OK, you did slap him first, he may have just reacted in a defensive manner. I'm not saying he wasn't wrong, clearly both of you were wrong.
Did you do any Pre-marital counseling before you were married? My fiancé and I did pre-marital counseling which was a requirement of the pastor we wanted to marry us, we thought we would just go along with it and get it over. We came away from it with some pretty useful conflict resolution tools that we have already used in our relationship, normally we don't argue or fight every couple has their moments.
You and your husband probably would benefit from either some sort of formal or counseling with a minister, from what I understand many churches do this as a part of their ministry services and rarely charge other than if you choose to donate something. (That was what we did. Hopefully I don't come across as having the answers, I know I don't. I just know we have been helped as a couple with what we've learned.)
I think she was more wrong. Especially her thinking she can get away with hitting others and not getting anything back.
I know people are saying you slapped him first he has the right to slap you back blabla, I don't think that's true.
Okay, you shouldn't have slapped him, I don't think anyone should slap anyone in any relationship. But it's unfortunately true that men are physically stronger than women, which makes him slapping you back kind of unfair.
And also "you slapped me first" is a bit childish as a reason to slap you back. He should have turned away and left or something.
But in any case, I think that men who are capable of laying hands of their wife even once and get away with it have a high chance of doing it again.
Don't slap him again, but if this repeats itself, RUN.
"And also "you slapped me first" is a bit childish as a reason to slap you back. He should have turned away and left or something." And before that she should have turned away, not hit him.
"But in any case, I think that men who are capable of laying hands of their wife even once and get away with it have a high chance of doing it again." Exact thing can be said about women who hit/abuse their husbands. And my advice would have been the next time she slaps him he should RUN instead of reacting otherwise.
As wrong as he may have been, it gets really old hearing women defend women who start violence.
oh, you're one of those.
No, she gets what she gives. If you slap someone, you technically willfully choose to initiate the conflict resolution on the physical level. As you make the first physical word, they are allowed to respond. Hence, his actions were perfectly reasonable.
Guys, I completely agree that she shouldn't have slapped him of course.
But she's a pregnant woman. She's physically a LOT weaker than him. Yes she started it, but "you started it" isn't a reason to hit a pregnant woman.
As I said, he should have turned away and left her instead of physically hitting her back. By slapping her back he doesn't just lower himself back to her level, he goes way below.
And I don't think that makes him a very good person, that's all.
Well if she is pregnant then she shouldn't pick physical fights.
I absolutely agree this happened similarly to a close friend , her and her fiance were arguing and he slapped him , well he returned the favor and almost knocked her out , few months later he was slapping her for almost every small argument and bruising her once you do something your most likely to do it again
@Babaorom1 Just because she is pregnant doesn't mean she gets a free pass to physically abuse someone. Had she not have slapped in the first place they would be no issue.
Technically you were wrong for slapping him. And if we want equality here when a man hits a woman we expect the woman to fight back. Soo when you hit him he is expected to fight back as well. All that technically. Now have you talked with him ever since? And since this is your third child and he has never abused you before (and I hope you haven't done that to him as well) I doubt it will happen again. so I think you should talk with him but if this happens again you will divorce him no matter what.
Maybe Im the only one seeing both sides. I think if a man hits a woman it's wrong and vice versa my only concern is the kids. Violence in the home no matter how slight affects everyone. And as I saw first time is alway the hardest. If it happened can again with no trigger or just arguing as hard as it is leave
I love how you threw in the "9 months pregnant" to make yourself seem like the innocent victim. You slapped him first, what did you expect? Him to challenge you to a pillow fight?
Also, a guy doesn't just get to the point of "I'm going to slap this bitch" out of nowhere. This is clearly built up tension, which leads me to believe you aren't the most pleasent woman to be around on a daily basis. Poor guy probably takes 2 hour shits just to get away from you.
Hah. You slapped him first.
You have absolutely no right to even attempt to justify your actions.
Maybe if you don't want to be slapped, don't slap other people?
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Maybe he should have posted this instead of slapping you back. Then he could asl everybody about leaving an abusive wife.
Sorry, but often there is a reflex. Sometimes it is a reflex to hit back, sometimes it is a reflex to let you know how something felt. Maybe the reflex is not right, but the trigger (you hitting first) was definitely wrong. And after you started this, you are here asking us if you should leave him? Wow, you are a work of art.
Thats reflex honey, he probably regrets it. Decent men don't hit women but the following rules still exist.
"If you don't start nothing, there won't be nothing" and
"if you can't take it, don't dish it"
You asked what to do, I say wait, if he's a decent guy, he'll come back an apologize profusely. It was a reflexive act brought on by his instinct and your aggression. Once the adrenaline wears off, he'll come back.
You both were at fault here. No, I don't believe a man should hit a woman, unless she's an actual threat. But it appears that, because you're a woman, you believe you're entitled to hit a man without an sort of consequence. Personally, I wouldn't have hit you, but I would being consulting an attorney in near future.
Take some space from each other & looking into couple's counseling.
How about you stop being abusive?
If you attack someone, be prepared to receive self-defensive force. If you don't want to receive force, then stop attacking people.
Unless you want divorce proceedings (and perhaps even a criminal investigation) where you get accused of domestic violence, I suggest you stop this nonsense right now. Do you want to lose custody of your children?
Well... You are the one who slapped in first. You might be pregnant but he doesn't give you the right to do so, he shouldn't have hit you either but you're the one who started it, you are in the wrong here.
It depends on what you were talking about before you slapped him. You got physical first, so you started it but he shouldn't have felt any need to use physical action to dominate a women. That's kind of low. You should stay and talk it out, people are not perfect.
Is this your first time slapping him?
