I loved him with my whole he left me

[Graci_e]

I loved (love?) him with my whole heart. He was my most favourite thing, he was my safe place and he made me feel so good about myself. I know we’re young, but I wanted to marry him and I wanted to make it work. I wanted to be with him forever. I wanted to support his basketball and all his dreams. I would have done anything for him.

I put so much effort into him. I listened and learned everything he wanted and needed, and I gave that to him. I understood when he had no time for me (basketball and school) cause I saw what it could be and I wanted him no matter what. I gave him his space and let him do his thing. I bought him Christmas presents, expensive birthday presents, I always showed up with little gifts for him and gave him lollies and spent weeks making his valentines gift. I thought the world of him and I was so proud of him. I thought he was the most wonderful thing in the whole world and I adored him. I gave him so much love and I tried to be nothing but perfect to him, I tried so hard to do everything right. He was all I wanted and the only guy I saw.

He was the first guy to treat me nicely and be kind and loving to me (even though he wasn’t 100% perfect, he still did dumb boy things and had his own issues). He made me feel beautiful and wanted and safe and I trusted him with my whole heart.

But he broke up with me a week and a half ago. I couldn’t eat or sleep for days, I could barely move and I didn’t talk to anyone. I was just depressed. I didn’t know what was going on (he still hasn’t given me much closure) and I was so confused and so heartbroken. I just wanted him back so bad. And I overdosed on medication and ended up in the hospital.

It still hurts so bad. I can kind of see now that he wasn't as great as I thought he was, but I still love him. It still hurts when I see him and he ignores me. He won’t even talk to my brother now and they were best friends. I don’t know what’s going on with him.

I kind of hope he changes his mind. But right now he thinks he everything he wants. He has a basketball scholarship and is making all sorts of teams, so he thinks he doesn’t need me I guess. He doesn’t think he has enough time for me and apparently that’s not fair on me (I don’t get how, I was happy).

He broke up with me over text and he said I was nothing but perfect and it wasn’t my fault. I wrote a really beautiful message back to him but he didn’t respond. I wish he could have at least given me that, I wish he could have been more mature about it and kinder cause it would make it easier.

I just read a thing about how it feels to fall in love with someone and I can’t stop crying now cause that’s exactly how I felt for him. I miss him and I love him and I wish he hadn’t done this.

[Sunssong]

Reminds me of my brother expect he is good to his girl. He is in college playing football trying to make it to the NFL. I was really good at basketball but I wish I had someone like you. It's too bad. You'll get over him in about 3-6 months but it will always haunt you until someone else comes along. I know how you feel. It's like you're drowning every second of the day but there is no water. Sleep is the only good thing. I figured out a way around it though. But until I did it was so painful. Most painful thing in life.

good luck to you and whatever you do, don't let this change program you. Many people become defensive in life. You can hear it in the comments of people on GAG. You can give a kind comment and they will say things expressing their anger in a passive aggressive way. It's not even that they are angry at you, it's just their habitual attitude. They conditioned themselves to be this way without consciously realizing it. Women start to hate men and not believe in love etc etc. Don't let this change you because there is another guy out there because I can tell you I loved to have a girl like you. And if I exist then someone your age like me exist and will continue too. Use this bad thing to figure out what were the warning signs. The signs are usually hidden in habitual character traits.

I had a friend she was in love with me and it was the first time I realized that no girl before her will loved me even though they said they did. Because this girl was crazy about me. You were crazy about him. Go find a guy who is crazy about you but be crazy about him too.

[Graci_e]

Aw that’s exactly what I needed to hear, thank you.

It’s getting easier but I had a few tears today cause I missed him again. If he really cared, he wouldn’t of left me the way he did and i deserve someone who wouldn’t do that to me. I deserve someone who’ll actually appreciate all the love and effort I put into him, and not just toss me aside like I’m nothing.

