Asexual and doomed to be alone forever?

[Anonymous]

I'm asexual and at first I was absolutely fine with not being in relationships.. but now I'm starting to get depressed.

I understand that it is selfish to get in a relationship, but sometimes I wish I could.

Updates

+1 y

I just found this
http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Asexual-People

[thetundrawolf]

We were all designed to love our fellow man. People who live alone even die earlier per capita than people who go out and interact with their fellow human beings.

You are asexual because you have blockades put up all around your heart. You are literally terrified to love. This can be due to several things, namely abuse, witnessing a fearful emotional event, or just wrong internal reasoning. (Which can be exacerbated by malevolent forces)

If you had a relationship with God through Jesus I would counsel you to go to the Father and ask Him for help, I only say this because it's been the only reason I have begun to overcome the walls around my own heart.

Other than that, you must get involved in some very truthful, very honest, very painful and terrifying self- introspection as to WHY you are disconnected from your fellow man.

That connection, those tender mercies, the sweetness and love other people feel for their mates is yours for the taking... But you will never experience them with a hardened, fearful heart, that is afraid of rejection, or being hurt.

Due to the inherent problems in society, it is impossible not to get hurt... it is a fact of life. But those people who are brave enough, strong enough to push through it, to swallow down the pain and become vulnerable again, and sometimes again and again, are the ones who are rewarded with true love, which is so rarely found today.

I would also like to add that people like you... Who are closed off to the sweet, tender love of one who would call you mate, are often the ones with the biggest hearts, who will make someone the most happy. If you did not have a heart to scar, you would not be the person I describe. But that heart is in there... Waiting to be freed. You must be the one who does the seeking or you will forever remain closed off and alone inside.

[Asker]

Um... look at the link I posted in the update, maybe you will understand more

[thetundrawolf]

Uh, how does that change a single word I said?

[Asker]

It has nothing do do with abuse, and being asexual is nothing that can be "fixed"... plus I'm atheist

[thetundrawolf]

Ah, so you want to remain this way. There's nothing I can do to help you.

[Asker]

You don't understand

[thetundrawolf]

I understand plenty, because I used to be the same way, and I struggle with similar issues myself sometimes. It wasn't until I began to challenge the idea that I was "Incapable" of loving someone as my life- mate that I began to tear down the walls around my heart to allow another human being's soul to reside there. Sometimes we like to put labels in front of us, to shield us and protect us from the painful consequences of living life. But in the end it will only help you to die bitter, empty, cold, and guess what else... alone. I don't know about you... but I don't want to die feeling any of those things. I do not believe anything is beyond repair, because if I believed that, I would have been hopeless.

[Asker]

I think you are confusing something, I don't feel incapable of loving someone, my heart is not closed up... I just feel that it is selfish to get in a sexless relationship

[thetundrawolf]

So you're willing to allow someone into your heart, just not into your body, and you think your hearty is fully open to truly loving someone? That's my point. You want a friend... not someone to truly love. Unfortunately many women believe they can hold a guy's heart and never surrender their bodies, selfishly, this is not true. Deny a man who loves you your body and he will look elsewhere. if you are unwilling to open your heart enough to love him physically then yes, it is very selfish to enter into a pseudo-romantic relationship.

[Asker]

You are so ignorant! You know nothing about asexuality, you just think it's an illness that needs to be cured... well it's not. It's a real thing, there's nothing wrong with me just because you can't accept reality!

[Airun_Shay]

What worked for me was to deny that type of thinking: That part of yourself that stubbornly insists that it's "selfish." It can be hard to eradicate that thought process entirely if you lack self acceptance but what you really need to do is submit to the desire for companionship & love. Ignore the thoughts that hold you back and tell yourself "despite anything i'm going to pursue it because I can." You have to indulge in a more selfish lifestyle and understand there really are no consequences for trying. It'll be worth it.

