My ex said we grew apart?

We were over two hours away from each other and he said we haven't really talked in awhile. That is true. However this was not my fault. I was messaging him and he was not communicating. I'm 27. I live at home with my parents. I'm looking for an Elementary teaching job but there doesn't seem to be many out there. That's why I have to live with them. I've been applying for everything that comes open. I asked if there was anything I could do. He said I need to work on some things first. He said "I need a job and my own apartment." I agree with that. I do. I don't think I should be living with my parents. Jobs in my field are hard to find though. He said "you need to take a break from me. Get that stuff worked out and then contact me again and we can take it from there. Why would he say that when he was the one not communicating with me? Do I really still have a chance with him if I leave him alone for now? Help! I still love him!
I started seeing him in the summer of 2013. He works at a church. I told my parents about him in September last year and they got upset. They judged him. I'm Baptist and he is Salvationist... a branch of Methodist. They told me to break up with him
Both of us were deeply upset. We kept coming back to each other. He kept saying he wanted me to fight for him. In May of this year I finally stood up to them for us. He told me he was going to be busy working for the summer so he didn't know when we


Most Helpful Guy

  • probably yeah there is a chance. i think you have something going on in your mind saying things like "he broke up with me because he found another woman or he doesn't love me anymore". Let me tell you its not like that. if he's honest then he would say something like "i think the spark that was between us has gone" and things like that. of course dont forget the scenario that something like that might happened. i dont think thats true but if it is then he broke up with you that way just because you dont feel more pain. although if he wanted to leave you like forever he wouldn't say something about the future between you. so dont worry. get settled with your things and then talk to him. he maybe just needs his own time. good luck i'll pray for ya

    • Oops I didn't mean to vote that way. I do think he is right that I need a job and my own apartment. My parents have been driving me nuts. Haha. I have wanted a job for so long and haven't had much success. I found a daycare job. It is teaching 3 year olds (I would love to teach prek). It is a small setting...9 little boys. They wear scrubs to work in. My last job I was an instructional aide at a public school. This job pays a little more than that $10.50 an hour. After 90 days it would raise to $11 and from there I don't know how much it would raise... but it could go up a little more was what they said. I don't care how hard I have to work. I want to do this for me but being with him would make me so happy too. I could have this job and be in my own classroom before Halloween. Now when it comes to saving I have $2000 in my account. How much do you think I should have saved up before I get an apartment? Apartments around where I live start at $500.

    • if the appartment price starts at $500 then you should save around $2000-3000 just in case the appartment goes up in price. you should also see what furnitures you want to buy. so that you can estimate the total price. and add it with the appartment. i think you should look for a comfort cheap appartment.. see the inside and make thoughts on how you want to decorate the place. then you can search for furnitures

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What Guys Said 1

  • "My ex said we grew apart?" And you did grow apart, which he manipulated by intentionally ceasing to regularly communicate with you. He was uncomfortable with and unsure of the trajectory he assumed you were on and, well... well, he preplanned the break. He seemingly wants a partner who has equal or similar success to his own.

    How long were two together? How long have you been in your current predicament?

    • A year and four months we were together. I graduated May 2011. I looked and didn't find a job until August 2012. I was teaching 3rd grade and yes I had an apartment then. I know it will cost a lot but I don't remember exactly how much everything costs. I didn't stay there long. I do better with younger kids. Then I left in the middle of October. Again it took awhile looking for a job. I was subbing at a public school and in February of this year I was hired as an aide. I was there until May. I left because I want to be teaching in my own classroom. He had been busy at work and hadn't had time to come see me. I guess I should have went to visit him when he asked me to. I didn't want to bother him when he was at work but I guess I did unknowingly. I had told him if I was bothering him he should tell me and he said nothing. So actually that part is his fault. I wouldn't have gotten mad at him and I didn't. I was just sad and a little disappointed.

    • ** Update continued** could be together. In July he said I should come visit him and volunteer and bring my parents. I knew they would not want to go with me. I knew they wouldn't want me going alone. I thought if they met before I went to him they would be more at ease. Maybe he needs time to miss me. Since he kept coming back before. Maybe he will come back on his own eventually. I don't know.

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