Many people grow up and fit in. Some of us however don't. Sometimes it's more common things such as trends, local cultural bias, and being a nonconformist. But for some it is medical, their self identified gender, sexual orientation, or interests. I had a combination of all of these factors.
I was born with multiple rare conditions and at a young age. I also was in a place with limited ethnic diversity at a time when people would stereotype you and treat you according to what they perceived. My interests were different and sometimes annoying to others. I liked words, measurement, and philosophical ponderance. To some I was a nonconformist others a trend setter, but some just thought I was weird or funny. Sometimes I could go with that but other times being seen as funny was hurtful.
Indigenous people have their own take on things that varies depending on the group in question. This was a hard lesson for me at times but I got used to it and learned to compensate. In part of my parents culture my being an intersex individual wasn't uncommon. Because of this some of them perceive gender more fluidly and consider there to be 3 or more. Many of the outside cultures only saw two genders. They had very prescribed roles for those genders as to behavior, dress, and rights.
Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS)
I was born with the type of Chimerism listed and Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. My puberty was a bit different as I entered it twice. Once at a younger age as a boy and later as a girl when I developed breast tissue and menstruated. AIS carries with it fertility issues and Chimerism sometimes also has issues. Most commonly the children you give birth to as a woman may not match your external tissue meaning your egg is your sisters. As a man AIS carries with it a low sperm count. I did manage to have children but I will not talk about it here. Though I did have to see specialists and did have to have surgeries and hormones. One of my children did have the same combo as me and did have an identical twin that didn't have the conditions. Those kids had half siblings who carried and had AIS. One did manage to give me a grandchild proving these conditions can be overcome if you want kids. We were also part of improving genetic testing and counselling many years ago. My mother was also a Chimera. Several of us in our family did adopt even when we had biological children.
Part of my childhood was spent in Indonesia, Samoa, Tonga, Cambodia, India, and Mongolia. All of which had their own way of addressing being different. In some of the countries I'd indicate my gender by the way I dressed, wore my hair, and that included sometimes wearing a fake mustache because I had problems growing a real one. One culture recognized being "bi-gendered" but not specifically intersex and they accepted same sex relationships. I had tribal marriage to both a husband and a wife. With the wife I wore male clothing and a mustache and with the husband I wore female clothes, no mustache, and sometimes a hair piece. We did have male and female jewelry though some was unisex. That was while living in Tonga. In Indonesia I wore gender neutral clothing most of the time and was considered a Bissu.
I learned however from traveling that the method of dress I employed in Tonga and Fiji was useful. But it became a challenge to deal with all the same. In the area of India and Cambodia I was in as a child it would of been a problem. In the least people there at the time wouldn't of responded well to my switching clothes and roles.
I once got called a transvestite, a corrupt person, and a pervert. I wasn't being sexual and as a fact was avoiding it. How would I explain my unusual body if they saw it? I had to explain things by saying I had a twin brother or sister. Which wasn't a lie. But something happened once and I got outed in one place. The person said a tor**** of awful things and got others. They partially disrobed me then saw I really had parts for both. They were startled by it but should've been ashamed for what they did to me. A grown up showed up and scared them off. But then rumors and people asking questions including very invasive and rude questions. Things like "so does it work?" Then clarifying which "it" they meant. Not that I wanted to answer them I told them they were vulgar and didn't respond.
It's been years, times have changed, and I'm older and mellower. The answer is both worked but not always the way I would of liked. Such as my bladder and ability to urinate properly out of either. My female area was narrow and being intimate sometimes painful until surgeries fixed it. I also found it hurtful that people's romantic interests were sometimes just because they were curious what it might be like to sleep with someone who is physically different there.
Besides my anatomy being different I had a few other things. I was an albino despite having dark skin. It was more noticeable in my having auburn hair with hazel eyes, and later health effects as I have Spinal Muscular Atrophy.(Kennedy Disease) It was vitiligo that turned my skin white over time. For awhile I made my skin darker to hide the marks. We used to use spices mixed in a powder. Later my skin was light enough I was lightening my dark spots to look more even in color. Now I just pass for a light skinned white person. But at one point a stranger saw me when I was traveling and called me something akin to a jersey cow and another called me a dalmatian.
Acute Radiation Syndrome (ARS): A Fact Sheet for the Public
In the community I was living in as a child I passed for normal enough(clothed) until cancer hit and started to deform my body. I had several surgeries to deal with it. After my surgeries my Asian eye folds were changed. One eye appeared bigger than the other because of it as they did have to enlarge my eye socket. My nose was thinner because of what they needed to remove. They later removed part of my breasts. But later treatments removed my scars.