Looking at his hidden habitual traits would be a good way to help me get over him I reckon. He did genuinely treat me really well and he made me feel safe and loved and I trusted him, and I get caught up in that sometimes. But he had some traits about him which were really undesirable and concerning - mainly with how he treated other people, and he would have slowly started treating me the same. And I guess he kinda did cause he dumped me for no good reason haha. So I have to remember that.

I’m raising my standards now and I’m not settling for any less. I’m gonna get my guy that’s actually crazy about me next time haha

[SnowedIn]

This is beautifully written. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this with us.

I am so very sorry for what you're going through.

It sucks. I know that.

I won't give you all sorts of pep talks about how it will get better and other love and blah blah blah. You're a smart young woman and you already know all this.

What I will tell you is that this happening is NOT a reflection of you, or how valuable you are, or any measure of you. This is on him. I'm not maligning him or impugning him but just asking that you keep perspective that what you're going through isn't your fault or any failure on your part.

Again, genuinely sorry you're going through this and wish you the best during it. It's a long road and a hurtful one.

Truly, all the best.

[Graci_e]

Thank you for your reply. I know there will be someone even better than him. He’s okay now but he had some red flags that point to him getting worse as he gets older, plus he’s very immature and his emotional intelligence and relationship skills aren’t very good. I feel like I’m more in touch with that department and I tried to teach him, but I feel like I’m better off with someone more on that level. He used to get embarrassed about me being at his basketball and that was really hurtful for me, to the point I saw another guy being sweet with his girlfriend at a game and I had a few tears haha. So there’s definitely better out there so I just have to be patient and wait. I’m sure there’s plenty of guys that would love to be treated how I treated him.

He’s definitely had a hard life though and has a lot of personal issues. And he’s busy as hell, and I don’t think many 14yr old boys would be able to deal with having a girlfriend and lot going on in their lives. So I don’t blame him and I’m not mad at him, it just hurts cause I really did think we’d always be together and I thought everything was wonderful. He started getting distant with me but I just assumed it was cause he started school and had way too much basketball on so I tried to give him space. But I guess he decided it was too much and his mum said he felt bad he wasn’t available for me. But I guess if he really cared, he would be able to put in more effort even if it’s a simple phone call to say goodnight. I asked for that and he said no.

It hurts but it’s definitely getting easier. My brother plays basketball with him so I still have to see him and it’s a little bit sad. But I’m hoping as more time goes on we can at least be friends cause I think we’d make pretty good friends.

[SnowedIn]

You've got maturity and thoughtfulness here beyond your years.

And I think you have an awesome outlook on things.

This still sucks, but you're thinking about it the right way.

[heartshape33]

I TRULY and TRULY understand you and feel you. You might think that you are the only person going true such a devastating, hearthbreaking, killing situation. You think that no love or nobody can replace that guy. You firstly should understand that you are not alone.

My ex boyfriend had decided to break up with me after our 3.5 years old relationship. I had embraced him as a part of my soul, my family. I had never trusted even my father as i trusted him. I had found my inner child, my broken soul, my dreamful life in him. I thought that i would never love someone like i loved him, or nobody would love me like he loved me. I seriously lost a lot of weight in 2 weeks. I cried, couldn't eat, i couldn't even walk. I wanted to marry him, i was sure that we were goingt to marry and be truly happy

But time passed slowly and I began to take steps to gain my self-love and self-respect. I read many books, gained awareness, talked to myself a lot. I was kind to myself and embraced my innerself. We deserved to be loved, we deserve someone who is worrying about to lose us, who cares about our every detail. Didn't he want you? His loss.

Now, it's been a long time and I'm in a new relationship. I still wonder how I can love a person so deeply and intensely again. One can always love. Every relationship is unique and different. I love my current boyfriend with all my heart and I'm so happy to get the love I deserve.

Yes, you gonna love someone again, you are going to be loved by someone will love you better than he did! They will! Trust me.

[Graci_e]

Aww thank you for that. That’s great that you found someone and you’re happy! I know I’ll find someone else who will actually appreciate me and not take me for granted. If he cared, he wouldn’t of broken up with me like that.