Maybe he got tired of your shit and decided to actually slap you back this time.
Doesn't feel too good to get slapped does it?
You slapped him first so I have no sympathy for you.
You treat others the way you want to be treated. I just find it hilarious the way you wrote "why now when I'm so close to having our 3rd child" Come' on the damsel in distress doesn't suit you. You initiated this aggression what did you expect for him to be passive? No!
You slapped your husband and then you're somehow shocked when you get a slap in return?
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First of all you shouldn't have slapped him, it's not a good idea to slap someone and act like you're not going to get hit back.
Secondly you should leave for a few days or until you have the baby, stay with your family or a friend, then when the baby is born call your husband to where your staying and talk about what happened... you both NEED to apologize for hitting each other.
Or you can just leave him if you don't feel safe.
You slapped him first... On the way with his third child, he doesn't deserve physical abuse. It's good he slapped you back. Although, I don't condone violence, I bet you won't be tempted to do it again.
That's typically what happens when you slap someone first...
You'd think but plenty of people seem to think I hit you but you can't hit me back lol
@ihatethiswebsite Yeah, and it's mostly women who think that way. I mean, if I don't want to get slapped, I won't slap someone else. It's pretty much common sense. Lol
You fucking slapped him first... it's one thing to give him a shove but it's another thing to give him a clean slap.
I have no compassion for those who hit someone then freak out when they get hit back. That's how the world works. Maybe next time you should control your anger and think before you slap someone who is most likely way stronger than you are.
Take it in stride, and watch your manners for future reference. A man can only tolerate so much bullshit before he snaps. Do not deliberately push his buttons, if you were being foolish then you need to apologize to your husband.
Then again I do not know the contextual circumstances or the nature of the argument so my opinion is biased based upon previous examples of this.
Both of you are in the wrong. You slapped him, which should never occurred. No matter how bad you're arguing, you shouldn't put your hands on each other. His slap was probably a reflex, but still doesn't make it right.
You need to leave. Neither one of you should put your hands on the other. Sorry this will be difficult, but the situations will just continue to escalate. Do you usually get physical when you're fighting with him?
So you expect your husband to accept your physically aggressive behavior?
Just like @evenlift mentioned why don't you stop being abusive?
Next time don't be so ignorant to assume that someone won't slap you back after slapping him/her first.
typical "i'm a female, hear me roar VICTIM" bullshit
If you stay you only make it okay for him to do it again. Please report domestic abuse and save yourself before it gets worse
@Cattitude You know you're really stupid.
What a happy household to raise three kids in where mom thinks its okay to hit dad.
You hit him first, therefore he can hit you back. I understand it's horrible to hit a woman, a pregnant on at that, but you initiated it when you slapped him. If he hits you for no reason you should then leave.
I wouldn't have hit you if i were him, as you are carrying a child, but you shouldn't hit people, then hide behind your gender to avoid getting hit back
Why do you get to slap him and not expect any reciprocation? Now maybe he shouldn't have slapped you, but in the heat of the moment that's probably going to be the guys response. What do you expect?
I don't think he should've slapped you back but it probably was "in the heat of the moment." You shouldn't have slapped him, you made it physical.
Maybe because you slapped him first.
Have you tried counseling? Because domestic violence is never a good sing but if you're close to have your 3rd child with him and think that you might still have a chance talk to him about counseling or leave him If it happens again
But she slapped him first?
That's why I advice counseling cause domestic violence is not acceptable for guys or girls to be abused no one deserves to be slapped
Well if she doesn't want to be slapped, she shouldn't pick physical fights..
There was no reason for you to slap him. It sounds like he was merely defending himself.
>slaps husband
>confused when he fights back
I guess you should feel lucky he's not pressing charges for battery.
"I slapped him in the face first and he came back with an even harder slap."
So you remember, that you slapped him first? Lesson learned?
Call the damn cops and report for domestic abuse and sue his ass off
there is no guarantee he wouldn't do that again
Why did you slap him?
Those telling you you should stay are absolute nuts! You should take your children, and get away now!
If he hits you once, he is going to do it again, count on that.
Did you read the part about her hitting him first?
Actually I read it like he hit her twice.. I does justify it in some way. I would never hit my husband/boyfriend, but if I did and he hit me back, I would leave. Men are much bigger and stronger, and he could have held her down or something, instead of hitting her back. @Mesonfielde
Hmph. He should leave for having a physically abusive wife.
That's up to him. @Mesonfielde
Well of course. But she is the one who should get her tendencies in check.
No one should ever hit their partner, man or woman. But I continue to think it is way worse for him to it her, than vise versa. @Mesonfielde
The worst offender is the person who hits first.
Well yea, but I still think a man hitting is way worse. @Mesonfielde
... nah
... yea
@Mesonfielde
I don't like violence but you deserve it.. dont slap people
Don't take it serious, its sometime normal in a happy going family. Be possitive
Sounds like you got what you deserved. I feel bad that your kids will have a horrible mother
All i can say is it gets easier after the first time
Pack your bags and go or live with his violence
Asker. You need to take care of your baby. No more stress.
I don't think that having a physically abusive mother for a mother is such an amazing feat.
@abundantlyrich So you can accept the wife's aggressive behavior, but not the husbands?
Icarus45 - there is a life involved. Whatever happened, she is in a volatile situation. Protect the baby first.
Most of these people in this question have no concern for the life inside her and would wish death upon this life. They have no real life experience to deal this sort of thing.
Icarus - she is hormonal during her pregnancy , if you could have predicted she was going to be violent, would you strap her to a chair and bashed her up for too emotional?
But you slapped him first.
people can really be mean. smh.
You're just as bad as him
call the police, take him down...
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