[Asker]

That sounds really tough, but it's true, I do lack self acceptance... I spend so much time thinking about others happiness that I put my own on the back burner, and now it's taking it's toll

[Airun_Shay]

I've passed up the opportunity for relationships many times because I kept telling them they deserve better or i'm unworthy. I realised I was deceiving myself and finally decided to struggle with the burden of a relationship. I don't like putting myself at risk but if you never try then nothing will change. It really is worth it to find someone to cling to and count on. Much better than standing still in time alone.

[Asker]

But I feel like I would be setting myself up to be cheated on

[Airun_Shay]

It's essential to take risks in life because if you don't you can never develop. It's better to burn out than to fade away. Don't spend your whole life asking yourself "what if," because I can think of no more depressing future than if I were still depriving myself of a natural need. I have no doubt you know hardships but the antidote is running around out there looking for you because you're somebody's antidote too. Having love is adding a beautiful filter to your life and in my opinion it's worth risking your life for.

[Asker]

You said some pretty deep things, I have a lot to think about now

[Anonymous]

I personally think it's ok if you're asexual , I mean if you're not interested in sex so be it. No one can make a person interested , I can understand you still want a relationship with another asexual person. It can happened , But in this day and age it's probably hard to find. The only thing about this is , I've heard of asexual people not being interested in sex. But in some of your comments , You mentioned not being interested in touch , hugs or any of that. To me the definition of a relationship is showing affection , It doesn't have to be sex but affection. You said you don't even like that , You may have a problem when it comes to affection. In this case you will have to meet someone who doesn't like sex or affection , That's not going to be a walk around the park.

[Asker]

Um... I mentioned in a comment that kissing, hugging and even cuddling is fine... just no sex

[Opinion Owner]

Oh ok , I'm pretty sure you will find someone with your beliefs. I've been reading about this , And it's more asexual people than most of us thought. I guess you will have to be patient.

[Asker]

lol it's not beliefs, it's a sexual orientation

[cipher42]

It's not selfish at all to want to be in a romantic relationship. It's entirely natural. Plus, there's tons of people who want to wait until marriage for sex, and yet they still manage to find people willing to date them and such. I think all you need to do is wait, and try to find the right person. There's probably resources on the internet that will allow you to find people who don't find sex essential, or who are also asexual. Just know that it's totally fine for you to desire a relationship, and that it's probably not as difficult as it seems to find one. I actually have a friend who is asexual who has been in several relationships, so I'm sure that it's possible for you too. Just be patient and keep on hoping.

[Asker]

It seems pretty tough though, I've gone on dates, but they run if I say I'm asexual

[cipher42]

Yeah, that seems rough. But like I said, my friend's been in multiple relationships, so I'm sure you can do it too if you're patient. And like others have suggested, maybe try finding an asexual dating site, or some other way to connect to other asexuals in your area.

[Asker]

I've been looking up asexual dating sites all day, and I can't find anything in my area :/

[cipher42]

Huh, that's too bad. Well then, perhaps just create a regular dating site profile but specify that you're asexual in it. That way those who message you will already know, and will message you despite that. Hopefully you'll be able to work something out and find something that works for you.

[Asker]

Thanks :)

[feral_shade]

yeah i'm the same way, lol... eternally lonely
... it's a sadistic paradox... having the need for an intimate connection... but inevitably arriving at the realization that all romances, no matter how compatible they may seem, require a certain level of physical intimacy to compliment the emotional intimacy... at least to a non-asexual partner... otherwise it'll feel to them like you're holding back and aren't really giving yourself fully to the relationship.

[Asker]

Right, this is why I'm going to look for an asexual man

[feral_shade]

well, good luck... if he has a hot asexual brother please let me know ;)

[Asker]

Lol ok

[Mesonfielde]

To be honest, that claim makes sense to me both conceptually and emotionally.

