Met her in 2005 in high school. She was a friend of mine for awhile but we were not very close.
We reconnected in 2007 and started dating. I had just joined the Army and was sent overseas. I should clarify we started dating when I was on leave so I was only going to be deployed for about another 6 months.
Thought everything was great, the most attractive girlfriend I've ever had and the best sex, too. She wasn't particularly intelligent or funny but enjoyable to be around. You know how it goes.
I discovered she cheated on me early in the relationship while I was deployed overseas. The trust and respect was gone and it didn't matter to me that it happened early on.
9 years together, and she cheated the first year (only one I know of). My mind was a mess.
The moment I discovered she cheated:
Her older brother passed away recently. We went to a storage shed her family had to shift through some things of his, donate stuff or sell stuff etc.
She had a few boxes of things in there, mostly clothes and old makeup. One box contained personal items, very old letters and gifts I had given her, stuff we shared from maybe our first year together.
In the box was a letter she had written to another guy. There were graphic details about what they had done together. Basically sounded like he ditched her after awhile and she was upset about it. Sounded like he was ignoring her and her intention was to either mail the letter or leave it at his doorstep.
I guess when they moved she threw the letter into the same box as our stuff (probably from a junk drawer) and flat-out forgot about it.
The date on the letter matched up with our dating. Not to mention she even signed it. Stupid thing to do but considering a 19 year old girl wrote it I guess it makes sense. I found out later the guy (Greg apparently) was 30 years old at the time. That further disgusted me.
You would have thought that I would flip out but it was honestly like someone hit a switch in me. I just shut down. I literally walked out of the storage shed, handed her the letter, got in my car and drove off. Went and ate at my favorite pizza place and shut my phone off. Then went home and grabbed a bunch of my stuff and went to my friend's place.
Kept my phone off for 3 days. When I turned it back on I had 78 missed calls and over 40 texts. That's when a hole opened up in my chest and it really hit me. It felt like the last 9 years were a lie but also some weird dream. Like maybe it didn't happen.
I credit my great friends for their help. They got all my stuff out of the apartment for me so I wouldn't have to see her and I just straight-up paid the fine and broke the lease. She was on her own after that. Spoke to her a few weeks later; more emotional stuff etc etc, and then finally went NC and even changed my number and email.