If he doesn't answer his phone or text all night is he cheating?

He said he was asleep and didn't hear the phone ring. I called repeatedly and the phone kept going straight to voicemail after a while the phone rang for some time then vm. He calls this morning and ask why I am bugging out, he only received 1 missed call and asked if I thought he was with another female? Uhhh YES I do think he was with another female. He said he was home asleep. Then instead of talking things out with me, he hung up on me because he wanted to eat breakfast? Said he was frustrated and that if I think he was with another female that I don't know him very well. Earlier in the week he accused me of being with another man and I found that odd. I know that is behavior of someone who is usually being untrue. I was totally hurt and I don't feel like that is the behavior of a boyfriend who loves me or is faithful to me. I am really just crushed over how I've been treated and that he would hurt me like that instead of wanting to resolve things. The thought of him sleeping around just skeeves me out and its been a feeling that I've been unable to shake lately. Help! Right now I am just so angry. I don't feel like I deserve this at all.


Most Helpful Guy

  • A relationships foundation is built on ALOT of trust and honesty. From what I'am hearing and from my point of few from past experiences is 1) calling and texting excessively is quite annoying and seems alittle desperate 2) being accused of sleeping with someone else is hurtful which in return makes people resent you when you haven't done anything wrong. From his point of view I wouldn't want to talk about it at all, I would of said the same thing "if you think I was with someone else then you don't know me very well" and leave it at that. If he hasn't done anything wrong there is no need for further talk about the subject. And yes sometimes if they are guilty of cheating they may accuse you of cheating as well just to ease their minds but in this case I don't think he was serious he might of just wanted you to know how it feels to be accused of something you haven't done which is sometimes childish but people deal with it differently. You both seem to have some trust issues going on here id work on that first before putting the blame just on him. This isn't fully his fault you both equally contributed to this mess so its time to stop pointing fingers and resolves this. My ex never trusted me a couple of examples are: I came to visit my mom but she wasnt home so I cuddled up to cats and fell asleep for 3 hours and I came home and automatically I was out with someone else. Another time I was at a restaurant called Kelsey's for a work meeting and I explained this to her but she thought I was at a girl named Kelsey's house for hours and when I came home she wouldn't even let me touch her. Another time I went for a walk gone probably an hour and when I came home she told me pull down your pants before I showered and asked I want to smell your penis to see if you were with another girl...another time I was out with my mom and her friend well her friend had a hair on her sweater so I took it off not knowing it would become a disaster of a night when I got home.. the hair got stuck in my ring and she freaked out.. wouldn't listen to word I had to say just started accusing me of this and that. and the last time was she was at a friends drinking everyone was drinking there and I called her to make sure she was safe and told her to just stay the night and right away .. ooo whos there with you? I know someone is there that's why you don't want me to come home blah blah.. so take it from me things can get pretty ugly when two people don't communicate properly or one of them is just really insecure about themself.. so I hope everything works out.. in my case it didn't as you can clearly read this girl had major issues.


What Guys Said 7

  • You might re-read your post and notice that you're on the edge of frothing. And if you come off this way to this forum then he might be ignoring you out of self preservation. Really. Sorry.

    Sometimes people just need their own space and harassing calls and texts are not going to help matters. He 'could' be sleeping or chilling or doing something where he wasn't devoting his complete attention to his leash, ahem, cell phone.

    And that is not addressing the obvious ... that if you guys are both making infidelity accusations then your relationship might not be as solid as you'd like. As another Answer states we all deserve to be loved and trusted as faithful until and unless facts should prove otherwise. Doubting him paints him guilty before you've learned anything.

    Slow down. Let the anger subside and remember that even husbands and wives deserve alone space periodically.

    Good luck.

  • When I have a Girlfriend I like a lot, I always answer the phone for her. If I'm sleeping I would still wake up to answer the phone. If my Girlfriend is in need of something in the middle of the night, I am going to be there for her... I guess it all depends on how far along your relationship is.. If you love each other, then you should expect him to be there for you, that includes answering the phone. If he is irresponsible and leaves his phone in random places, that either says he isn't concerned if you call and might need something, or he just might have honestly left his phone somewhere and didn't hear it. Either that or what the other guys here said. You might be making him feel smothered.