[Asker]

Right, this is why I should get with an asexual man, and not a sexual man

[aamy811]

I know asexual people who are in relationships. They like all the emotional stuff relationships allow them, but they don't care about the physical. Like my friends meg likes her boyfriend more than others but doesn't love him, and he's okay with that because he doesn't believe in love. Physically she has sec with him to make him happy but doesn't enjoy it much herself, but I think that's just a personal thing. Maybe that's the way you need to go about it

[Asker]

I would never have sex just to please someone

[aamy811]

Well she knows there are tons of things he does for her, so she does it in return. It makes her happy to see him happy. I also know other people who keep the relationship open so that he doesn't have to rely on her for sex, but still continue he relationship

[chocolatedragon]

Asexual doesn't mean you deny yourself of relationships. You're just not interested in sex with another person. You can still feel romantic and have a relationship, there's more to relationships than just sex. Check out asexual dating sitea and find yourself a partner. There's no reason to be depressed.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm going to look around and see if I could find one

[chocolatedragon]

Here's one.
https://www.asexualitic.com

[Asker]

Thanks :)

[Aizou]

You may just have a very low drive like I do
I used to believe myself asexual as well.

Just hope for the right person to come
along instead of looking for someone.

Until then, try to focus on yourself
instead of worrying about relationships. ^.^

[Asker]

I'm pretty sure I'm asexual, but yeah, I try and just focus on my life, but it gets tougher the older I get

[decemberxblue]

In my opinion these are your options:

1) Find an asexual mate.
2) Find a non-asexual mate and although it may not be of your interest, engage in sex.
3) Allow your non-asexual mate to receive sex from another woman.

In my opinion, if you're hoping to find a non Buddhist monk, non-asexual male who is willing to not have sex for the rest of his life, you may as well be waiting for it to snow in Miami.

[Asker]

I'm trying to find an asexual man...

[decemberxblue]

It sounds like that would be best for you. I have a few questions for you however, if you don't mind.

Asexuality is your sexuality, in the same way heterosexuality is mine. I imagine that the idea of engaging in sex for you is like the idea of me engaging in homosexual sex. The physical stimulation would exist, but mentally it's utterly repulsing. Is that a fair assessment?

[Asker]

Well I'm an asexual that identifies with hetero-romantic, so I'm straight, and there are also homo-romantic, and bi-romantic... but not all asexuals are repulsed by sex (like I am), it's just that the sex drive isn't there, we are romantically attracted to people, not sexually.

[decemberxblue]

What I meant was I too am repulsed by sex with homosexuals, but if they were to perform sexual acts on me the physical sensations still exist, although in my mind I'm repulsed. Is that how it would be for you? The reason I'm curious is because although asexuals don't desire it, I never knew if they would enjoy the actual physical sensations of sex.

I've read a bit on asexuals, I'm aware of some of the obvious things such as not assuming you are choosing celibacy like one of the other posters alluded to.

[Asker]

Then yeah, I believe that's how it would be

[decemberxblue]

If that's the case, I don't think many men would be discouraged by a sex positive asexual. But good luck to you finding an asexual mate. Being lonely is tough.

[DivaOniiSan]

Sweetie, you're asexual. Not aromantic. You still desire that closeness just not in a physical fashion like sex. Try dating another asexual or someone who at least understands and is willing to work with you.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'll try

[Berethor]

Yes looks like you doomed to stay alone, most men don't want an sexless relationship.

tvtropes.org/.../ImAManICantHelpIt

[lumos]

Just find an asexual guy to be with. You're not the only asexual person in the world. I'm fairly sure there are dating sites for asexuals.

[Asker]

I've been looking, but I'm not finding anyone near me

[lumos]

Keep looking, you never know. :)
Oh and, by the way, I'd just like to apologize for all these idiots on here that are questioning your asexuality. I used to think I was asexual for a really long time (from age 13 to like 17/18, idk), and it was always so difficult for me to explain to people what it was about. I don't know what happened though, I think I might have been a super late "bloomer". Not in a puberty sense but you know, sexually or something. But yeah, anyway, I kinda know what it feels like :/ so hopefully things will work out for you and you'll find a nice partner. :)

[Asker]

Thanks soooooo much!!!

