You CAN'T Be Proud of Something You Had No Influence Over

[LittleSally]

I'm proud of being a woman.

I'm proud of being a man.

I'm proud of having straight hair.

I'm proud of being Asian.

I'm proud of being black.

I'm proud of being born near a huge lake.

I'm proud of having long legs.

I'm proud of being born.

Pride:

: the quality or state of being proud

: inordinate self-esteem

: a reasonable or justifiable self-respect

: delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship

Does it make sense to be proud of something you had no influence over and nothing you ever did (intentionally or unintentionally)?

No.

It doesn't.

Why? Because of what the word 'pride' means - you are respecting yourself for something you did, achieved, you value yourself more because of your hard work.

If you're proud of owning a big house - because you worked hard and were able to buy it - makes sense.

If you're proud of having a healthy relationship with anyone - because of your hard emotional, psychological and physical work - makes sense.

If you're proud of being white just because you were born a certain skin color- complete nonsense.

You can be proud of anything you want - just realize how stupid it sounds when you say you're proud of something that you did absolutely nothing to achieve.

Hilariously stupid.

It seems as though the people who are often times proud of things they can't influence are the ones who pretty much can't be proud of much else in their lives. Those that take life as it comes and don't try to change it, don't make an effort to better themselves or feel the need to be more successful.

So - what are you going to be proud of, if you don't work towards any goals in life? Well - your skin color, of course, or maybe your insanely beautiful curly hair, because, guess what - that's better than admitting your life may not be the best it can be, and, in fact, you're not even working towards it being even the tiniest bit better...

No effort = no chance for improvement.

[BaileyisDarcy]

Im proud of being able to ditch my everyday accessories in favour for accessories that I bought with my own money rather than what was given to me.

Im proud of being brave enough to cut my hair into a pixie cut and perservering through my stepmothers sharp words.

Im proud of myself for speaking up when i was hurt.

Im proud of myself for controlling my emotions long enough to not burst into tears the last time i visited my 'family'.

I struggle to be proud of anything. And i have always wondered why people would ever be proud of anything out of their control.
Yes be proud of your children or siblings for their accomplishments.
But why be proud of your skin colour or last name? Why be proud of where you were born?
Whats to proud of? You had no say, no control, no input in any of these. So why be proud of it?

[Waffles731]

I completely agree

[alphadoggystyle]

Maybe in an ideal world, but this does not work out in practise. People stereotype and judge others both consciously and subconsciously based on their image, backgrund, looks and what people they are associated with. For example if my older brother was a criminal and did jail time, this is going to bring shame to my family and the rest of us is going to be affected by this, and others are going to look at us differently because of that. On the other side of the coin if my brother or father etc became aa really successful doctor or politician or a movie star, then others are going to expect more from me and look at me differently.

If people who are the same race as myself are percieved to behave a certain way, and people start to expect that from people with that background then it is a part of who i am since it affects me wheter i want to or not. So because people aren't perfect and completely without prejudice etc, and never will be, because of that its completely fine to be proud of things about yourself that you had no control over, such as race, gender etc, as long as you dont start to brag about it and being arrogant towards others as if those things alone make you superior to someone else (although technically, people aren't born equal, and some of these traits people have are based on effort and some others are based on luck, and people will be proud of both types if they are positive and ashamed of both if they are negative)

[redeyemindtricks]

I understand the sentiment behind this take -- and I agree that one should take the MOST personal pride in accomplishments that come from effort and struggle.

Still, this is a horribly depressing way to approach life.
Yr accomplishments are one thing, sure -- but you can't SEE yr accomplishments every time you catch a glance of yrself in a mirror or window.
On the other hand, you absolutely CAN see... yrself. And you should absolutely be proud of what you see.

Fuck yeah you should.

__

If yr *real* point is that people should be humble -- and should remember their roots, and their immeasurable debt to everyone who's ever lent them a helping hand -- then, YES.

But this is not the way to make that point.

[yucel_eden]

Some people are ashamed to be something. So being proud shows your pride in who you are.

An example with me is that the country of Turkey denied the existence of Kurds as a race and called us mountain Turks when we have nothing in common genetically.

Only by being proud (and a bit of guns) of something we had no control over, did we gain more (however little) rights.

[yucel_eden]

So you can be and sometimes should be proud of something that you can't control.

But I do agree that someone people do it in an annoying way. Like some hardcore feminists

[LittleSally]

But see, that's not being proud of who you are, but that's being proud of being corageous enough to do something about it and making others accept you by accepting yourself. So, in the literal sense, they did something about it, they're proud of their actions...

[yucel_eden]

Actually it's comes from being proud of who you are. That's the will.

Some people did just say what the heck we are Turks and not Kurds anymore to not get involved. Coz they aren't proud of who they are.

