Does the "No Contact" rule work?

[Anonymous]

The "no contact" rule says that afer a break up you should go 30 days without contacting your ex, and not responding to them, in order to reset the relationship. This gives them the opportunity to miss you and helps you get some emotional distance. It's controversial, some people swear it works, some call it game playing. Have you tried it? Did it work for you?

Yes, It worked for me!

Yes, I know someone who it worked for

No, I tried it and it didn't work

No, I never tried it and it sounds stupid

[JustBeingHonest7]

Umm I think the no contact rule CAN work, but not a guaranteed thing-in terms of getting back together, but I think it is a good thing to use in general. But first, let's describe the terms of no contact:
1-you are not to contact your ex. Period.
2-you have to sit down and evaluate the role YOU played on the break up, and then make some appropriate changes, as well as fill up your calendar DOING things.
3-if you are wanting to get get back together, the break up has to of been done by him, and not by you.

If you simply stubbornly decide not to contact him, it won't work. You HAVE to put the effort into YOURSELF. The idea is that when you DO talk, he will see that you have changed and are different.

The logic behind it: a lot of break ups happen after a fight, by not contacting him, you are giving him space to cool down. No contact doesn't work as well on women. When he does realize wth? She hasn't texted me at all? He might get a little curious because hey! You all were together x amount of time and probably both have a little bit of attachment. After a break up, neither side completely severs that attachment, so it's normal to wonder about each other a little.

Even if you don't get back together, doing it and working on yourself during that time means even if he doesn't contact yiu, you are in a better place at the end of it. Now you have gone a full month without talking, you have improved yourself, and you have a life the latest is full and complete without him!

I tried no contact once. Guy texted me within a week. We almost got back together within a month, but he and I aren't compatible and he didn't do the work on himself to fix his pcontrubuting problems so we did not get back together. But 7 months later and he still reaches out to me about monthly to do a quick catch up chat as friends.

BUT, in that month I joined a mom club, got some new clothes that made me feel attractive, got a hair cut, started making plans with the mom's in that group, hung out more with my friends and made my life nice and full. I also read as much relationship advise as I could. I reflected on all my past relationships and found the qualities I most value in a man, and then grew the confidence to wait until a man with those most important qualities came along. I've been dating this man for a month and a half now and omg I couldn't be happier. He treats me like no one else ever has! I can't stop smiling!

[JustBeingHonest7]

If you do no contact how I just described it, you may or may not get him back, but you'll win on the long run

[mooky06]

It sounds stupid in my opinion. If I broke up with an ex, it's me not wanting to speak or hear from them ever again. If I wanted to make him miss me.. Just take a break.

[SexyStudent]

There is no such thing as a no contact rule. When you break up with somebody you break up with them and there is never any further contact. Move on

[LeeDynastyy]

When a breakup or rejection happens, a lot of men chase the girl. The problem with this is the the harder the guy chases, the more desperate he looks, which results in the girl rejecting him even more.

What the no contact rule does is it gives the girl an impression that you are a man that deserves a great woman. When women reject men, they unconsciously believe that the man will feel bad and start to chase. However, the guys who use the no contact rule does the OPPOSITE, which confuses most girls. Then the girls will start questioning, "Why isn't he chasing me? Maybe he does not need me because he knows that he deserves better"

Women think with emotion, not logic. When a breakup happens, she is doing so because she "feels" that it is the right thing to do. She will not regret it the first couple days or the first week. However, a whole month with no contact will motivate her to start wondering.

This is a much better option than chasing the girl. Even if it does not work, going no contact for 30 days will actually help the man heal from the relationship and move on with his own life and focus more on self improvement.

[Asker]

that makes sense! do you think it works the other way around, too? Does it work if a girl does the no contact on a guy?

[LeeDynastyy]

Yes it does! :)

Yes I believe that it will work the other way around, as long as you do it properly.
If you broke up with your boyfriend in the past already and you made a mistake by chasing, it might be a little bit harder. It is crucial that you immediately cut off your communication to him (For example, social media, texting, calling, seeing him in real life). It does not have to be complete isolation but enough for him to start wondering about you and miss you. Actually, another strategy is to keep your social media, and post pictures of you having fun with other guys. Your ex will start wondering, "Wow, she's not even depressed. She's actually having a better time. Maybe it was a mistake".

I actually think it will work even better because guys tend to let go of grudges faster than girls.

Also, if it does not work, it's still good because it will help YOU forget about the guy and move on. There are plenty of other great men out there!