[Anonymous]

You cannot tell if you are asexual unless you had sex at least once. When i was younger, until about 19 i thought I was asexual too. Never had any desire and even disgust. But then i lost my virginity and BOOM i love sex lol

[Asker]

Well maybe for you, but there is no way I would

[kheserthorpe]

Look into dating asexuals.

No, they aren't common so you will likely need to use a dating site specifically targeting them.

Best of luck to you.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm trying to find one

[UnknownXYZ]

Being asexual doesn't mean you can't have sexual relationship. Get yourself out there in the dating world!

[Asker]

I don't want to ever have sex... seriously!

[UnknownXYZ]

That's fine if you don't want to have sex. But just know that *you not wanting to have sex has nothing to do with being asexual*! As I just mentioned, if you don't want to have sex, that's fine and ok. Just don't say that you having a low libido is because you're 'asexual' because it really isn't.

[cipher42]

"But just know that *you not wanting to have sex has nothing to do with being asexual*!"

What? The definition of asexual is literally just "not feeling sexual desire". So her not wanting to have sex is completely because she is asexual. What do you even think asexual means?

[Asker]

Seriously, do you even know what asexual is?

[UnknownXYZ]

Being asexual, by definition, means that you feel *little to no* sexual attraction towards people. I read countless testimonies from articles from asexual people that *being asexual doesn't mean* you can't be sexual aroused or have a low sex drive. *Countless asexual people* say they have sex all the time with people. They *just don't experience sexual attraction*. This is why I said being asexual has nothing to do with a low sex drive because many people, *who are asexual,* have a high sex drive. It is a *big misconception* that sexual attraction and libido are the same thing but *they aren't*.

[Asker]

Well I don't know where you're getting this "research from" but most don't, most want a sexless relationship, like me

[Mesonfielde]

#antisexuality

[Asker]

I'm not antisexual! You guys should do real research, not just some half-assed google search

[UnknownXYZ]

"But most don't, most want a sexless relationship, like me..." What you are talking about there is about celibacy meaning that you are *choosing* to not have sex. As I said, you *can have sex and be asexual!*

Even the wikiHow link you sent, they even said that asexual people still engage in sexual intercourse for other reasons such as 'emotional intimacy' and 'reproduction'. This says that despite you being asexual, you can still have a relationship with involves sexual intercourse. Being asexual doesn't stop you from having sex is really all I am saying. Literally, you are just talking about the fact you have no sexual desire.

I'll would like to reference a few links:
www.psychologytoday.com/.../asexuality
https://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html
www.asexualityarchive.com/.../
www.psychologytoday.com/.../asexuals-who-are-they-and-why-are-they-important

They all say that *some, not all,* asexuals are capable of engaging in sexual activity. You may just not have no sexual desire as well as no sexual attraction but they are mutually exclusive so one can exist without the other and both can exist simultaneously.

[Asker]

But the link also says that some asexuals are sex-repulsed... go back and read ALL of it. There are other ways of intimacy that don't involve sex. I do not want children, so there is no reason for me to have sex. I don't know what you're trying to prove... all you are doing is telling me how I should have sex anyways even though I have mentioned way to many times that I don't want to, because sex is apparently more important than my feelings

[UnknownXYZ]

'All you are doing is telling me how I should have sex anyways,' no I am not. In fact, I already said, in my first comment, 'That's fine if you don't want to have sex.' And I never said anything that contradicts this.
'But the link also says that some asexuals are sex-repulsed,' yes, I already that when I said
'they are mutually exclusive' meaning some asexual people are sex-repulsed and other asexual people aren't sex repulsed.

[UnknownXYZ]

'... so there is no reason for me to have sex.' You see no reason for you to have sex, which again, is fine.
'... all you are doing is telling me how I should have sex [I never said that you should but ok] anyways even though I have mentioned way to many times that I don't want to, because is apparently more important than my feelings,' no, no, no! I would never encourage anyone to have sex if they never wanted and I never said that having sex is more important than your feelings (I don't even believe that sex is more important than anyone's feelings anyway).

