Why is my ex boyrfiend keeping my stuff now?

Would appreciate an opinion on this.

So my ex bf dumped me in a very mean way (via Messenger) and the first thing he wrote was that he wanted to bring my stuff back ASAP. I deleted FB and changed my number right after that...

Then he started sending my mom when he could drop off my stuff. When he came to get some of his stuff (I stayed in my room) he was asking about WHEN to drop my stuff again.

That was right after the break up and 3 days after...

10 days later he tries to contact, I ignore.

Yesterday he sent a huuuge emotinonally text to my mom how he is hurt and blabla... But he never brings up my stuff anymore that he wanted to so URGENTLY get rid of.

I'm not breaking NC and he can keep them... But why this sudden change from URGENT to not even bringing them up anymore?
Not really because at this point I'm not even sure if he wants to still be with me... It scares me to get rejected all over again.


Most Helpful Guy

  • NC is so stupid in this case as you clearly miss this guy and want to talk to him. Stop being stubborn and contact him or you are only harming your own self. Simply call him and ask him why he said whatever he said the way he said it, and then ask what he wants to do with the "stuff" thus putting him on the spot. In doing this you will both show you still care and also give a sneaky ultimatum of sorts that he needs to shit or get off the pot if he plans to make his move.

    NC only matters if both parties are over it and since you clearly aren't over him and, if what you say is true, he isn't over you either so you both are acting stupidly and should just talk like mature adults.

    • I am not acting stupidly, he just hurt me and I come out a miscarriage, I do NC also to heal myself, I love him, but it's hard...

    • Show All
    • I maybe would if he would be positive, but all he does is basically keep blaming me for the break up while that's complete BS, you don't break up for crap like that... I've been through worse with exes and you need to take time to work it out and talk about it, he never even wanted to give me a second chance, he acts like I cheated or something.

      So it's not because he takes initiative to contact to complain some more to my mom that he wants to get back together, the only positive that he said is that he had loved me very much and was thinking about me and also that I used to be the woman of his dreams.

      But you give the woman of your dreams a second chance and don't just break up for BS reasons from 10 months ago.

    • Hmmm, there is a way to handle this without putting yourself out there. Have you considered writing a heart felt, HONEST, and direct letter to him about your concerns, reasoning, how his actions hurt you, how his actions continue to hurt you, what you need from him, what he isn't doing for you, and by stating that you desire he respects your choice to have time to yourself to weigh his response and that his response will go a long way to your decision.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think that your question isn't what you're asking, but rather, you're asking how to make the pain go away? You make it go away when you stop giving more thought to the joe blow.

    • No, my question really is why couldn't he stop bringing my stuff up and now isn't talking about them anymore :)

    • Do you want your stuff back, or it doesn't matter? I take the latter, I think, but if I'm right, then why not forget about him. I mean, clearly you care a great deal to have taken the time to post this.

  • I think he felt insulted when u didn't meet him when he came and now he will not give u things back. U should call him at your place and slap him on his face. And after that take your things back. And he would never try to dump any girl in that mean way


    • Nah, he asked to bring the stuff back even after he got some of his crap, insulted? I should be insulted, who dumps a person via Messenger? he's freaking 45 yo :D

    • Call him , take your things back and insult him and take the hell out of him, make him feel the same what u felt during breakup. And what did he messaged in the messenger

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