[reptocarl]

You're taking relationship advice from a 16yo?

[LeeDynastyy]

@reptocarl
Advice from experience is good, but so is advice from logic :)

[Asker]

@reptocarl I am listening to the opinion of an intelligent and not bitter person. If you think that age and wisdom are the same thing then you're definitely at a disadvantage.

[reptocarl]

I'm not bitter. I'm a realist and don't live in a fantasy land

[reptocarl]

You're not logical if you don't think it's a game

[LeeDynastyy]

@reptocarl

People who are saying this this is "stupid" or "weird" is saying that because they don't really know what this "no contact" rule is. No, it's not "fantasy land", or "playing games". It's a smart decision you can make to get back with your lost partner. Anyone who actually understands the reasons why it's a good choice and the benefits that can follow will agree that it MIGHT work and it's worth a try.

Search up the No Contact Rule and do more research. I'm not saying it works 100% like it's some magic. I'm saying it's the best option when it comes to breakups.

[reptocarl]

You're not getting it. There are no rules

[reptocarl]

Rules are in games. Relationships isn't a game but at your age you think playing games is perfectly ok in a relationship. Successful couples don't do this bullshit ever.

[LeeDynastyy]

@reptocarl

Lol. Dude, the No Contact strategy is used AFTER a break up. The relationship is not "successful" at that point.

[Asker]

AND the primary reason is to get some emotional distance.

[reptocarl]

Then why bother?

[reptocarl]

That's not what I've seen in my tenure here

[LeeDynastyy]

@reptocarl

You obviously do not understand how the no contact "rule" works. It's not a system solely designed to get your ex back. It MIGHT get him or her back, but if it does not work out, there is nothing to lose since it will help you move on from that person.

I said this over and over again but if you still do not understand -
When you break up, there are two things you can do. Choice A - move on. Choice B - chase your ex. The no contact "rule" is extremely beneficial because it allows you to move on while providing you another chance IF the ex changes her / his mind.

It's not that complicated. Don't bullshit yourself into thinking that you are correct no matter what because of your "experience". Logic is just as powerful as experience.

[farscryer0]

No. My dad always taught me to be an utter asshole from the moment a breakup is occurs.

Why?

Closure. The best thing a dude can leave a woman with when the relationship is over is an excellent excuse to call him an "ex." It prevents those long, drawn-out breakups that are frankly agonizing for the heart. Not worth it at all, especially when you and she both know its done.

Guys, give yourselves and them closure. Be the asshole.

[serious]

No, I don't think it really works. It can give all sorts of negative impressions about you and plus the other person will surely start losing interest in you.

I mean it doesn't really work but it might work on a very few type of people, more often it will surely fail.

[Hungry_Shark]

For me no contact = walk away.
If ur ex wants to contact u.. he/she will reach out to u otherwise just move on.
It works with men.. coz usually women can't take it and reach out when they can't take it anymore... although im not sure if it works with women or not.

[becca123]

The other thing it does is allow your heart to heal so you can be strong enough to walk away.

[meatballs21]

If you broke up, what is going to have changed after a month? If something does (or something seems to have) that makes it seem like it's safe enough to go back, you probably didn't break up for a good enough reason in the first place.

[Clovy_Ree]

That sounds... stupid :o
You don't put a timer on that, 30 days? It can be 60 or 90 or just 7 days
Every person is different

Getting back together after a break up doesn't sound like a good decision

[reptocarl]

No it doesn't. It's a breakup used by people that are too pussy to call it a breakup

[Asker]

actually, it's used by people AFTER a break up to heal themselves and also see if the relationship is worth saving.

[reptocarl]

I stand by my statement. If you have to play fucked up games like this then your relationship is in serious trouble and won't last anyway. It isn't worth a fucking thing. I see people on here asking if they should do a 2 week or whatever no contact to see if it'll make whoever miss them. Give me a fucking break. That is so elementary and immature and nothing but a fucking game

[Sexualchrist]

That has helped me to get sex from an ex during a dry spell from a break up actually.

[Nomad69]

Sounds stupid if you don't talk in a couple weeks I'd be out there looking for the next one

[Anonymous]

A girl tried it on me once. It backfired because out of sight out of mind I had moved on.

[Anonymous]

even with my friends we touch each other, so that ll be a dumb things to do

[aliceinwonderland69]

I wish I'd done that.

[apple24]

No, I never tried it and it sounds stupid

[abc--123]

I've done 4 years with no contact and it's been ok

[XoxoXxx]

Never tried it.