[UnknownXYZ]

'I don't know what you're trying to prove...' It seems that you missed my points by far and you even stated it. I am merely stating facts, and with that I just said that being asexual doesn't mean that you can't have sexual relationships. You may be a asexual person who is sex-repulsed but that's ok like any sexual person might be sex-repulsed too. Being sex-repulsed are not just exclusive to asexual people as well.

'I understand that it is selfish to get in a relationship, but sometimes I wish I could.' Everyone has their own reasons for wanting to be in a relationship, I don't think you would be 'selfish' to think this going with your reasoning.
'... but sometimes I wish I could...' That being said, you can be in a sexless relationship so there's nothing stopping you from being in one.

[Asker]

I just don't understand why you are giving me random facts that have noting to do with me personally or this question, I know that some asexuals have sex for different, what does that have to do with me or this question? The more you kept mentioning it, the more it sounded like you were trying to convince me to do so. Because it was completely unnecessary. I still don't see the point you are trying to make by telling me random facts.

[Asker]

And as I said, yes I'm going to try and find a asexual man so we could be in a non-sexual relationship.

[UnknownXYZ]

'And as I said, yes I'm going to try and find a asexual man so we could be in a non-sexual relationship.' You never mentioned that by the way until now.
They weren't random facts, you were questioning whether I knew what asexuality meant or not. The facts I gave you were testament in proving I do.

[Panzer103]

That was a nice link. Clarifies a few things, but it does seem to leave with just looking for another asexual person. Maybe there is a dating site? There is one for everything these days.

[Asker]

I found one, but I can't find any an my area, I guess I need to look harder

[Kaynetime]

There is an asexual community site with lots of help in understanding youself

[Asker]

Yeah I think I found it

[Kaynetime]

If you find a partner with sexual needs do you think you can give him those?

[Asker]

No, I don't believe in making oneself miserable just to please someone else

[Kaynetime]

Well, i agree with the miserable part but ones sexual well being is not something to ignore. it's just something for you to think about

[Asker]

And that's why I asked this question... because I am NOT going to have sex just to please someone (it's wrong), but I still long for a relationship... that's why a lot of the people answering suggest that I look for an asexual man.

[Kaynetime]

Well, I have the male A-sexual friend whom has sex with her wife to make her happy. I'm not saying thats you or you need to be anything like him. It's just a relationship isn't that simple. He didn't need an A-sexual women to complete him but as he understood his own sexuality he understood them importance of others.

[Asker]

... and again that's why I asked this question...

[Anonymous]

Maybe try to meet other asexuals? Are you open to relationships with both genders?

If you fall for a non-asexual, would you be willing to have sex? Obviously you shouldn't if you don't want to.

[Asker]

I'm straight, and I've been looking online to try and find asexuals, but I can't find anynear me

[Opinion Owner]

Keep searching, don't get discouraged. How old are you?

[Asker]

I'm 23, and I'll keep searching

[jointhepatriarchy]

Find an asexual guy? Although a lot of them have no interest in cohabitation with a female.

[Asker]

I wouldn't even know how to go about finding one

[jointhepatriarchy]

There seems to be a lot of asexuals on GaG.

[Asker]

Well that's not helping me in person

[jointhepatriarchy]

I'm pretty sure asexuals are rare so your best bet is online dating.

[Asker]

Yeah, most likely

[Keyspirits]

But we can still always mingle even if ur an asexual right?

[Asker]

Of course!

[Keyspirits]

Than i wouldn't see a bic prob in dat if u can still pleased meh c:

[Asker]

Wait... what's your definition of mingle?

[Keyspirits]

LOL! U seriously make meh laugh xD
As in ur tingle is rdy to mingle ;D

[Asker]

I don't get it...

[Keyspirits]

U dont really know what this saying means? "Ur tingle is rdy to mingle".
It juz basically means pleasuring meh lel or be in bed together ;3

[Asker]

Well the actual term "mingle" means just chatting with people. I'm not going to do anything sexual with anyone... it's not happening

[Keyspirits]

Lol are asexual people disgusted with it? I thought they juz dont feel up to it '-'
It must be disgusting and a disturbing image for them as well..

