As many of us are already aware, divorce really isn't anything new or groundbreaking. Many people say children are often the victims of the conflicts that arise when their parents get divorced.
So, I want to take a stand on this issue and say that as a "victim" of divorce, I feel anything but victimized.
My parents got divorced when I was about 3 almost to 4 years old. Thirteen years later, I will never say that their divorce defines me as an individual. But rather, I'd say that it is one of the many circumstances of my life that has shaped me into who I am today.
Of course, there's tough times growing up with my parents arguing and their divorce looming in the background of my life and everything else. I was too young to formulate any authentic memories of my childhood, but I could clearly remember that they were constantly arguing and one day my mum just packed our stuffs - without dad's, and we moved to another house. I never saw him since. I was also obviously too young to understand what was actually going on.
Looking back, I realized that there were quite a few lessons learned. They are invaluable, I could say, for they moulded me into the person I am today.
In one aspect, I'd say that my parents divorce was for the best. I love my parents, both of them. They're wonderful people, but yet, they still possess their own flaws, as we all do as human beings. It was sort of clear that they were just trying to pull it together because of me, for my sake.
When I was younger, I used to wonder if my future marriage would be fated for the same outcome as my parents'. But then again, just because we come from our parents it doesn't make us an exact copies of them. We have every capability to form our own identities.
It took me quite a long period of time to get to this point, but I finally learned not to be a victim. Life is rough in school, and being a child of divorce doesn't make it any easier. Thankfully, it finally occurred to me that being a "victim" wasn't that cool, and "enjoying" my misery as my company totally wasn't cool either. What's cooler than all that is to rise above your struggles you've encountered.
Being a child of divorce definitely has its hardships, but it certainly doesn't solidify your label as a victim. Eventually, it is vital for you to move on. Peel of the "victim" label, burn it to ashes and go live your life.