In the shoes of an ugly woman

[Anonymous]

I have a very ugly face, and I would like to tell you what it's like to be considered ugly. I know the first thing people will think as they read this is that this is being written by an insecure person. You are right, I do feel insecure but I have a good reason to feel this way. Yes I do have low self-esteem. Yes I have self hatred.

I also know that you will probably think that my ugliness is all in my head, or that I want pity, or you're thinking that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I am sure people also think that this might be a post to get attention, or get pity. I've heard it all when I've tried to share my story. So I have decided to disable comments on this Take. All I want is for people to be aware of how it feels when you shame someone for not being attractive.

I have been getting made fun of since I was about 13 for my looks. I am now in my late 20s, and it's rare but it does happen. Luckily it hasn't happened as often as it used to. Believe it or not, I got made fun of more between the ages of 19 to 24. By that age you'd think people would be too old for bullying, but apparently not.

I was at a point where I actually wanted to commit suicide because of the bullying. I didn't go to college, but I lived in a college building back then because it was cheaper for me. Everyone who lived there were below the age of 30. There wasn't a day that didn't go by where someone didn't say something to me about my looks. I got to a point where I didn't want to go outside because of it. When I left my apartment, I would hide my face behind my hair and try to avoid eye contact with anyone. That's about the time I developed social anxiety.

I'm sure many people are thinking that I could change my appearance in some way, and that I just don't try. I work hard at my appearance. I keep myself fit. I dress well. I style my hair. I am a very clean person. I keep myself regularily well groomed. I am extremely active. I've had more makeovers than most people I know. It hasn't helped my face look better. People are still rude to me anyway.

Although, there is some good news to this negative take. I did move out of that building once I saved enough money and I live in a nice condo where people don't take much notice of me thankfully. I can also say that around 26 or so, the bullying lessened a lot. I don't even think I've had an ugly comment for over a year now. I am very thankful for that.

I am still single and lonely though. I've never had a relationship. All that bullying about my looks has given me a lot of self hatred. I still have social anxiety, although it's gone from severe to mild. I've been working on my social skills. I am in a better place than I used to be. I have more friends now. I have myself in a good place financially, and I have even accepted my very first date. Yes, I am in my late 20s and I am going on my very first date. I hope it goes well.

So the point to all of this? Stop judging people on their appearance so much. If you see someone you think is ugly, keep it to yourself. Why shame them? They are probably already aware that they aren't attractive, and they don't need reminded. You don't have to date them, or be friends with them but why be so rude to them? You might think the person will get over it, but they won't.

I've been on this site for about four years now. I've seen questions from even the prettiest girls asking if they are ugly. They always ask for reassurance that they are pretty. Feeling ugly is horrible, and it can really affect your life. It's worse when you are reminded of it constantly. So if you've ever felt ugly, think about that feeling before you shame someone you find unattractive.

If you're still reading my long rant I thank you for it. I am not sure if anyone will read this, or if they will keep reading it but I hope you did. Please realize that words do a lot of damage to a person. I'm sorry if you wanted to comment, but I've shared my story enough to know what kind of comments to expect. All I want to do is get through to people.

Thank you.