Haha, what?
This is a crazy amount of over-thinking. Dating isn't a superiority competition between you and a girl. Man and woman, woman and man, not man versus woman.
And why wouldn't you want a woman to think you're trying to get with her? Isn't that why you're talking to her? Don't be dishonest! Make your intentions clear right up front--don't be a "nice guy" who would never dare assume to try to get with her. If you're interested in her, you're interested in her, don't hide it.
Let's say I see a girl walking down the street, she's wearing an awesome blue dress and she's got brown/reddish hair, cute accessories, and a sexy walk. I would shoot her some eye contact, if she breaks eye contact up, won't bother saying anything to her; if down, I'm talking to her immediately. And I am going to give her a genuine compliment, what I really think right then and there--maybe I'll compliment her walk if she seems the bold type, or her dress if she's seems a touch more reserved (doesn't really matter, just say what is genuine). I'm going to make it clear right up front I think she's cute and try to get a date/number right then and there.
She knows what I'm about, and she knows the compliment is genuine, that I'm interested in her--maybe she'll be interested, maybe she won't, but I will not have tried to establish a deceitful friendship hoping to get in her pants at some point, that I'm some "nice guy" who would never dare assume to try to get with her. Saves us both time and emotional energy, and establishes honest communication right from the start. It is the very opposite of desperate.
I think you need to view this more as a game, something that's fun--learn to find joy in saying nice things to women. There's a definite touch of resentment of women in the way you speak, but really, you can overcome this really quickly by turning complimenting girls into just a fun, genuine thing to do and not worrying if they say yes or no to your interest.
Depends on how you say those compliments. If you go up to her and stand in front and say something like this "Hey, pssst, you're beautiful" with a creepy face, then yes, she's gonna think you're desperate to get in her pants, but if you're relaxed, cool and confident, and you go to her, look her in the eyes 1-2 seconds and then say "You're pretty/beautiful", then she'll most likely appreciate the compliment.
Obviously not all girls are gonna be nice about it, there are some bitches that will think you're desperate, but after all, do you really wanna be with that type of girl?
I like compliments however they are not always conversation starters and some guys fail to realise that.
If you want to start a conversation with her, then have a conversation, but if you just want to stand there and tell her how beautiful she is then do that but dont expect her to know how to respond.
some guys will say "You are so beautiful" "Nice smile" "You dress well" and so on and then all the girl can say back is "Thank You" Then the guy will still keep complimenting her and still all she can say is "Thank You".
I mean there is really nothing else for her to say but "Thank You" becasue you did not exactly set her up to have a conversation with you.
guys fail to realise that when you put someone on the spot like that, it can make someone feel uncomfortable, especially when there is no other way for them to respond but you still keep coming at them.
Conversations just dont work like that. A good way to get a person talking is to ask open-ended questions and then the person will be able to answer your questions and you two can start feeding off of each other and throwing a compliment in there every now and then. But continous compliments can make a person speechless.
so its not that girls dont like compliments, its the actual feeling that they are being put on the spot and not having anything else to say that they dont like.
really its the same way for anyone that you want to have a conversation with.
Say you like to play basketball and you find out that some other guy likes to play basketball too so you would like to hangout with him and play some basketball. Do you just go up to him and say A: "Hey man! You have a really nice car" "I like your shoes" "thats a nice phone you have" ? or do you go up to him and say B: "Hey man! I heard that you like to play basketball, How good are you?"
which approach is least likely to scare the guy away and get him talking to you about basketball?
there is not supposed to be any snarkiness in this response and it is not intended to be offensive i swear. but it's guys like you who don't get the girls because you aren't doing it right! you are over thinking it! some girls are conceited bitches, sure, but i love when i get compliments from anyone, girl or guy (unless it's like a super creepy guy on the street). i mean, if giving a compliment is unnatural to you, don't try to force yourself to give one. but if you have something genuine you want to compliment a girl about then do it! if she doesn't appreciate it and thinks you're desperate then it's her problem not yours. there are plenty of girls who don't have "boosted" egos and they will love getting compliments. so next time, do what comes naturally. don't get all bitter and stop yourself from telling a girl she's attractive just because you assume she gets told that too much! you're setting yourself up for failure because you're probably then projecting this bitterness onto her without realizing it. it's silly.
I don't agree. I've given guys compliments and some have gotten the impression that I was trying to get with them but that doesn't stop me from still giving out compliments. I don't know of any chicks who will absolutely despise of a guy giving them a compliment. Shame if there are any. If a man has given me a compliment, I don't assume that he desperately wants me. That's silly for anyone to think that. You'd better be the hottest shit walking this Earth to even come close to thinking that lmao. Long story short, complimenting a chick isn't lame. Some react to it much more different than others. The right ones will appreciate that you took time out of your day to notice and then carry on.
It depends on how you compliment and what you compliment on. If you just start talking about how you like certain part of a woman''s body and want to drink her batch water now that is thirsty but genuinely saying that someone has a nice smile or pretty eyes is not desperate.
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Some things are OK to compliment on. They will things that are the result of some effort or achievement. "I like your choice of boots and the colour" or "You've done your hair well" is OK.
Never compliment on things beyond her control. Don't just say "You look so beautiful", because it will backfire on you.
Well some girls are sweet, and humble, and appreciate a compliment. But I do agree most Western women already have over-inflated egos.
yea its true if you do it so frequently. yet, when the conversation goes into it or it is the right time why wouldn't you? do not try to be opposite of your insecurities, eventually you may look like someone you don't want to
The thing is that u have NO IDEA how she will react to a compliment.
Don't overthink it... if u want to compliment her as a conversation starter, go for it, and expect ANY reaction to ensue.
I appreciate compliments, unless they are of sexual nature. I don't appreciate sexual "compliments" from anyone else except from my bf.
perhaps it depends on the nature of the compliment... and who it is coming from.
Depends if its genuine or if he's just trying to kiss her ass to have sex with him
yeah... I think that any guy who compliments me wants to get in my pants! duh!
I compliment women. It works for me.
I don't look thirsty, I AM thirsty.
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