Does the "No Contact" rule really work?

[Anonymous]

So, a few months back, my ex decided she wanted to breakup because her crazy mother didn't want us dating. (She's 17 and I'm 18) Since she had plans to move back in with her father, she promised me that once she had moved in with him, we would get back together. We still talked with each other, and it seemed like she really did want to get back together.

However, a few weeks ago, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed. I noticed that some guy was commenting on all of her pictures and was flirting with her. After looking at the guy's page, I learned that he was actually my replacement, and that the two of them were dating. It made it even worse that I learned this when I saw a picture of them kissing.

When I confronted her about it, she said she didn't see anything wrong with it, and began to treat me like trash. I was devastated. She acted like an entirely different person, and it seemed like we had never been together.

I then told her that we needed to break things off, and I then proceeded to remove her number from my phone, and removed her from my Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram. I decided I would go "No Contact" in hopes that she would begin to miss me and regret her decision.

However, it's been 3 weeks, and I haven't heard anything. Does "No Contact" really work to get an ex back, or is it hopeless?

[GazzCZ]

Nothing is guaranteed, it may work or not. But when I look back in the past, everytime I stopped talking to a girl, she came back month, two months later, but she never had different guy at that time also I didn't know about "No contact" because I was young, and I still am. I went through no contact for two weeks and then I broke it, because I knew from everyone that she was missing me, she even started doing some weird things around me so I just broke it, but haven't move it forward yet. You should use this free time which you have now to something useful, make yourself a better person, go to gym, learn some new language or so on,... just work on yourself to have higher chances of her noticing, that she lost someone who is totally different than your old yourself.

But you should think about some things :
- If you really want to make her happy because you like her, maybe it will be better if you let her with her new boyfriend

- No contact works sometimes to get someone back, under certain conditions, if you had an big fight when you last talked about it, don't expect her to come back saying "Ohh I missed you all the time!"

- Also no contact is supposed to help you move on, this is the main goal when you want to use no contact, 3 weeks is a lot, do you still have the same feelings for her like you did in the beginning?

- Is she texts you, it's probably win situation for you, because you will know that she still cares (it depends on what she will text you of course) but I have to warn you, that conversation with her will feel so weird until you get more into it. If she won't text you, it's win situation for you as well, because you will know that she doesn't care and you can move on (actually you should start moving on since day one of no contact, remove that hope from your head)

The best thing you can do now, is to work on yourself, socialize, find new friends, let her know that you can live great without her, this will make your chances bigger, but don't expect it to work, it's not universal "strategy" or how to call it to get someone back. Anyways I wish you good luck with no contact, I know how you feel but it will make you more emotionally stronger.

[Anonymous]

I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

Breakups happen for a reason...

I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

[Dorlinaxx]

I'm going through a similar situation with the no contact, don't get me wrong it's hard. When I split from my ex, it was on my terms (two months ago) but it was for the best for both of us. Now it's all of a sudden just hit me, I suppose I'm just going through that phase of seriously missing the company. He is probably just a rebound, I wouldn't care too much. But now that you know she won't take you back, this gives you the chance to actually work on yourself, start going out/take up a hobby to keep yourself busy. I caved and contacted my ex but I don't think there's a chance of us getting back together, but it was nice to hear off him - it was a long distance relationship, so it's a bit easier since I don't see him around. It's still hard as we had some good times but I suppose some people just aren't meant to be. You seem a nice guy and she doesn't deserve you if she is making fake promises and leading you on. You'll find someone else, just take things slow. Hope things go well :)

[victoriameliegray]

She is treating you like trash. She had no respect for you whatsoever, and even though she fell for the other guy instead, she was completely inconsiderate of your feelings, and played with you. No contact will not work in this case, since it is clear that she does not have enough lingering feelings to stay loyal to you. You can do way better man. I'd say let this girl go. No matter what you do, she will never take back that deicision that she made, and she can't change what happened. It's her loss. You need to move on

[VanessaLove]

😕 Trust me it won't work untill that guy uses her all up and dumps her.

Iv used that method it worked great but the person was single and lonely without me.

Dont beg her it will make her wanna treat you like trash. I wouldn't take her back because she's gonna be the type to not care about your feelings anymore

[ak666]

No contact is just a guideline as I see it. One of the things people tend to forget often, and especially in this context, is that love is a game of attraction.

Just intuitively, people who are brokenhearted don't behave in an attractive way. They're trying too hard to pull their partner back, reasoning them, pleading with them, trying to remind them of good times as though they developed amnesia, etc. etc. All of this doesn't work. It doesn't make you attractive. It makes you look ugly as hell.

To be attractive again and dazzle and charm your partner, you have to somewhat move on. If you can't move on and you're still like a wounded puppy dog, that doesn't attract girls, especially not exes.

[ak666]

If, on the flip side, the ex sees you and you're more charming than ever and seem so pleasant to be around, she might miss you. She might even want you in a new way if it seems like you've improved as a person in a way which addresses any previous grievances she might have had about you. To do that though, you need to, to a large extent, get over her. You have to kill the hope of being together again and be happy with that, and be happy with yourself, to really have a decent chance of attracting her again.

[ak666]

Any attempt to win her back before you start genuinely moving on is going to come off as a performance, a game of sorts, trying desperately to win her back, and that performance isn't going to be very convincing. It has to be real to be attractive. That desperation has to go away if you want to be at your best. And when you're at your best, you'll have a chance to attract all kinds of girls once more, not just your ex.

[fauchelevent]

It probably doesn't work when they've already moved on and are happy without you in another relationship. It's not like the no contact is making them lose anything when the role you fulfilled has already been taken up by someone else.

[queenfogs]

Dear it won't work till the guy breaks up with her, only then will she begin to realize your worth or what she's missing And then try to contact you. In as much as you want her so bad, don't try to come off as desperate cause she's gonna be thankful she left you. Work in trying to move on instead dear

[toofunnyjazz]

Every time I do the no contact it works like a charm. But it also gives me time to heal and think about all the crappy things my ex did. Therefore, after the no contact time and I hear something back from there. I am more strong to turn them down

[vincjh]

I'm sad to tell you bro, but she's moved on. That sucks.

Having no contact will only help you now to get over her. Trust me, don't destroy yourself anymore.

[Kitten967]

I've never heard the no contact rule work in getting exs back most people use it to get over an ex. If she hasn't contacted you and she's clearly moved on you should move on too

[Anonymous]

No, no contact in my opinion is just there to give both people a chance to move on... not to try to get anyone back but I don't know I've never done that.

[Lelaila]

Nope. No contact is the easiest way to get over an ex, not to get them back.

[laylay2487]

NO IT doesn't... It will if the ex has nobody to be with

[JustRollTheDice]

It does if they don't have a replacement so you need to carry on no contact and just move on

[ElissaDido]

It worked for me lol.

[Pearl85]

It helps you both move on

[MakingMeHiiiigh]

That'll never work bro

[ShayanMortazavi1998]

Yes, I know from experience

[StickStickity13]

screw her, move on