He Cheated But I'm Better Than This

[FluffyBee]

I hope I do this myTake thing correctly, it's my first one and since I saw him today with his new girlfriend I was thinking why not share this with total strangers?

First, we used to be high school sweethearts and went together to college. He was the first guy I went on a date with, he was the first guy to drive me home, he was the first to like my laugh (super-duper awkward laugh), he was the first to make me realize what I want and support me, he was the first guy I took home and let meet my parents, and he was my first kiss and my first time.

He was my first.

He was my first guy to cheat on me. He was the first to break my little heart. It was the 8th of March, 2014. Saturday. Like every Saturday I would run in the morning, would go in my room and shower after that I would go to the library and learn. Then I would pick my boyfriend up to have lunch together.

This Saturday after taking my shower I didn’t wanted to learn, I was totally in a cuddle mood and so I decided to learn at night and not go to this party I already didn’t wanted to join in. So I wanted to wake him up and cuddle.

I wish that I hadn't opened that door…

There he was lying in bed with a blonde haired girl beside him, cuddling with her…her dress was lying right at the door, her bra was on his chair and his clothes were lying next to his bed..You know who she was? My labor partner, my “friend” who knew about us.

It hurt so much. Both of them broke me to pieces. I was questioning myself while totally losing my mind. I was thinking he is going to be the father of my children and there he was with her…

It was the worst day of my life and my worst heartbreak. Until today I have trust issues and guys have it really hard with me.

But also at the same time I'm grateful for this experience. I learned my worth and after a year of grieving and questioning myself and hating my body and just being so self-conscious, I learned to pick myself up, I learned my worth and I will never let anyone hurt me again like this. I learned to love myself and to not search for love in someone else, I can do it myself.

I'm better than this.

We all are and we all deserve love. We deserve to be loved by someone who sees our worth.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he won't be the last guy who breaks your heart, but I hope he's the last one who cheats on you.
It hurts badly because you trusted him.

However, trust is something you need in a relationship. In a way, it's also not fair to not trust another partner or make them go through hoops and loops to gain your trust because you were hurt.
Just saying that that's a price someone else shouldn't have to pay either, if they never cheated on anyone.

Anyway, keep your head high. You didn't do anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

Beautifully written and was in no way self pity which made it all the more powerful.
I read a lot of people that want to get back with exs if they have cheated or not and I think we see so many relationships people forget to be happy. Being your first this is double as harsh but you've come out stronger evidently, I hope people see this that need it because a lot of people get hung up with exs and they shouldn't, especially the ones that cheat, we are all better than that and no one deserves to be cheated on.

[FluffyBee]

Thank you it's really nice to hear this and I hope I could help someone with sharing my story 😊

[Browneye57]

"We all are and we all deserve love. We deserve to be loved by someone who sees our worth."

So this is where you've gone wrong. No one DESERVES anything - you get what you EARN. You get what you get. And you ARE NOT better than this. These feelings of entitlement are holding you back, creating unrealistic expectations. YOU are the one that made the choices so start accepting that YOU have a huge part in how your life turns out.

And you've missed a great part of the lesson here to be learned - and that is that women are extremely competitive. You were the victim of 'mate poaching' or 'preselection'. If a woman sees a guy already hitched to someone else they unconciously think he must be a catch and that naturally she would be better for him, and she 'deserves' to see if she can get him. So that's why your 'friend' bedded your boyfriend. Cruel truth this.

Secondly, you in all your fantasy couldn't see that your guy was a bad pick, that he wasn't an upstanding guy, that he would lie and cheat in other ways. And you were sooooo hoping that YOU would be the one for him that you overlooked all of those flaws. And instead of realizing what a prick he was you blamed yourself - another fallacy.

So no, you got what you got because of your naivete. Sure, it's not your fault, but you have culpability - EVERYBODY does. You can't blame all of your life problems and challenges on others.

Girls/women are very adept at having a backup plan, and so now hopefully you'll have yours. And don't be so gob-struck with some guy thinking he's the ONE until he has EARNED that right.

No, date. A lot. Just don't have sex with them all. This way you'll actually be able to discern whether they're really worth it, whether they're a match, whether they are worthy of your time attention and emotion.

No get out there and make it happen for yourself. Always remember, YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

[serious]

I have always been single but I do understand what you have said and yes you are right, everyone deserves love, everyone deserves to be loved in the way they want to be, there is nothing wrong with this expectation. However another point is it is also true that not everyone gets love in their life, not everyone is lucky.

I just hope you are fine.

[Unit1]

What a terrible experience. And it was on the international women's day! Yikes.
You really deserve someone better.
But at least you know now, that you have gotten rid of a filthy cheater. And a backstabbing "friend".
I admire how you handle and see the post breakup stage. I don't see that happening so often.

Strength and honor to you, lady!

[Greatcat]

I am so sorry to hear this... I'm actually crying. I've had a similar situation but not to the same degree of brutality... not nearly. Just know that you will be the most glorious partner to someone someday having gone through this and realized what really matters in such a harsh way, and be so careful and so strict of who you give your heart to next time... you gotta keep it safe from now on

[Warmapplecrumble]

How did you keep your cool and not explode?

That's a horrible experience. I am truly sorry for that experience. :-/

[FluffyBee]

Honestly I was way to shocked to explode and later I just felt so bad about myself that I was still not able to explode and than I got my shit together and just let it be

[Warmapplecrumble]

It must be such a horrible experience. I can't even imagine.

Did you ever get a chance to mourn and grief over what you lost?

[FluffyBee]

Yes it took me nearly a year to get over this

[Warmapplecrumble]

I can't imagine the pain. :/

*hugs* I am glad you wrote this. It just comes to show you should realise one day everything goes and to keep on living.

[Alpha89s]

Fuck him. and good for you girl... keep your head high !

[Alpha89s]

And fuck that bitch too. lol

[FluffyBee]

Lol yes thank you 😄

[Krumpir]

I am both sorry and glad for your experience. For same reason as you stated: it hurt you, badly - but it taught you your worth. I genuinely hope none of the next ones cheated on you.

It is one of my biggest fears, being cheated on (eventually when I will have gf). It would smack me harder than a tank. I hope I will never have to go trough.

I wish you all luck and best. Have a nice day! :)

[BJones4597]

He sucks! I had a similar situation and I'm trying to get over it. We all deserve someone who will love, respect, and adore us. That's who you'll want to marry someday. He broke my heart for the first time, he was my first. It'll hurt for a while.

[FluffyBee]

I hope you will be fine soon 😊

[BJones4597]

I'm not. I'm still not.

[BrittBratt2416]

I hope it was worth it in the end for him, but he just lost out on someone amazing. You will find better and do better, just give it some time and the right man will come a long.

[bubble_tea]

I'm really happy for you. Not everyone comes out stronger after a big hit. Chapeau!

[Stamps]

"I wish that I hadn't opened that door…"

Why? Thanks to that you at least know the truth. Can you imagine if he actually had gotten away with it?

[Unit1]

This ^
I would always prefer truths no matter how terrible it sounds but truths never deceive.