Unfortunately he’s gotten pretty good at his sport and he now thinks he’s better than everyone else and is acting like a complete dickhead. All the boys were saying that no one in the state likes him. I guess he thinks he’s too good for me now, but once his ego gets knocked down, I have a feeling he’ll regret it. He’d be lucky if someone treated him the way I did again.

[Graci_e]

I saw him today and it makes me miss him and it really hurts

[heartshape33]

He is above everyone bc he is good at sport? LMAO He's just a loser

[heartshape33]

It'll pass there are hundreds men better than him.

[Graci_e]

He literally thinks he’s so good and is a cock to people now because he’s gotten good at basketball. It’s funny cause he has no friends and now nobody likes him and my brother and I gave him a chance and cared about him and now he’s fucked us off haha

[strateguy632]

i understand u

[Natdabrat]

Omg girl I am going through the exact thing right now it’s so heartwarming that I’m not the only one going through the exact thing at the exact time but mine was a little more different mine was cheating on me who know what your man was doing it could been cheating but not lilkely my brother told me that his basket ball

coach hated his girlfriend because he noticed we she was at the games she would mess him up and not play as well so his coach actually asked hi

t o either tell his girlfriend not to come to games or just break up

with her cuz she was toxic I thought that was rude as heck because how in the heck would the coach be a judge of his personal affairs who the hell does he think he is. Anyway they broke up and he played better but it wasn’t cuz of her it was a coincidence the nerve of that coach

[OfMiceandMen]

You made a tear come to my eye reading this. I remember that feeling, when I was 17. I fell in love with a fellow lifeguard at the beach I was working with during the summer period. We decided to break-up because she was heading to university out of province. It crushed me. I was sad for weeks.

It does feel like there is a hole left in your heart, but it gets better over time, the saying time heals all wounds, is somewhat true. I still think about her now and then, as I am sure you will think of him even years from now.

All I can say is surround yourself with good friends and they will help you get through it, just as someday they will likely need you for the same reason.

Take care and be well.

[JamesHarrys]

Oof, the memories.

It hurts a lot more because you idolized him, that's oxytocin, the love hormone playing its part. Love is addicting. The fireworks in our brain are insane and raw, especially at that age. The pain will eventually go away, some memories won't. But you will be okay.

Focus on healing for now, self-esteem (not ego) is priceless and will be your most valuable ally.

You're still you. Not less, but more.

Take care.

[Graci_e]

Thank you :)

It’s getting better but it still hurts a bit. I dream of him some nights and I always wake up a little bit sad. I always dream of things going back the way they used to be and him changing his mind. I think I miss hanging out with him and my brother, and how fun it was and what we used to have.

I definitely idolised him, probably a lot more than he deserved. He brought another girl to his and my brothers game last week… I was so mad. She’s a downgrade and someone said that it’s because he couldn’t handle me. He always said he wanted an older, confident girl who made the first moves and stuff. But someone said I must have scared him so he had to downgrade haha. So that made me feel a bit better.

I’m gonna focus on myself for now. And I’m gonna be so careful with the next guy I pick, not that I want a boyfriend for a while anyway. I think it would be better to date someone my age, or a little older and I know I can do better than my ex. So everything will work itself out. It’s just a bit of a wound that’s still got some healing to do, but it’s getting there.

[Explorer91]

That sucks.
This is a normal feeling. My first boyfriend I fell in love with at 18 dumped me. I felt what you are saying. I thought it was the worse thing in the world. Then I got another boyfriend and fell in love again. And then I got another boyfriend after that. And the cycle goes on. I know it feels sucky right now. But i promise you it won't forever. Your pain will end a lot sooner than you think. Even if you genuinely cannot imagine how you cannot feel this way. I promise you i know this feeling and it will stop.

[Anonymous]

Let me say something NOBODY is worth trying to take your life over. NOBODY.

