Girls, My boyfriend changed his facebook password after I went on it, why?

[haileybabyxo]

We've been in a tough spot recently. He actually moved out of my place because he needs to get his life on track which is great. However recently, on facebook, he added this girl from highschool. I asked about her because i was curious and he said she works with his mom, and its nothing to worry about at all. I asked if he was talking to her at that second and he LIED to me. He said no but i legit had proof that they were talking. I was on His fb and saw it. He didn't believe i had proof and i had finally said "i have your facebook password". He got instantly mad and said he can't trust me and all that. Now they were talking casually, nothing bad. But he did lie to me then ended up changing his facebook password. Is that shady or not? Being a girlfriend of a year, i feel, if its causing suspicion, id like to look for myself to feel okay. What ever happened to the "go through my fb & phone. I have nothing to hide" this seems, so shady to me that he HAD to change his password and, if he really has nothing to hide who cares that i was on his FB.

[theccanyon]

Sorry, but everything you wrote points to him white lying because he knew you would blow it out of proportion if he told you the truth. Even from one short post, I can tell he lied because you would go on a witch hunt. And he was right, because:

1) you noticed and were bothered by the fact that he added a female on fb, so much so that
2) you had him to explain WHY he added her and WHO she was to him. Then
3) when he said they were just friends, you still demanded to know if they were msging atm. Why did you bother asking if you weren't going to accept no for an answer? And if you just were going to
4) snoop on his fb anyway. When you found nothing but "casual" conversation, instead of being relieved,
4) you tried to trap him by lying yourself - by ommission - instead of sitting down to speak like adults.
5) You're more concerned with his "shady" behavior than you are with the fact that HE LOST ALL TRUST IN YOU and that HE MIGHT BREAK UP WITH YOU. Isn't keeping him the reason you did this in the first place?

If the only thing you're worried about is WHY he "lied", rest easy - as you plainly read, he's not cheating on you. He just didn't want to deal with your self-serving bullshit. The fact that you show no concern over losing the trust of the one you (claim to) love shows where your heart really lies. Pun intended.

[theccanyon]

Look, I'm sorry, that was blunt of me. I just noticed that you list your age at 18, which explains your insecurity. At that age, deep down inside, I didn't trust any of my boyfriends, either, and had such low self esteem that I thought "why would they love me when they could do better?" my paranoia probably led me to do crazier shit than what you did here. Message me if you'd like to hear my stories - my shamelessness back in the day may make you feel better about this. Lol!

But seriously, though, I was overly harsh. I'm sorry. Your heart does lie with him, but your insecurity makes you focus on what could be wrong, not What is right. I noticed that you didn't say anything else about him other than he lied. I hope this is a sign that your relationship on a whole is going well.

I hope this works out for you. Best wishes, and sorry again for being a bitch.

[Poppykate]

Unfortunately, I think that you are going to lose this one. Men do not want to lose their freedom. (Actually so do women). and you are taking every little bit of freedom he has. He is going to say to himself ' I am young, I don't need this shit. I am moving out and on with my life'. As harsh as this may seem, I don't want you to not see what you are doing wrong, and ruin a relationship that could be good. You could save this relationship, but you would need to give him space, and learn to trust him. That's what relationships are all about.

[CheeseFreak]

He probably changed it and lied because he feels you might overreact when you see that he talks to girls (as friends). He shouldn't have lied to you, but maybe he did because he feels you're paranoid or easily jealous. You should tell him that you're sorry that you went snooping into his facebook, but he should also apologize for lying. Let him know that you trust him around other females and that he doesn't need to feel the need to lie to you about his female friends because you're cool with it.

[CheeseFreak]

Also he changed it because you invaded his privacy. Even though he lied, two wrongs don't make a right.

[theccanyon]

Your first sentence says it all. Even op found there was no flirty chatter. End of story.

[CheeseFreak]

Well I'm glad you understand. It's partly your fault too that made him lie. I think you know what you have to do.

[theccanyon]

You talkin to me? *confused*

[CheeseFreak]

Nah to Santa. Well yeah you lol

[SilenRose]

I can see the forum is split on this. At one side your boyfriend did lie to you when you asked if he was talking to this new girl. On the other side you didn't trust him and went into his FB and found out the truth.

Your boyfriend says you don't trust him which is true and he can't trust you because he possibly believes by telling you that he is talking to the girl will get blown out of proportion. If you believe you aren't doing anything wrong by talking to someone else then say it no matter what you're SO might think because it will get worse when they find out by themselves.

Here's the thing. There is no trust in this relationship on both sides. It makes me think he stepped out on you before or his behavior has changed which makes you highly suspicious of him. I know you've heard this before but if there is no trust then you guys shouldn't be together. :/

[Unersheep]

He has the right to keep his conversations with people to himself. He doesn't have to share them with you. I totally understand that you would feel better if you could check on him, especially if YOU are an open book, but he doesn't HAVE too. I do think it's a bit shady that he felt he had to lie to you about it if they were just talking casually, but I also don't think its uncommon for a guy to lie in this situation. He probably just didn't want you to freak out or anything. I wish guys would realize that we would be less likely to freak out if they WERE honest with us.

[theccanyon]

Not necessarily. She found nothing flirtatious being said and yet she focused on the fact that he did, not the fact that he was loyal.

[whowatwyn]

First of all you need to let the man have his privacy. Secondly, and you aren't trusting enough of him clearly. If you can't trust him enough to just let him be. And I know exactly how you feel about the "nothing to hide" thing but honestly people DO need some level of privacy in their relationship.
As a lady and a very open person, I never have anything to hide. But if my s/o went and did what you did I would be highly upset and I would change my password immediately. It's not his business honestly, but if he asked me about anybody I would be truthful with him and expect him to believe me.
And so what if they were talking at that moment. It's a girl from highschool, people do like to catch up occasionally. It wasn't really a big lie. Yes it's still a lie but you even said they were harmlessly talking.
If you can't trust your partner, don't be with him. You gotta go soul searching and find some security within yourself.

[barbiepooh]

One thing I learned is if you go searching for something you may just find what you looking for... don't get mad over facebook because guys gonna lie about it anyway... get a man they wayyyy better

[9mfeo]

Because you invaded his privacy after he trusted you. Good luck getting him to trust you again.

[HeatherLopez]

Yep!

[9mfeo]

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he dumped you. You can't come back from such a violation of trust like that.

[StephanieSpoiler]

Facebook kills so many relationships. And spying is the biggest sub division among them...

[Candy12345]

Well you should break up with him because he lied to you and is obviously going to still keep talking to her.

[FreyaDiermayr]

what he did was shady, and what you did is also very shady.

[Anonymous]

If you feel insacure I wouldn't stay. He should have no issue with you having the password.

[StephanieSpoiler]

Except he should have an issue. You looking through his profile is you telling him you don't trust him.

[Anonymous]

So you don't spy on him...