paul II’s first book, Love and Responsibility, and his later catechesis, Theology of the Body. I won’t feature these articles, so look for them in my profile from early-mid 2014. However, one thing I’ll say now: It’s nowhere near as simple as “the Bible says so.”

…’TIL DEATH (AND ARTICLE CONCLUSIONS) DO US PART.

Though some believe it’s just a legal contract, marriage is much more than that. It is the cornerstone of civilization. It encompasses and solidifies all four definitions of love as identified by the Ancient Greeks; eros, storge, philia, and agape (which will be discussed in my next article). Most importantly though, it is the only relationship to do so, making it the deepest and most intimate of all human relationships.
The History and Significance of Marriage and Family
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