[LittleSally]

* a lot of people confuse their love of something for pride

[yucel_eden]

Maybe. It's one way of looking at it

[Maik567]

You absolutely can and this is just bullshit. You absolutely can be proud of your heritage and your roots, proud of the things your ancestors accomplished, etc. Because those things are a part of me because my ancestors blood also flow inside you.

You have a point that you shouldn't live off the accomplishments of others and think that somehow that makes you better, but it's complete bullshit to say that you can't still be proud of your heritage/roots/etc.

Also why the fuck couldn't people be proud of their unique features? If there is something unique about you then why not be proud of it?

[Kkaos]

Very true. Sure, you can be happy about something you had no influence over, however you can't possibly be proud of it. I always find it really irritating when people say they're proud to belong to a certain group due to the achievements of other members of that group and not them personally.

[ladsin]

Pride: a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.
Just the definition I found. It talks about those we are associated with as well. In this case it would make sense to have pride in your race, nation, sports teams, etc. with the example of sports teams it's also that we tend to live our lives vicariously through famous peoples. So we can feel pride over their achievements.
One example is that I feel pride for all of humanity in that we have become so much better than we were at the dawn of our race (more moral etc)

[FashionQueen86]

Lots of times I wonder for the people who keep saying if they are proud of being white or black, would they no longer be proud if they were something else? If you're proud of being white, for example, should other people who are not white feel bad or worried for themselves?

Instead, I would like to be proud of my merits, how I treat people, not making irrational or really bad decisions that I either can't reverse or it's difficult to (like drugs, smoking, etc). I'm proud of trying to make something of myself rather than leech off other people or dig myself into a deeper hole.

My skin color is just a coating over me, and it alone shouldn't express to anything to anybody, at least I hope it doesn't.

[NajemEddine]

there is a funny i sometimes see
a husband get promoted in work
his wife will say : he got that promotion thanks to me and be proud of it like she is the one to get it.
we have saying the person who covers himself with other achievments is naked

[LittleSally]

Oh, yeah! Nice saying. Makes a lot of sense.

[NajemEddine]

are u making fun of me :p :> hhhh kidding be proud of yourself

[Saoirse_Nua]

I understand where you are going, I always thought X Pride was a bit of an aggressive phrase like I must prove I am better than you - Why not X Content (much more constructive phrasing) , I am happy to be X, I just want the rights afforded to others without impinging on others - I am content to be X but I am perfectly happy to share the world with a Y Content or a Z Content (after all we are all just letters in the same alphabet)

[mikemx55]

We can be proud of something that other have done.
A person can be proud of their siblings, parents, etc, without having any direct influence in what made us proud of them. And you are proud of being their sibling.. simply because they're your blood.

It can be applied to other environments. Sometimes it can seem stupid, but people do feel that feeling.

[LittleSally]

You can be proud FOR them or OF them... But it has nothing to do wtih you. I'm talking about personal pride - in case it wasn't clear - which it would've been if you read the MyTake...

[BlondeBlueEyes84]

If that's true you can't be proud of your children's accomplishments.

Father: "You got an A, I am proud of you my son".
Son: "I got an A, NOT YOU! How can you be proud of that, father?"

See how stupid this is. You CAN be proud of other people's accomplishments, without personally having anything to do with it. And rightly so.

[DocRim]

Ehm, the parent kinda made the son...

[LittleSally]

@DocRim Being proud OF someone - as I've stated - is completely different. This MyTake - if it wasn't clear - is completely about self pride.

[Soteris]

One of the reasons I consider Patriotism to be mostly idiotic. People who loves their country because it was the location where they were born...

[Nice_Guy_Last]

I think that patriotism in the sense of nationalism is stupid, but patriotism in the sense of, "I am proud that I have chosen to be participant to this great country," where you have pride in your country because you have helped to make it a better place.

[Soteris]

I dont feel that Patriots help make their nation any better then the rest of us. If anything its just a case of social media activism where they make a lot of noise but are not willing to work for it.

[Errhh]

Yes you can. Just because you had no influence doesn't mean you can't be proud to be part of something and the like... Being happy about something you've achieved is only part of the definition... You can certainly be proud or feel joy or satisfaction of simply Being a part of something by naturality or for whatever reason.

[sdistotallyme]

I completely agree. It seems like people who most likely to be "proud" of things they have no control over (gender, race, sexual identity) have often done jack shit in areas of life they do have control over.

However its politically correct to take a cop out nowadays.

[reixun]

So a girl lives in a society that pressures her to relax her hair. One day, she gets fed up with the constant chemicals so she does a big chop and goes natural. People make snide comments about it so she says "I don't care what you think, I'm proud of my afro". Is that wrong?

[Lemonadelover]

She is probably more proud of the fact that she doesn't conform to our society's Eurocentric standard of beauty and feels confident enough to rock her natural hair.

