The truth about the no contact rule

Many people may have heard about the no contact rule and that it is the first you do in the process to get back together with your ex. the no contact rule means you have no contact at all with you ex for a certain amount of time. you can't call your ex on the phone, you can't text them, you can't hang out with them, you can't email them, you can't bump up at places where your ex may be and you can't leave them notes.

Some experts will swear that 60 days (or two months) of not contacting an ex is optimal. Others claim that 90 days (or three months) is the way to go but most people follow the 30 day ( a month ) no contact rule. those experts try to convince you that your ex will miss you and will reach out to you and when they do you will get them back. well... i am here to tell you that this is absolutely NOT the way to get your ex back!. no one likes to be ignored. yes your ex may wonder how you're doing and they may miss you and want to reach to you but when you don't respond your ex will think you want nothing to do with them and it also destroys their trust in you and in the relationship. trust is such a huge part in relationships and when it's gone , it is not easy to gain again.

the no contact rule is all about healing and learning from your mistakes. it is about moving on and not feeling that pain you will experience when you contact your ex and they say very hurtful things to you. have you ever broken up with someone and checked their facebook every once in a while only to see some things you wish you never had known? or have you ever wrote a beautiful letter for you ex about how much you miss them and love them only to get a response from them that crushed your heart to pieces? i think all of us have done something like that once in our lives. break ups are painfull and it is really hard to let go of someone you love. i know that. i have been through it so many times. when i first read about the no contact rule it gave me that false hope of getting back together someday. first of all.. i was the dumper and i could have had him back if i hadn't ignored him. it ruined my chances of getting back together for good. if you are the dumpee then i'll suggest you follow the no contact rule. do it for you. be the best person you can be. improve yourself, have fun, don't sit around waiting for you ex to reach out to you. if they do then thats fine but don't ignore them if you still would like to have them back. the two of you should take it slow. don't tell him/her how much you love and miss them straight away. i hope it works out for the both of you. if you are the dumper and you regret breaking up with him/her then you should let them know. if the dumpee doesn't want to get back together then you have to leave them alone and follow the no contact rule. at least they know how you feel about them. if they do want to get back together they will let you know. remember you don't ignore them when they do reach out to you if you want to get back together. if you don't want to work it out anymore you can ignore them and heal from the break up. the no contact rule is usefull to protect you from unneccesary pain and healing but ignoring your ex isn't the way to get them back.

i hope this was usefull to a lot of people who read about the no contact rule and thought it would help them to get back together. have a great day ! :)

The truth about the no contact rule


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What Guys Said 2

  • Nice mytake. You made a lot of good points. Break ups are hard and I felt ex's always remain a part of are memories. Their are different things like places and hangouts that make us think of our ex's. It makes moving on tough depending on how bad or good the break up was.

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  • My last break up. We stayed friends for like 2 months then I never heard from her again. So it was a reverse no contact lol

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What Girls Said 1

  • I was the dumper and immediately regretted it. Its was just a stupid fight. I tried to tell him how much I was sorry, how much I made a mistake and how I wanted him back. At first he told me he needed space and he didn't know what to do about our relationship. Now, he says he is over it and that i need to adjust and move on. We were together 8 months and were inseperable that whole time with maybe 1 or 2 major fights (this being one). Pretty sure his friends are a big reason as to why he doesn't want to try again and his past relationships were bad (fighting, breaking up, getting back together over and over again). I get where he's coming from, but I'm using this to focus on myself and better myself so that maybe he'll come around? I need answers... help!!!

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