my boyfriend was arrested for domestic violence, I dropped the charges and it took him a month and a half to finally contact me after that, despite many attempts to contact him. I assumed the relationship was over because a relationship is based on communication and there was absolutely none of that for a month and a half, even after I dropped the charges. he owed me an apology and a thank you.
I didn't want to move on, call me crazy or an idiot or any other name you can because I know it's foolish of me but I am madly in love with him and I can forgive him for what he did... I wanted to be with him and get back together. but after weeks of not hearing from him, I felt like I had no choice but to try to move on.
one night after the bar, I was drunk and went home with a friend of mine and we had sex. it was a foolish drunken one night stand- it meant nothing to me. I cried afterwards because I was so ashamed at what I had done. I love my ex boyfriend and I could never, ever have imagined myself with anyone else, but I was in a dark lonely place and extremely vulnerable- it just happened.
finally, my ex boyfriend calls me and says he's ready to talk. so we meet up in a coffee shop to talk and he tells me he's thought about things and wants to get back together. I was ecstatic because like I said I love him and he's my best friend. but then he asked me if I had been with anyone sexually and I couldn't lie to him (even though it's none of his business and he had NO RIGHT to ask me).. but I told him the truth. it didn't go so well...
he said I was tainted and that he could never EVER be with me again and I ruined any chance we ever had of us being together again.
to me, that is just not fair. why is he being so extreme about this? he blocked my phone number, facebook, twitter, instagram, everything. he's even blocked my friends. he said he as to forget I ever existed.
if I can forgive what he did to me, why can't he forgive me?
Most Helpful Guy
I know this might be an older post but you have two things if not more that hurt your relationship with this guy first the domestic violence , any man boy or male that hits on a woman will not stop at doing it just once , i have seen this happen to many times to know they do not change ever , two you filed charges against him but then dropped them , not a good thing to do dropping the charges because he will only do it again maybe not right away but he will always resent that you filed them in the first place three while he was locked up or what ever you got drunk and slept with someone else being drunk is no excuse and it does not make it right you did what you did because deep down you really wanted to no ifs and or butts fact is even if you was sober you probably would have slept with the other friend
Now on a lighter side you was honest and told him OK 1 point for you but did you ask him the same question that he asked you? hell he might have slept with someone as well the time you was apart and now you will never know if he did or not he was probably relieved to find out you did and then put all the blame on you best advice I can give you is find a man that will treat you like a lady one that does not beat women and be totally 100% honest with him and he with you and forget the jealousy BS it kills more relations then anything else
no woman ever need be with a boy who hits her even if she loves him get out while you can or some day he will bury you and everyone at your funurl will say we told her so2
- Show AllShow Less
Most Helpful Girl
The Mere thoughts of Anyone putting a finger on you has him "Flipping out,' but being Because of What 'Mess in the first place' that he had started, you were Actually between a rock and a hard place when you----Went in between the sheets for a One nite stand, not really knowing if you and your boyfriend at that time were even an Item. And of course, getting pie eyed, Because of Him, didn't help any.
Now he is having this hissy fit now and is seeing Red, Not seeing things your way. It's alright for the gander, but not for the goose? Look who is calling the kettle black?
Give it some time, let him absorb this, and I believe that in time, he will be crawling back to you with his tail between his legs. Give him some space, some room to breath, and when he is ready to talk about This, Get Ready to talk to him on Your end about-----Domestic Violence. It's important for open lines of communication and if you both want to stay in this relationship. It has to stop somewhere down the line.
I can't promise you that if you both go back together tomorrow that it won't happen again with him and his problem. It could become a pattern, it sounds as though he most likely needs help for it, and the way I see it, your 'One nite stand' can't even Compare to his Many More times in the future that he could pull It again.
I'm wondering even now: Did you ever get That apology and thanks?
Good luck. xx1
- Show AllShow Less