[Asker]

look at the link I posted in the update...

[Keyspirits]

there's so much to read. I think im gonna pass out after reading a paragraph >.>

[Asker]

Well asexual means not being sexually attracted to anyone, so very little or no sex drive. It's not repressing sexual urges, we don't get get sexual urges. No, it will not change after we "find the right person", it's not an illness, it's nothing to be fixed.

[Keyspirits]

But whatbif u man really want it? U still won't submit? Lol
So its better for him to get laid elsewhere than i suppose?

[Asker]

*sigh* Seriously, that's why I asked this question, I'm not going to have sex just to please someone, do you know how wrong that is?

[Keyspirits]

If that is wrong, than is getting laid elsewhere is wrong too? If u have ur own way, than why can't i have my own way too >=

If u think ur idea is right, than i can say that mine us right as well c:

[Asker]

Well fine, if you think sex is just a one-sided thing... I would think it was supposed to be something a couple would do because they both wanted to, not just because one does. But hey, I guess I must be wrong then. I now know there are asexual men out there, if I got into a relationship, it would most likely be with an asexual man.

[Keyspirits]

Sex is important to breeding life on earth and is the most AWESOME feelings ever. What i dont get is.. why wouldn't they pleased the luv of their life even when they luv u so much but still u couldnt give them what they wanted. I feel bad if i didn't give in for her even when she clearly shows how much she luvs and adores meh. I guess asexual people have a feeling of their own and is a world apart from us >.>

[Asker]

Yeah... do research before you preach about something you know nothing about

[Keyspirits]

Im not preaching '-'
Im trying to understand it through u that why asexual feel dat way silly. If u want meh to presch, i can go all out but juz dont get mad aight?

[Asker]

It's not a feeling, it's not something we choose, we have absolutely no desire, no curiosity, no want to ever have sex. We have no sex drive... it's not something that's just going to change either, It's not a phase, we love just like others, we just don't mix lust into it like others.

[Keyspirits]

I think even if i were an asexual, i would please my wifey if she wanted to. I feel bad if i can't satisfied her needs cuz she's the luv of my life and is the only one that i can trust my life with. Even if i dont have any sex drive, as long as i can pleased her and make her happy, than im happy. I don't know why y'all asexual dont feel this way or i guess im juz wayyy too sympathetic and compassionate '-'

[Asker]

Well some will just have sex to please their SO even if they don't enjoy it at all, I personally don't agree with that... but as I said, if I got in a relationship, it would be with another asexual... so no sex wouldn't be an issue

[Keyspirits]

Haha i think ur chance of finding an asexual is perrty slim unless u do online dating =P

[Asker]

Yeah... I know... but I'm not going to have sex

[Keyspirits]

U sure u will be able to die a virgin? Lol

[Asker]

It sounds like a big deal to most people, but it's nothing to me, sex has no importance, no place in my life

[Mesonfielde]

... good luck then, I personally would somewhat expect a compromise and at least see if it works, rather than just rely on the feeling on "but sex seems icky". I understand the lack of sex drive, but the body might still be able to respond to stimulus, so it might not even be that terrible. I think celibacy is an overly extreme solution, and that would mean that you wouldn't have kids of your own anyways which is fairly disappointing long-term.

[Keyspirits]

Yeah i dont have a prob with people dying a virgin. I respect that since they were able to go on that long.

[Asker]

I'm not celibate, I'm asexual... and you don't understand that relationships work both ways, it's not a "sex is icky" feeling, I am actually really repulsed by the thought of it, to the point that I will even get sick to my stomach, I can't help it, it's just who I am. BTW, I don't want kids, if anything, I will adopt.