While the culture and my status in some countries caused people to leave me alone about relationships however others did not. I had several annulments and marriages were often not seen as legal. This is because of rules on same sex marriage and because some were while working undercover. Some countries tried to deny me ability at all to consider marriage because they didn't want to decide my gender or wanted me to conform to just one. My prior spouses from Fuji and Tonga split with me and got together. This was partly because they faced the same problem if they tried to travel with me as one or both wouldn't be recognized.
The church took a different view with me. Catholic and Muslim churches acknowledged my relationships in part to my physiology. However later health concerns caused me to undergo sex reassignment surgery. Thus ending my male life and going on only with my female. My status was updated and as long as I didn't marry a woman I'd not be hassled by the government again. Later same sex marriage was accepted in far more countries. I did marry again once, after surgery but did divorce. Some relationships were hard at times before surgery. People wanting me to be gay or straight. Not really respecting what my answer was either way.
I did meet transgendered people and other intersex people. I found it disturbing how some were treated including scams and violence they had to endure. I was considered transgendered though technically I am bi gendered physically and mentally. The fact I lost one due to health does in a way make me transgender though.
Another condition I have was diagnosed as Atypical Autism and as such sometimes my interests probably irritated others. Other times my ability to focus was useful. I didn't fit some people's stereotypes of autism though. I was social and despite being unusual I was well liked where I was growing up. I did have problems with some things which were partly assumed as a result of my cancer. I did keep lists of things such as words in more than one language. I was hyperlexic and read and wrote at a young age. I could be blunt, routine driven, and I was into details of objects. Educational testing did show what would be expected with hyperlexia.
As a child I stubbornly participated in sports and other events despite my health. Completing in winter and summer sports, dance, theater, and a variety of other things. Sports though was an odd issue as I had to have a nurse or doctor check my body to see if I was competing appropriately to my physical gender. This is because some children with a single gender were sometimes competing in the other gender's sport to bring home a medal as they might be stronger or faster. To cut down on it part of the government instituted physical gender checks. Some did find out I had an intersex status. They complained because I did well. They did other testing of me and I did switch to competing in the other gender for some. It didn't change that I still did well no matter which I registered at. Sometimes other people won the competition and other times I won or at least placed.
In my other interests of arts it didn't matter and as a fact some countries have a long history of men playing roles of women or women sometimes playing roles of men. When it came to higher education some countries restricted by gender which courses a person could take. This caused me some trouble in Indonesia at one school. Eventually I moved on to another and many schools in various countries changed their policies as women fought for their rights.
I had at times been on the receiving end of bigotry simply over the color of my skin. I've been too black, too Asian, and even too white depending on where I was. Some peoples choice to base what sort of person someone was on their perceived ethnicity or gender I think really held back some places. But one thing we can all be sure of is change. Eventually it happens at a varying pace. The measure of a person isn't their race, ability to have a child, or their gender; it is their character.
Many years ago I suffered more than one brain aneurism. A consequence of life and work. I survived them but for awhile had complete loss of memory. Then several fires struck taking with them what pictures and contact information I had for family and friends living abroad. I've been on the receiving end of hateful people. Not just because of who and what I am but because of work I had done. I had worked in humanitarian groups as well as the military, emergency response, and police. Sometimes helping people puts you in the path of some very nasty people. Then they find out your different. Which is why I live a quiet life these days though I went through a terrible period where I lost everything. I'm doing better except for several chronic health conditions partly caused by injury while working for the government. I left the arts many years ago and left it to the younger people. Injuries have kept me from writing or drawing much since I have vision and fine motor problems. I sometimes miss the arts and some of the people I knew. Many have passed on over the years and others I lost touch with long ago.
I did work with more than one military and with the UN as a Peacekeeper once. At one point some of the militaries would only accept me to a certain role if I were a man. They argued things like ships and subs would have problems if women were on board. Later they had no choice as I'd had surgery. So some tried to make me a analyst and others tried to make me office and troop entertainment. I did see active service but I also left it, got put on reserve, or just recalled after leaving. Eventually they left me alone. Their interest was I was trained before joining and was a specialist officer and some other officers didn't have the same training. But now many militaries offer more advanced training instead of basic specialist training. Military used to be how some people got higher education but for a few of us we had university before military. Military could also get you citizenship including dual citizenship or specialist visa's.
At the core of all of us we are just people. All different in our own ways. We are not our clothes, our birth rank, skin color, or genitals. We all have some eccentricities and hearts. Love is love it isn't sex though it is still a type of intimacy. I am glad the world has changed and more accepting and less invasive practices have been going around the globe.
#Intersex #Transgender #military #vitiligo #albinism #hyperlexia #aytypicalAutism #AIS #cancer #sexchange #chimerism #hermaphradite
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