Search Results: do you ever feel like breaking down

Prior to this job, I worked in financial aid for ~2 years. That was my 1st time ever working in the field but before that job I was an academic advisor. Early on during training when I was on a call with a trainer, I ended up breaking down crying bc I felt overwhelmed. I ended up pushing through & the trainers let my new team know that I was doing well. Eventually ended up having higher metrics compared to a lot of people on my team. Anxiety was always there but I got *better*, I was miserable at that job though due to the workload.

Now I’m in my 3rd week working for another school remotely in FA again, this is a school I’ve been trying to get in at for almost as long as I was at my other job (mostly bc of pay). I’m training by myself with the manager & I like her so far, she keeps telling me that I’m doing a good job (I’m not asking) & she felt the need to let the whole team know that I’m doing good/picking up fast when I was introduced to them earlier this week. This job is more in depth vs the last job & she even told me that they only hire people with experience now bc of how much there is to it. When she first taught me something new, it took a few tries & I picked it up, then she teaches me something else & I get it the first try.

I made my first 2 calls today & I felt shaky, she also said nicely that the first few calls will feel like that/ it was obvious it was one of my first calls but I did a good job. I felt like a wreck + then she gave me another assignment of something I caught onto before but I ended up getting stuck this time. I was obv frustrated & it was right before I was done for the day but I just couldn’t think straight bc I felt so upset with my progress.

Am I being too hard on myself? Am I right to believe this might not be a good fit for me? I’ve been so upset since I clocked out & am dreading tomorrow.

🥺 yesterday I ended up telling my boyfriend that I felt something was missing in this relationship and he’s the type of person to want to change to please you. But I was trying to tell him I don’t want him always changing for me and I felt it would be best if we would see other people who matched each other’s energy. He sounded so down and He said he’d prefer if we could talk about this in person and not on a call. So we haven’t really broken up yet. He can fill the rift because I can but he still wants us to go back to how we were. But then he made a statement about how much he loves me 🥺 and he knows sooner or later he’d have to face the reality of loosing me. I don’t know why I felt so bad when he said that. Now I feel guilty for the pain He’s having 🥺 and I was doing this because I thought that’s the best for us and trying to say it in the least hurtful way