[Asker]

I don't know what you mean by "go on that long"

[Keyspirits]

I mean sum people can go on without having intercourse for that long which basically means their entire life. BUT! I think i can convince her to change her mind for meh xD

[Asker]

That's for you sexual people, Asexuals don't even think about sex, so there is no difficulty or anything, it's not part of our lives

[Mesonfielde]

So now the real question is, would the QA be okay with an open relationship, in which a guy has sex with other females, considering she is "unwilling to provide sexual release" to put it in such a stupid way?

[Keyspirits]

Hahha i believe i can change ur mind or snatch and steal ur panties and took it deep underground with meh where nobody can find us xD
That will change ur mind babay! ;3

[Mesonfielde]

Asexuality seriously doesn't work like that. If you have no sexual arousal and has never felt it and no event causes it, then it's unlikely that you'd be able to just change it on a whim. But it doesn't mean they *can't* have sex, and I personally would get really prissy if there was a complete total of 0% for the most vanilla and standard sexual things such as fingering and typical vaginal sex. I mean really, that's kinda part of the natural deal.

[Asker]

Ew Key, just ew... and @Mesonfielde, if it comes down to it, I probably would do that, as long as the person doesn't have any diseases

[Asker]

But yeah, as I keep saying, I'm going to try and find an asexual man

[Mesonfielde]

Yeah, if you're seriously unwilling to compromise on that front, then you probably should.

[Keyspirits]

Lol ill do anything to change ur silly mind ;P

[Mesonfielde]

Honestly, I'm confused on what makes sexuality so revolting and repulsive to an asexual individual. It's not like it's disgusting, you don't smother feces on each other or anything, that would indeed be disturbing. But you don't. So eh.

[Mesonfielde]

(although I should say antisexual at this point, as asexual just means they don't have the drive for it, being against it is antisexuality)

[Asker]

I don't know why it repulses me, if I knew, I'd tell you, and I'm not antisexual, I get that it's natural for couples to have sex, but saying that I should compromise and do it anyway, is just wrong. I'm not against sex, just me having sex when I don't desire it

[Keyspirits]

Juz dont give ur precious gift to any random guys. If for the better, give it to the luv of ur life, sumone that u can trust ur life with and live until ur dying breath.

[Asker]

Well I'm sure I won't give it to anyone

[Keyspirits]

Lol shure. Juz wait til were married and im officially the luv of ur life c:
I'd be the HAPPIEST man ever alive on planet earth x)

[Asker]

Oh you wish

[Mesonfielde]

Well, being sexually aroused at a high intensity then not getting s release causes physical and emotional distress, so if you were in a relationship with a sexual person, then neither of you would be any more right about your desires, yours of not wanting to have sex, and theirs of wanting to. Hence why I say you would eventually have to compromise in some form... Although I would like to have kids when I will be like 30 or something, so I guess that would also make the relation moot from my perspective. Asexuality is such a hassle. Sexuality is also a hassle. But you can't just undo the drive.

[Keyspirits]

Lol wish can come true u know so better watchout what ur saying ;3

[Asker]

Like I keep saying... I'm going to look for an asexual man... if you would have read the actual question, we wouldn't be having this conversation because I know this already... which is why I asked the question

[Mesonfielde]

Well after reading the question I didn't really know what to say about it hence why I kinda infiltrated Keyspirits's opinion here. If you truly do feel that way and despite all possibility of coming to a reasonable compromise with sexuality, you would still rather just ignore it, then I guess good luck with that.

[Keyspirits]

Asexual people still need luv? Lol
I thought they were alrdy happy as it is to be better off alone.-.

[Asker]

Well obviously I wouldn't be compatible with a sexual person, so there's no reason I'd get with one

[Asker]

Key, sex and love is not the same thing.. you can have sex without love, and you can love without sex

[Keyspirits]

But u still luv cuddling and feeling ur man? I thought dats quite impossible with an asexual cuz they dont feel any sexual tension or arousal to do dat sorta stuffs..

[Asker]

I cuddle with my cat, but I don't want to have sex with him

[Mesonfielde]

Your car is not physiologically compatible for that
I don't see why wouldn't want to have sex with love. That seems to be the best combination.

