Being ignored? or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Okay so this guy I've been seeing on and off for awhile finally told me how much he really cared and I reciprocated. That was a week ago and he literally has been ignoring me since. He even admits it and at one point apologized and said I had a right to be mad, but now he's back to ignoring me. I told him I was done if he keeps ignoring me and nothing. Was he just lying to be a jerk? or did i do something wrong? I really care for this guy and he isn't talking to me and i have no idea what i did wrong.

[Anonymous]

Maybe this guy likes you a lot but having such strong feelings makes him feel out of control. By ignoring you he is getting control back. If you keep calling him out on ignoring you, it may push him away. He has opened up and said he really likes you, he has admited he is wrong for ignoring you. It is up to him if he ignores you or not but I don't think it's becuase you have done anything wrong. I think he is just scared of strong emotions. Leave him to it. Don't contact him, don't ask him why he is not contacting you. It is hard, but let him realise if he wants to keep this going he has to make an effort to. Leave him to come to you. He has told you his feelings and you recipricated the same, so he probably now feels an immense pressure to live up to what he said, at the same time questioning if this is really what he wants. I am pretty sure, when he needs his own space for a bit, getting upset over why he isn't talking to you will make him wonder if everytime he wants his own time you will get upset and does he want a future like this. Now days of ignoring you just isn't on. But a little while is ok. Just try not to take it personally and let him come to you.

Sometimes I mesage my bf and he just doesn't reply. Talk to other people but not me, never for long. He may even say sorry for the late reply / excuses which are lies! Sometimes he just needs space to be him. It really does get to me, in my eyes it doesn't take even a minute to reply! BUT I don't say anything about it, I leave him be. I am quite sure how he feels about me and us. He does a lot to show me how much he loves me. Every now and again he comes accross like he is losing interest. He has admited before that 'us' scares him. He is not only affraid of being hurt he is also affraid of losing control. So in those times, as hard as it is. I leave him be and wait for him to want to talk. I figure if I try to contact him over and over with no reply. he will think he has to make no effort to contact me.

[Anonymous]

Leave him alone. if he's doing it on purpose and you told him what you would do if he didn't stop. And he's still doing it to you sounds like he doesn't really Care i don't think anyone who cares for you wouldn't keep ignoring you

[Anonymous]

I'm going through the same issue but I just think he has some one else and I'm just boring to him. Just try to ignore him back it's kinda hard it might work it might not.

[Neurath]

Men take their feelings for a woman and venture out into the world. It comes from the hunter gather days. We do not need to stay in touch as much as women, we only do it to keep her happy.

When you say he is ignoring you what exactly do you mean? Is he not responding to messages/phone calls or simply not initiating?

The best men have busy lives that don't revolve around women all the time. We love who we love and we find time to liaise with her but if she doesn't meet us halfway then the time is put to better use.

There is also the issue of emotional imbalance... when you say he said he cared and you said you cared what were the exact words? If you came across much stronger than he did he could be lying low to decide if he wants to go deeper or not.

[Asker]

he isn't texting me at all. And he specifically told me "I feel like you are what I've been searching for. It's like you're my missing piece, and nobody else matters but you." and I said "Aw thats so sweet I feel the same." and literally the next day he stopped talking. Then a few days later he apologized and admitted to ignoring me and is doing it all over again.

[Neurath]

Beware of the ego.

In females a bruised ego will make them play up and seek validation. Especially when they have been caste aside.

The male ego is bruised when he first tells a woman he loves her or divulges his feeling. Socially it is still considered weak for a man to do that. That is why only the truly strong are happy to say those words and listen to a woman in emotional turmoil in this day and age.

It can be difficult for a man to maintain the relationship that brought about deeper feelings. We hibernate and try to figure out how it has happened and is she truly right for us. We also fear losing our freedom and that is why a lot of times we will 'ignore' the woman we want.

However, if it persists longer than 2 weeks there is a larger issue here. Probe lightly and stop highlighting the negative aspects during this period. Everything may still turn out well. Do not start a negativity train and drive him away. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

ok i have experienced this with a girl. you may say i am an asshole but it was how i felt.

after the girl start to text me i felt less attracted to her. i kept on talking and seeing her but it was the way i felt

what you need to do now is act like noting happened. and dont text him. wait for him to text you. if he didn't mean any of the stuff he said to you before then he doesn't like you. but if he likes you he will reach out to you

[Shadow55151]

He is anxious and nervous about you not responding well to him in the future.

[Asker]

Well i am obviously not going to respond well to him not talking to me either…just saying.

[Shadow55151]

He's not talking to you because he's worried about you not responding well.