Why do guys talk shit about their exes?

Was with my ex for 2 years. We had a really intense relationship and had a pretty amazing emotional/intellectual connection. When we went long distance he ended it as he met someone else. We had a very messy breakup and did not stay friends though he had wanted to I couldn't do it. Fast forward a few years later and my guy friend who he is also close with, tells me that he said some shitty things about me here and there but that he's no longer with the girl that he left me for and that they dated less than a year. He said he hadn't dated anyone else after that. Anyway I don't get why he would be saying things about me still and it was years ago? Also he wasn't that type of guy, he was pretty quiet and a bit nerdy, it really bothered me when my friend told me this as I have gotten past all that crap and was considering reaching out. Why would he be doing that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • For all the ladies out there I'll will give a glimpse to a handbook that all men get once they turn 21. Man Law #3 "You can Never be friends with an ex." The only exception to this rule is if you haven't talked to your ex in a minimum of 10 years and she is still single and without a child.

    There are of course a lot of studies and research that proves the above Law to in fact be a Law (so please no feminist trolling). This is a quick and dirty list but by no means is just limited to 10. livingthecollegelife.com/.../

    Now to answer your question, yes guys talk shit about their exes, But GALS also talk shit about their exes and in fact if you compiled who talks more shit about each other, women or men? Women would win by a large margin.

    Why do men talk shit about their exes?

    *That is how they get over the relationship. They vocalize all the flaws of the girl (mostly with their trusted best friend over copious amounts of alcohol) and justify that list as the reason why the relationship broke up/why it didn't/wont work out.

    *A MAJORITY of men will only talk about their exe's for a short time (6 month's max) and then never breach the subject. A small Minority of men will still hash over the same girl year after year after year--yes we ALL have that friend. In this small instance, the man/woman is obviously not over that girl and she had a lasting impact on him. If this be the case, it is not healthy and refuse to discuss their exes when you hang out with them. This emasculate trait does not need to be encouraged.

    • this guy doesn't know shit lol. talk to a few of my exs, one with a kid. we hang out and play league every once in a while. but all guys do talk shit. mostly because they are with a new chick and have to downplay you while making them seem great. i wouldn't worry about it.

    • Coming from the guy who's user name promotes infidelity and by extension humiliates all men and women, you sir don't "know your shit lol". If you look at what I stated I clearly said MAN law, you sir are not a Man, but a sorry excuse for the male gender; a boy..nay a manboob. So clearly it doesn't apply to you.

      Carry on going "fortakenwomen"

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What Guys Said 4

  • I tried not to, when she broke up with me I tried to end it on good terms and be friends with her (I didn't even cheat on her or anything, there's no reason we couldn't have been friends).

    However, I then learned that she was actively talking possibly cheating on me at least two weeks before the break-up. Then in less than a week after the break-up, she was already in a relationship with him. She then proceeded to be immature about it and whore out their relationship the next couple of days, posting pictures of him and his "I luv u" messages, changing her bio to praise him to high hell, etc. I never got any of that treatment.

    So after blocking and unfollowing her entire social sphere, I've (unsuccessfully) been trying to permanently erase her from my memory. Sadly this is one of those regrets that will keep me up at night for a lonnng time. Now, I'm not going around talking shit about her or any of that because I'd rather not have anything to do with her at this point, but her chubby self (funny story, she went from slightly overweight to on the brink of obesity after the break-up according to a friend who has classes with her) won't be getting a good review if anyone ever asks me about her.

    • What happens when it's the other way around though? Like he broke up with me and met someone else? What's the point of him talking trash when I didn't cheat or anything? I mean I said some things when we broke up but I apologized.

    • I don't know. I'm pretty sure she talked hella shit about me to her friends even before the break-up.

  • Why do woman talk even worse about their ex's? both sex's are guilty of it. Not everyone does it. I still love my ex wife very much. we shared a quarter of a century together and have 3 great children. but I will talk about how bad she treated me at times...it is just natural...

  • I don't. I erase them from my life and I move on. I have never talked about an ex to anyone and I never will. I'm too busy focusing on the present, building for the future to keep looking over my shoulder.

  • The irony is strong with this one...


What Girls Said 1

  • He is probably trying to reassure himself there was a reason that he broke up with you because he isn't actually sure why he did now.

    Plus if he is still talking about you after all this time, sounds a bit like you had more of an effect on him than you think.

    Me and my ex were the same. When I was with him, he continually spoke to all his exes, including one that cheated on him, which always bemused me. We were together a year and like you had a very strong emotional connection. He said nobody he had ever loved him like I had and that he wanted us to stay friends because he couldn't bare to lose me from his life. Well guess what he completely cut me off and 3 weeks after went out with someone else. Someone told me later he said some horrible things about me and I asked why and my friend said he thought he still had some feelings there for me. My friend told me he still speaks to all of his exes except me.

    The only thing I can think is that he actually regretted us breaking up and can't bare to speak to me, so had to forget me.

    I think that has happened to you and the nasty things he is saying is just to reassure himself. I reckon he regrets leaving you for the other girl. They didn't last very long did they.

    But anyway the past is the past and we can't change it. Find someone new and fresh. :)