My boyfriend won’t let me repair stuff around the house?

[victoriaxoxo]

Me and him both are quite technical, working in IT we very much enjoy the same things. I particularly enjoy repairing things around the house esp. electronics. However since moving in to live with him I get to do none of what I like because he always rushes to do it for me. At first I thought it’s just him trying to be helpful but then at some point I raised the issue that I want to do these things too because they’re fun but he didn’t care or listen. Whenever I’m handling some electronics item, he always feels the need to butt in and instruct me even if he has no idea on what he’s doing. I find it very belittling considering that I’m an IT specialist at one of the biggest companies in the world, I can easily beat him in any science or maths but he still refuses to stop treating me like I’m some lost housewife who doesn’t know how to operate an on and off switch.

It has gotten to a point where I am considering breaking up with him. And I know that sounds extreme but I happened to have grown up in an extremely sexist household. It was so bad with my father that twice he broke his laptop over his knee when he found out that I fixed it. It certainly pokes at a wound when I see my partner edging on similar behaviour. And yes I voiced my concerns with him very clearly but nothing has changed.

[caring__1]

Apparently, he needs to prove his manhood by showing you all he can do. Maybe he doesn't feel you appreciate what he does. Never compete with him, as it appears his insecurity will devastate him. Sometimes guys will hear the words, but they make no sense. Maybe he needs to be shown, but before that, ask him to explain what he feels you feel when he refuses to let you do the things you enjoy. We're more likely to absorb the content when we are doing the talking than when we're being talked at.

If he needs to experience it on the receiving end, here are some things you could do.
Start laying out his clothes for the next day before going to sleep. Cut his food in little pieces, so he doesn't choke. Offer to eat his dessert, so he doesn't have to. When he wants to relax by playing video games, suggest you play instead of him. Always get in the driver's seat when the two of you go anywhere. When he suggests sex, say "That's OK... I can handle it myself."

[OlderAndWiser]

Many men derive their ego strength by demonstrating competence, and quite often that arises from being the handyman. You are renting him the opportunity to prove his value to you.

That is the inside on this aspect of guys behavior.

[volleyball_bigirl]

Just my opinion but maybe he feels threatened by your knowledge of things
Some guys want to be Mr. fix it even if they have no clue what they’re doing

[Misterwolf]

If other parts of the relationship are good, then be persistent. Give him the opportunity to change, and give you some space. You're in his home, so that is a dynamic change. If you're important to him, he will not want to lose you. If he continues to belittle you, and keep tabs on everything you do there... then you can break his heart.

[WindAtMyBack]

He should let you fix things. I don't like the wording of that. He doesn't need to "let" you do things because you don't need his permission. If you are doing it yourself, he needs to butt out.

My own view is that I will fix anything for my SO, but she needs to make some effort to do things herself. I don't want to be with someone who is helpless.

[ohshee]

For me I think it's cool I think you should go ahead and do it in order to learn how to do it you have to experience it if that's what makes you happy then do it I think it's cool with a girl does that

[Nik1hil]

See he has a penis.
And if you do such things and don't need his help to do it..
He is going to feel emasculated..

It's like if a men walks into kitchen and cook a delicious 6 course meal with one word from his wife..

[jamesgoldman]

He's a misogynist, plain and simple

I would just leave but you could inform him and give him a chance to improve his actions and leave if he doesn't

[andreasderjuengere]

You heard about the 'man-cave' - a place to retire to and to do boy's stuff.
You could set up (and defend?) your own 'woman-cave'.

[Anonymous]

He's acting like a little bitch. Tell him to grow up and work on his own self-esteem or fragile masculinity problems.

[COMMODOREII]

That's not extreme at all actually. It is belittling. Hell I'd be lucky to have a girlfriend like you. 😎

[Juxtapose]

He sounds like a charmer /s