It's been a long time since my ex left me. And recalling all fun dates I had with her, I can't help but blame myself for not fighting for her. At first, I wondered how it feels rewarding to win a girl's heart and be their boyfriend, to the point that I kneeled in-front of her in public just to show that I'm serious. I didn't give up until I finally got the prize and so I was the happiest guy for having such a beautiful woman.
I remembered our first date in KFC when it was all simple yet fun. Then on our next date, we spent the night at a Mexican pub and grab drinks, she loved it! I became enlightened on how she was enjoying my company. That was also the time, I gave her a remembrance card that said "I love you forever!" and she felt joyful. Fast forward to our last date, we went to Chinatown to stroll around but something strange was now going on with her. The whole time, she was quiet and was always on her phone even when I talk to her. So after that, I dropped her off her house and she ignored my goodnight kiss.
It wasn't so long before I found out that things were becoming weird. She stopped replying to my texts, my calls went to voicemail and she left me on read despite being active on social media. After a few attempts on trying to talk to her why she's not responding, I began overthinking. Maybe she's busy or it was something I did. So I gave her space for 2 weeks to see what happens. I became busy within that time and I finally asked her again. She agreed to go out with me to grab Samgyupsal since she's available only to find out she would never come. Prior to knowing that, I waited for her and was asking her where she is. 1 hour has already passed but she still wasn't there, and since the grill was about to close, I decided to eat without her. I became upset that time and seeing her text that she fell asleep, I was starting to doubt this relationship. I told myself, "How did she forget about our date?". So I told her in a nice way that she kept me waiting for her, but again she seen-zoned me. Out of respect but with frustration, I just left it there for her to even bother sending a message.
1 week later, I decided to give text her again, but felt betrayed when she forgot my number by replying "Who's this." and even forgot who was texting her. I wasn't swayed by emotions yet so I just reminded her that it was his boyfriend who texted her. I'm glad she now remembered and told me she wants to go to my house to talk. I was happy when she finally initiated a date with me and it was on my house, so I made her dinner. As soon as she arrived, I felt happy again and tried to welcome her in my house. I accompanied her through the table and as I was about to bring the dishes to the table, she immediately blunted out the words "I'm breaking up with you."
I didn't know what to say that time and I thought she was playing. But then, she returned my remembrance card and said "The truth is, I never really loved you, and I found someone better than you. Sorry but I have to go where my head is telling me to go. And that person is not you." then she left. As she was returning to her Porsche car, I chased her only to find out who drove her was her new guy. He revealed that we've been dating for 3 months without me knowing. So I tried to convince her that all of this wasn't true but the guy didn't hesitate to beat me up until my mom tried to stop him.
After the breakup, I wasn't able to eat for a whole day and grieved at least 2 months for the loss. I still had her photos with me and while staring at them my fingers were shaking and tears began flowing down my face as I reminisce the times we had and how much I miss her. I never really thought a decent woman would be able to do this. So I decided to go out of the country for a while and tried to make new connections for my memories to be replaced. And as much as possible, I began doing self-evaluation for me to reflect who I really was going after.
It took me a year for me to realize, that I deserved better. That I didn't need to blame myself for loving her because I did my part in the relationship. And hey, at least she was once part of my life! And I can be thankful for that. And what I also learned is, in the real world things don't last forever. There comes a time where they will be gone but it can always be replaced with another. So I took these as a valuable lesson that I'm thankful for. Even though they say men take longer to move on, I realized that it was all a stereotype. Because I was open to how I felt, I was relieved of this heartbreak!
To the woman who cheated on me.
I wouldn't say I learned anything from you because I know I won't be like you, but I'm thankful for what you did. Because of that, I realized you're the wrong person to be with. Don't tell me you love me if you're sitting on another guy's car. I'm glad I was able to love myself again after having experienced your actions. I'm more than happy that you guys are together now!
So, anyone who read this, I hope you learned something from my experiences and never forget to love yourself!