    Also, It seems like you guys have a somewhat unhealthy relationship. If you are both accusing each other of cheating, there is definitely some tension between you. Perhaps you are with the wrong guy? Maybe you need to work out some problems, maybe he is mad at you and that's why he didn't answer... If you two don't straighten this all out soon, I'd say it's not a very satisfying relationship, and maybe you should look into other options..

  • If I were him I would have felt harassed and very bugged by so many calls throughout the night. I would have also felt very defensive about the ear chewing in the morning and would have and avoided you for a while after and maybe even broken up with you.

    He may have been cheating. I am not saying he was not. And if he was, he is gone either way and you would be better off to see him go. Just be careful you are not needlessly driving him away.

    I used to have a girlfriend that would make similar kinds of calls to me at very inconvenient times and chew my ear off to soothe her insecurities or vent her frustrations. I soon decided she was not the girl for me.

  • I don't know all the details but it sounds like you might be smothering him, and if you are their might be a chance that he is cheating on you. I mean if you wanted to be alone for a little while and someone kept bothering you, wouldn't you want to find comfort elsewhere. I'm not saying that would give him the right to cheat but you getting angry at him won't help the situation at all. The best thing to do would be to approach him calmly and show him that you still love him and whatever you do don't get angry because that will drive him further away.

  • Yes I would guess that he is cheating on you because he tried to turn it on you. Also I think that now you asked him he will probably avoid you more and try not to look you directly in the eyes.

    My advice is just to break up with him regardless because he really doesn't seem like he cares that much about you.

  • this is short and sweet by mancode he's used every calsic escuse to cheat but if you can trust him like true love should be based on you should belive that he didn't cheat on you.


What Girls Said 7

  • Hrmm...was there a reason you were calling and texting him all night? Do you do this a lot? I can't say whether he is cheating or not, but calling that much through the night does seem excessive. He's not going to pick up whether he's with someone or alone and asleep or just needs some time to himself.

    It doesn't seem like a good thing though that both of you are accusing the other of cheating without any real reason to. Not answering his phone all night isn't a sign of cheating...some people use that time to sleep ;) Whatever his reason for accusing you were probably not all to strong either.

    Without trust, what is there?

  • You cannot just justify that flat out cheating (accusation about you cheating). He may have a reason for saying that to you, have you asked him why he said that?

    Now, he must be really tired so didn't hear your phone calls. It's not like he doesn't call you back. You have to trust him. Man need to be trusted if not then he will be frustrated and act cold towards you. Calm yourself first, then say sorry for not trusting him then talk to him slowly that you don't like it when he does not pick up the phone. If you act calm and all that, he will listen to what you actually going to say.

  • mmm I'm not saying he IS cheating on you, but to me.. I think he is.. because his acting so strange.. if I was you, I would just leave him until he starts talking to me. Don't give in so easily. You don't deserve to be treated like this. You didn't do anything wrong.. its him that didn't appreciate you from the start. wait and see what happens. don't contact him first.. if it didn't work out then you just have to move on.. you deserve to be treated like a princess :)

  • when I accused my boyfriend of cheating we talked it out calmly. I feel like that's the only mistake he made here. I don't think just because he didn't answer his phone that's he's cheating. he couldve very well been asleep. Plenty of times as well I've had people say "umm I called you 4 times" but meanwhile my phone doesn't even show any missed calls.

  • if you guys don't get to the bottom of this you might find it not working out anymore . you both should have trust for each other and make sure that its always strong. you shold talk bout it sometimes, maybe make up scences so you guys know how to handle it.if he is not down for that then tell him your not down for him untill he shapes up

  • I'm dating this guy. And at the beginning everything was fine. He always texted and called me but after a couple days he's been so distant. Its always been "I'm too busy" or "im too tired" but he's been talking to me even what he says is true. He'd text call me even if he had to get up early the next morning. What should I do?

  • What you are saying does sound slightly suspicious but the fact is you don't have any cold hard proof that he is cheating on you. You just have convinced yourself that he is cheating on you and are overlooking things trying to confirm your suspicions. Unless he does more things like this just try to forget about it, you have to trust each other to be in a relationship together.