Search Results: he told me he loved me

It's impossible to forget them once you have grasped. But i heard about them MORE than a 100 times. And still kept forgetting.

No cognitive issues. But it was a defense mechanism. There is no way that to study it as extensively as i did and keep forgetting it is just a coincidence with me also fearing to be changed. Wanting to be changed but there is a huge reason why i became this way, to survive.

Both of my clinger-pusher parents are fearful-avoidant because of their pretty bad traumas growing up, till this day they get scared when complimented, for example.

And i learnt that the most widespread recommendations are very harmful, like; "it's no use overthinking" or "love your parents" These spoken excuses always push the anxiety further down so tightly it overflows out as irrationality.

i rarely see my parents and when i do i cannot bring myself to tell them:

Forgiving should come naturally, not through ideology. Just like breathwork never worked for me until opening up my emotions triggered the breathing changes naturally. It is ok to look like you're possesed for days while pouring out the repressed anxiety.

They still press it down with either "we blamed them, they wronged us, now forgive and move on" (my dad) or "they suck, let's revenge forever" (my mom).

Last time i told mom "i have had this bad habit forever, it is finally going away!" she rudely acknowledged and dismissed it in one same sentence.

I think everyone who refuses to investigate this topic and to persist until trauma psychology becomes as clear as adding 1+1, is afraid of finding out they have issues - even if they know they do - because we developed our issues as a means to survive. letting go of daddy issues frightens us to death, it has been our survival strategy.

The tragedy is that 40% of all adults have UNRESOLVED infancy anxiety issues and seek relationships to cope with them instead of fixing their body's repressed panic.

I think the answer is a very clear "no" but I have a bias. I am aware of two women who cheated on me, but I have never cheated on anyone. I know how much those experiences hurt me and I can't fathom how someone can love me but, at the same time, inflict such immense pain. The first time it happened, she confessed to me and told me that she loved me. The second time, there was no confession and I only learned about it later, when we were in the process of a divorce. But at the time she was cheating, she was still claiming to love me.

My best guess is that what those women called "love" was not the same thing that I call love. Both of them were somewhat self-centered and I have guessed that their version of love was based upon loving the way that I treated them but not really loving me. I will never know that those two women felt, so I am asking this question in general.

Can someone cheat on their partner while also loving their partner? If so, is it the same love that non-cheaters feel in a relationship. When you answer, you can answer anonymously, but please do indicate whether you have ever cheated or been the victim of cheating, or both.