The 36 Questions That Lead to Love: Guaranteeing Bliss Right Out of the Gate?

[libertynap]

Falling in love is pretty damn easy when both people already expressed a mutual attraction and desire for one another. But is it possible for complete strangers to answer a series of in-depth questions a surefire way to achieve lasting attraction…and love? This also includes a ridiculous amount of eye contact.

This New York Times article claims that just a few minutes (a maximum of 4 minutes, since anything less than 2 supposedly won’t lead to anything (I’m not sure how that works)) of eye contact and a carefully crafted list of 36 questions can be the formula for newfound intimacy and can lead to love. It relates experiences, feelings, and beliefs… which will of course bring two people closer together no matter who they are to each other. Sure, questions like take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible (is 4 a magic number now?) and how do you feel about your relationship with your mother? will make for an interesting conversation all around. I don’t consider any one of these questions to be invasive at all, even if I were answer them to a random dude off the street. Is it truly possible for romance to spark with this procedure that lasts approximately 45 minutes to an hour?

I highly doubt that it’ll lead to “lasting love” like the title suggests. Maybe a lifelong friendship at most, depending on how the duo hit it off. However, just about everyone can agree that having an honest, insightful and emotionally vulnerable conversation with anyone will bring affinity and will create a more personal atmosphere. It won’t necessarily pave a path to romance but will create an endear friendship. A brother and sister can answer every single one of these questions and not fall in love (I mean, if it happens, I guess it happens…).

A construction worker and a Starbucks barista who pass by each other at work everyday can answer these questions and not fall in love. In my opinion, these are better off as ice breaker questions for something like an ice cream social and nothing more. If I were to organize a speed-dating event, I’d hand out these questions on a note card. It’s not a recipe for romance. Buut, who knows. Anything is possible.

I agree with the article that eye contact is vital and plays a huge role. It’s probably even more powerful than these (kind of shitty) questions. There’s something alluring and exciting about staring into someone’s eyes, especially if it’s spontaneous (but not in this case, though). This reminds me of a time years ago when I read that when someone stares in your eyes for 6 seconds it either means that they want to kill you or have sex with you… and I tried to stare at everyone I hated and was attracted to for exactly 6 seconds (I don't know what the hell I was thinking). Bogus! For most people—okay, everyone—prolonged eye contact with a complete stranger is easy when it’s with someone that appeals to them, usually physically. If not, then it’s just creepy. That can be a huge factor. And the way some people “stare” can be unnerving and be just as uncomfortable as answering very personal questions, like, “what dat mouf do?"

This procedure won’t guarantee that two random people will end up holding hands or even exchanging numbers after just an hour of talking. (FYI, I haven't looked into the studies/experiments conducted over this.) There’s a good chance they still won’t like each other more than they initially met. On another note, these same questions are featured on other reputable websites, and at least some of them have the decency to mention that it won’t lead to romance, but will deepen the friendship among family and friends.

[Spiorad_Aisce]

I am surprised the NYT has stooped this level, this sounds like something you would read in a young teens magazine (I haven't read questions but just basic premise) - It sounds like you stare in you crush's (sorry significant other's) eyes for 4 minutes and ask 36 questions - If he answers 27 the same as you, he is REALLY into you and you are going to have lots of babies.

[Phoenix98]

LOL

New York Times

Well that's all I had to see to already know that the article is bullshit, that and the fact that falling in love and staying in love requires a hell of a lot more then asking 36 questions, know that from experience,.

[SugaryLips]

cool!