[Nice_Guy_Last]

She made the choice to wear her hair in an afro, therefore, she had an influence over it. Therefore, pride is ok here.

[ikissedtheskyonce]

Some whites will take credit for things too just because one white person accomplished something. That individual accomplished it so i do not get why some races including whites will say they are superior. I have never heard of anyone saying they are proud to be a woman or a man

[LittleSally]

I've seen mytakes on the subject of people being proud of their gender. it's crazy.

[redeyemindtricks]

"I'm proud to be a woman" isn't some sentiment that pops into women's heads at random -- it's a response to other people who are trying to insult, derogate or otherwise marginalize women in general.

Under those circumstances -- along with a big fat middle finger -- it's an entirely appropriate response.

[Nice_Guy_Last]

Ergo, pride is the necessary vice of racism. Without it, no racism.

[Krillanr]

I agree, you can't really take pride in something you didn't make happen.

But I think many confuse the word pride and the word prejudice in such a way as to become proud of their own opinion.

To be proud of being white requires a bias for being white.
Which is irrational at the very best, and racist at the very worst.

[Ironlak282]

I think you can take pride in yourself as a human being I didn't chose to be born I had no control over it but i don't agree that that is a stupid statement to make. In fact if we don't take pride in who we are how can we hope to achieve anything? It has to come from somewhere.

[plinkett]

Yes, you CAN be proud of what you are. You did not come out of nowhere. You are a product of your parents, of a people, of a culture. You should be proud of who you are, who your ancestors are, and you should try and make your children proud of yourself. Once a society decides that pride is some kind of delusion or a pathology, you WILL not have any pride and you will have no morality or future.

[Nice_Guy_Last]

Content would be a better way of putting it. Pride, as the OP noted, is about payoff for work done, not for circumstance.

[plinkett]

@Nice_Guy_Last Pride is very important. If you feel proud of your people and your family, you will have a strong incentive to live a life that will be worthy of this reverence. Then, in turn, your descendants will look to you and strive not to bring shame to what you have achieved. Once people escape this chain, they will be prone to moral decay. But if you see yourself as someone that both their ancestors and descendants are looking at and counting on, that's a lot of pressure. I think people need that.

[Nice_Guy_Last]

Pride in ancestry is what gets us racism.

[plinkett]

@Nice_Guy_Last No, it is when people lose respect for their own group that they start hating others.

[englisc]

This is pretty much what I was going so say. Agree 100%.

@Nice_Guy_Last

That's not what gets us racism - you can be proud of your ancestors without hating other people's ancestors. I'm proud of my ancestors, our culture, the country they built and fought for, for us and our children. They made a lot of sacrifices for us, why would I forget that? And why would that mean I have to hate others? There are other countries and cultures that I admire.

[Nice_Guy_Last]

No, I'd rather think not. It's not one of those retaliation because of insecurity things, at least not in that sense. I don't take pride in being white, and I most certainly hope I'm not racist.

Racism is not based on the notion of physical appearance, although that's how it manifests itself. It's based on the notion that one's heritage, expressed through race, grants greater privilege than those of other races.

For example: white supremists believe that because Europeans, who are white (and specifically Anglo-Saxon Protestants), created the United States, they are the deserving heirs of privelege over the other races in America.

Their problem is pride in heritage, something for which they never worked, and act entitled because of it.

I'm not saying to shun your heritage, rejoice and celebrate it, but to take pride in it is confuse the work and sacrifice of others as your own.

[englisc]

@Nice_Guy_Last

I don't think pride in heritage is a problem at all and I don't think I always has to do with what you've done yourself. I think there's a difference between being proud of something and taking credit for something. The way I see it is that I'm proud of things that my ancestors have done, and in order to honour them I do the best I can to do them proud, to make my children proud, and I hope when they grow up they'll make me proud. I actually think lack of pride is a bad thing. I remember someone recently saying something along the lines of "people who forget their ancestors forget about the future of their children" and I get it. Our generation is all "me me me". They don't seem to care about much else.

[Nice_Guy_Last]

@englisc On the contrary, I think this generation is so caught up in America's past that they aren't thinking of moving forward. People want to "Make America Great Again". The problem is that what made America great in the 1960s is not going to make us great now. We can't rely on debt payments from an bygone war.

Respect history, but don't take pride in accomplishmwnts that aren't yours. Taking pride in American greatness has led Americans to believe that they were responsible for the greatness, yet almost everyone under the age of 80 has no claim to that.

[alltheanswers999]

So you're not allowed to be proud over your heritage or something amazing a family member or friend does? I'm proud to be a black woman because even though I have been belittled due to these uncontrollable factors I can still stand up and teach my younger sister that she has nothing to be ashamed of. Being proud of who you are and what you look like isn't a bad thing

[LittleSally]

You can be proud FOR them... But it has nothing to do wtih you.