Why does my ex who left me still harass me and play the victim?

[Finchie40]

She does everything she can to rain on my parade , she blames me for everything and doesn’t take accountability for any of her actions and behaviors , like she is trying to play this victim when really she is the abuser. I tell her to please leave me alone and that it’s over between us , and then she will say I ruined her life , when she is the one that ruined her own life and our marriage and family. Why won’t she leave me alone? What is she trying to accomplish? She is the one that wanted to be single when I tried saving our marriage plenty of times to the point I finally gave up and realized I can’t force someone to be happy and in love with me , so I agreed with her that it’s over , now she is acting like this victim and tried putting the kids’ against me , but my kids’ know she is out of control and they aren’t listening to her , so she acts like it was my fault that the kids’ don’t want to be near her anymore. I told her she needs serious help and to leave. me alone. Why would someone want to dump you that is miserable with you but still invest a lot of their time into you by calling and texting constantly? Just blows my mind

[molonski2]

I've kinda followed it all since you started writing about this here , and sure I only have your side , but I know the story well and in her case I believe she is seriously mentally ill , possibly ( probably ) was all along , and maybe had the children suffered more depression , used the children as pawns , all the absolute signs of serious illness , now she has not much left she tries to harass you further.

You made a bad choice the day you married ( moved in with her ) no matter how good she may have looked , there is no good reason for what she has done.

[Finchie40]

Very true , you are spot on my man

[AngryCarl3]

Standard psycho ex behaviour. I knew a guy at work went through the exact same thing. In the end he wouldn't answer the phone, which is hard when you're at work.

[sage2021]

Does she have any life at all besides you?

Does she work, have a place of her own? Any friends and relatives she can confide in?

Aren't you going to be moving soon? Just don't give her your new address.
Block her from harassing you by phone.

Just refuse to talk to her. Period.

[Masie]

My guess is she is using it as a defense mechanism. If she forces herself to believe she was not the cause it makes her feel better.

That is only a guess. That or she is so miserable she wants you to be too. That definitely could be another reason.

[Finchie40]

I agree that it’s her mission to try to make me miserable as much as she is , it’s like she is jealous of me for whatever reason

[Crimsyjo]

Stop answering and replying. Your fueling the fire.

If you need some form of conversation block her on everything but email and then choose wjen to read or respond and only respond to relevant parts such as family related items. If it's just a rant? Delete it.

[FreyaRed]

She tries to deteriorate responsibility for everything negative in your former relationship on you.
Women see relationship more pragmatic and from her reference point it's more comfortable to displace all the guilt on you.
Don't interpret to much into it, especially as emotional dependency of her, just let her behind and look forwards.

[beenherebefore]

Mentally unstable.

[Finchie40]

That she is for sure

[Cidknee]

That's her thing. Ignore her. Or embarrass her. You shouldn't have to live like that.

[Finchie40]

She is a narcissist and now that she has no control over me , she is shitting her pants and trying to do everything she can to rain on my parade., when she is the one that wanted to go out separate ways first , so she got her wish and I moved on, but for whatever reason she is not and I do t understand what her deal is or what she is trying to accomplish? I feel bad for whoever ends up with her next , because she will destroy them , the girl is mentally psychotic

[Cidknee]

You can protect yourself though. Enjoy life.

[robocop666]

she is deeply disturnbed and you should have left her long before she changed

[Finchie40]

I already left her , but she won’t leave me alone , the girl needs serious help

[dudeinohio]

Uh. Block her. Restraining order?