I would suggest getting counseling for your depressive moods because to be extremely blunt you had an extreme response and that isn't healthy. It is also very concerning.

Yes breaking up hurts but it doesn't kill.

Whereas you tried to kill yourself for what reason... because he wasn't there? Did you think of the serious harm you would cause to your friends & family doing that.

Another reason why I suggest counselling is your behavior indicates obsessive behavior and that usually assoicated with depression, bipolarism, etc. Unmedicated it can be dangerous to yourself or others - as shown with you taking pills.

[Graci_e]

Yes I’m already on to that with the hospital. They aren’t concerned with me being depressed or bipolar. It was an impulse due to my low emotional pain tolerance and I highly regretted it. The psychologist said that my perception of life and death isn’t as developed as an adults. I didn’t fully comprehend what I was doing to myself.

I tried to kill myself cause I was in severe emotional pain. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t drink, I could barely speak, I completely withdrew, I felt severely depressed and anxious, I felt sick in the stomach 24/7 and I had chest pains 24/7 and I didn’t stop crying for 3 days straight. Then he messaged me and was an arsehole to me and it tipped me over the edge.

They weren’t concerned I’d try do it again, they just recommend I attend therapy.

[Opinion Owner]

Liar, liar pants on fire.
"They aren’t concerned with me being depressed or bipolar. " Yes doctors & hospitals would be. I know because I work in medical, liar liar pants on fire.

They'd hold you for 72 hours for an evaluation and if need be afterwards committ you. So they obviously think you're faking it.

[lightbulb27]

Sad to hear, it really hurts.

He isn't as mature or committed as you, he isn't ready to make space. I get that, college takes a lot of time. Maybe he's really not ready for intimacy and commitment.

Takes time to heal, you'll get to a better day.

[strateguy632]

yes your love was very strong. the famous saying is if you love someone then you want the other to be happy including if their happiness is by going to someone else. so you can invert your "rejected" feeling for rediricting " i want him to be happy" that is how to continue love. also for yourself find someone else so u won't be lonely. every pot has a lid.

[lilly15345]

my ex ghost me for 3 months about go 4 months and me and my ex use too talk all the time on video chat and he's in collge and also he ghost me 3 months about go on 4 months and hedidnt even told me he in another relationship he left me heartbroken i know how it feels

[itsalyssaagain]

You’re so young. Don’t worry. You’ll meet someone else very soon. Enjoy your life.

[DermalPunch]

Yeah. It happens. He met someone else. You just have to move on.

[laly520]

it isn't meant to be

learn from it n move on

u will find ur right one in right time

[Anonymous]

Get over yourself, some people dont have anyone and use drugs. Some people have health issues and dont have anyone.


Always think negative , so you are never disappointed.

[Debbie14217]

wow sad... sorry

[Joker_]

@Degenerate had a similar thing happen to him

[Degenerate]

Lolㅤ

[Joker_]

lol‎‎

[Joker_]

I need to start playing basketball

[Degenerate]

Lol I'm already a point god

[Degenerate]

I wonder if this is the Gracie from Australia

[Joker_]

Gracie from Australia was goated fr fr

[Graci_e]

I’m so confused, who’s Gracie from Australia?

[Degenerate]

I'm assuming you're not Gracie from Australia lol

[Degenerate]

There was another G@G user around your age who was also named Gracie, but she's from Australia

[Graci_e]

@Degenerate It could have been me cause I’ve far more than one account but I wouldn’t remember haha

[Degenerate]

You're the one who loves horses

[Graci_e]

@Degenerate Yeah I am. I dunno which account it is though cause I’ve had like 4 since I was 11

[Degenerate]

Give me his address so I can jab step hesi into the crossover and send this nigga flying

[Joker_]

waitin on Gracie's return

[Degenerate]

I still miss @Volvagia

[Joker_]

yeah lol she truly was the goat of gag

[Jamie05rhs]

Aww. I'm sorry. 😥

[Anonymous]

it happens