My boyfriend won't let me break up with him even though our relationship is destroying my mental health?

[victoriaxoxo]

I wrote about this guy in quite a few of my recents. Me and him have dated previously for 2 years but then broke it off for 4. I had the hardest time getting over him and I wasn't able to. I struggled so much I ended up suicidal and on antidepressants. I'm not usually like this in relationships at all but he is someone I fell in love with so it really wrecked me.

Me and him met up and we decided to give it another shot. I was very reluctant to give it another chance (admitting to being suicidal and on antidepressants, which he never knew about). He just said it will be fine and that he won't ever do anything to hurt me. Fast forward to 8 months later and he has hurt me so many times. I keep catching him red handed in lies. For example, he used to be involved in commenting on racist blogs but he had told me that he cut that behaviour out a long time ago. One day he left himself logged onto my laptop and I saw his browsing history. Not only did he visit those blogs, he was still active on them after we got back together. When confronted, he tried to lie until I cornered him.

Many of these arguments later and I found myself in a dark place mentally. I had a break down and was having suicidal thoughts, I tried to call him but he was out clubbing with his friend and wouldn't step out to talk. He said his friend told him that if he leaves he won't be going out with him again. Not wanting to lose his friend (someone he knows for way less time than me), he decided to stay in the club.

I did something stupid and I took a bunch of sleeping pills (all that I could find). Luckily I survived (obvs) but the realisation of how toxic our relationship got has really shaken me. I decided to confront my boyfriend and tell him what happened. Without even skipping a beat, he said 'well regardless, we're not breaking up, I'm not letting you leave'.

In all honesty I feel scared, it almost feels like the risk of me dying is inconsequential to him. I don't know how to get away.

[Anonymous]

It is not okay for your boyfriend to refuse to let you break up with him, and it is not his decision to make. Your mental health and well-being should always come first, and it is not healthy for you to stay in a relationship that is causing you harm.

It is important to prioritize your own safety and to seek help and support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals. You may want to consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support in navigating this situation and finding ways to prioritize your own mental health and well-being.

It is also important to set boundaries with your boyfriend and to communicate your needs and feelings in a clear and assertive manner. You have the right to end a relationship that is not healthy or fulfilling for you, and it is not okay for your boyfriend to try to control or manipulate you into staying.

Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and to prioritize your own mental health and well-being above all else. If you feel unsafe or unsure about how to proceed, consider reaching out to a trusted friend or professional for support and guidance.

If you feel that you are in immediate danger or have been the victim of a crime, it is important to call the police or emergency services for help. They can provide assistance and support in situations of danger, violence, or criminal activity.

If you are considering calling the police in the context of your relationship, it is important to consider your safety and well-being. If you feel that you are in danger or have been the victim of abuse, it can be helpful to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional for support and guidance.

Remember that you have the right to prioritize your own safety and well-being, and to seek help and support if needed. If you are unsure about how to proceed, consider reaching out to a professional counselor or therapist who can provide guidance and support in navigating this situation.

[BCRanger10]

You don't need his approval to end the relationship. If this relationship is bad for you, then you need to leave it.

If it's to the point that he's saying he "won't let you leave", it might even be worth to try talking with the police. Or block his phone number and block him on all social media and move to a different place.

[Agape93]

Not let you? Hon, he doesn't need to consent to it. Tell him you're done, and walk away.

[WowwGirl]

Just start seeing someone else he will catch on

[WowwGirl]

Thank u

[Guy13]

Call the police and see what happens. You told him to leave you alone but he has not.

[motownplayer2000]

To be honest, you are doing that to yourself. He isn’t putting a guy to your head ,
( however, I would talk to someone about it if he does get violent) he doesn’t sound like a stable guy at all. And if he is lying and you are staying with him and putting up with it you are enabling him to continue being and doing what he does. With no consequences. You first need to get help to fix your mental state. You should not let anyone influence you or have that kind of power over you even in a relationship. So you need to fix that. But he can’t do to keep you in it, if he did care about that he would respect your wishes. It’s up to you to change your path. The way your life ends up.

[victoriaxoxo]

You hit the nail on the head with saying that he's unstable and controlling. I ended up finding out more messed up things about him including that he's a cheater and he wanks off at gore (of dead/decapitated women). I fully grasp how messed up and dangerous the situation was and now have left the dude (physically and emotionally). In hindsight, it should've been so obvious but I was 'under the influence', so to speak. But yes like you said, he was fully power tripping over the way he had a hold on me. Thanks!

[motownplayer2000]

Good now it’s not over yet.. make sure you do shut off all communication with him. I don’t trust men like that. If you feel like you are safe after leaving him, cool. But you need to have a couple of contingency plans in case he does try to do something crazy. Like always carrying a weapon for a little while until you know he has also moved on, know where you can strike him to injure him long enough to get away. Know who to contact. If you have an iPhone share your location with a group of friends you trust and let them know if you are going out alone, tell them periodically check on me make sure nothing crazy happens. You have an Apple Watch or whatever device. Check and practice how you can use that to alert the authorities quietly so it doesn’t alarm him and throw your devices out the window.. I think about this stuff because I have a daughter and I know this world is a ridiculous place.. so young girls like yourself need to be safe and have a plan.

[victoriaxoxo]

Yh I am no longer going out late at night and I always check behind me. I am also going to move house. Whilst I think he mainly wanted to scare me/mess me up emotionally, since he did threaten to stalk me, I never know. I looped all my friends and family in and everyone knows. Hopefully he will move on quickly. Thanks for the good advice!

[RHK36]

Didn't read none of that because it really doesn't matter. You're a grown ass person, you don't need permission. Move forward from whatever relationship you're trying to get out of and if not don't complain.

Your refusal and unwilling to just remove yourself from the equation means you don't want to leave. Actions speak louder than words, if you want out then be out.

[Anonymous]

do what i did separate yourself emotionally from someone slowly little at a time and remember all the bad stuff that person did to you. I did the whole pill thing, tried electrocuting myself, cutting forearms still have scars, isopropyl alcohol, even had a bb g u n in my mouth safety off ready to pull the trigger she caused me so much hell so much pain and suffering all her cheating i got tired of it

[In_Trance]

smh... this is retarded. Make a decision and move on.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Do you think you'd be able to give him up now

[EaterPeter]

You don't need his permission.

[Alex8736]

block all contact