[Mesonfielde]

... cat*. Dammit, silly typo.

[Asker]

I didn't understand half of that

[Keyspirits]

LOL its quite funny.. i only cuddle and do that sorta stuffs when i want her but i dont think i would if i dont even feel any sexual needs or horniness to do so '-'
The mind of an asexual person is unpredictable..

[Asker]

Maybe you should do more research on asexuality, because you're obviously not willing to understand

[Keyspirits]

Thats actually how i feel. I wouldn't have any interest in maken any physical contact with a cutie if i dont even feel any sexual desired at all '-'
I'd rather keep my meat to myself lel

[Asker]

well that's you

[Keyspirits]

LOL :*

[Mesonfielde]

I said, you claim that sex without love is possible, and so is love without sex. But why would one reject the option love with sex (or sex with love), if they are obviously conceptually better choices?

[Asker]

It's not just rejecting the option, as if asexuality was a choice. Sex isn't the same for you as it is me, most people constantly have sex on the mind and have sex when horny or whatever... asexuals aren't like that, we don't get horny or have sex on the mind, a lot of us life like sex doesn't exist, because we have no desire from it.

[Asker]

For*

[Mesonfielde]

Not all asexuals oppose to sex just because they don't have an innate desire to have sex, I'll leave it at that.

[Asker]

Yeah, but most don't and I don't, I'm talking about me... I didn't ask this question to talk about what other asexuals do, yes some have sex just to please their partner, but I'm not one of those, you have that mentality that I should do that just because others do, and you're wrong.

[ThatBritishLad]

It's called making friends and having hobbies, that's how you deal with it.

[Asker]

I have tons of friends and hobbies, but I still feel alone

[ThatBritishLad]

Talk to them more. If you still feel lonely for no reason, there's nothing else you can really do about it.

[Asker]

Dude, I'm constantly around my friends

[ThatBritishLad]

Then feel less lonely! xD

[Asker]

Talk about rude

[ironman341]

nah just find someone whose personality you like, there are a lot more people out there that are asexual then you think. :)

[Anonymous]

It's subject to change... wait till u find the right guy... you will see

[Asker]

You know nothing about asexuality

[still_waiting]

https://cdn.meme.li/instances/51761097.jpg

..

[SandPlanet]

How sure are you that you're actually asexual?

[Asker]

I'm pretty sure

[SandPlanet]

You never feel any sexual desire? No arousal ever? No urges?

[Asker]

None of it

[SandPlanet]

Okay, I see. Have tried googling for dating sites for asexuals? Not sure if there are any, but you could take a look.

[Asker]

I guess I can look

[Niceguyscumlast]

What is meant by your A Sexual?

[Asker]

asexual pretty much mean a lack in sex drive, I don't want or desire to ever have sex

[Airun_Shay]

A sexual is the act of reproducing without a sexual partner. For people that would mean no desire for sex with people but not necessarily a lack of a sexuality.

[Niceguyscumlast]

Did you suffer a traumatic assault, molestation, rape, that has wired you for no desire?

[Asker]

No, I just never had any interest or desire,

[Niceguyscumlast]

Have you had a blah sex experience that turned you off no orgasm

[Asker]

I've never had sex at all

[Niceguyscumlast]

Do you have a desire for a relationship dating, intimacy, sharing your life with someone?

[GamerArtNerd]

Do you even masturbate?

[Asker]

yeah, but with intimacy, I can't see myself doing anything more than kissing/cuddling

[Asker]

GameArtNerd, I tried it once and if anything, it turned me off even more

[Mesonfielde]

Yeah, it doesn't work properly if you are not aroused, which you probably have issues with to begin with or don't even really know what it means.

[Cómoestás]

Not even a quick kiss from anyone?

[Asker]

Kissing, hugging and even cuddling is fine, just not sex

[Cómoestás]

So you're celibate

[Asker]

Um no, I have no sexual urges, no repressed sexual feelings... I'm asexual