Why does my ex-boyfriend keep staring at me and should I move on?

[Anonymous]

I want to say sorry in advance that this such a long story, but I think all the details are important. Okay here goes... My boyfriend of almost a year dumped me at the beginning of summer without any warning. His reason was that he wasn't going to have enough time for me anymore with his job and football. I think he was very overwhelmed and thought it would be easier for him to be single. While he was breaking up with me, he told me he loved me and how he wouldn't find anyone like me, then he hugged me and left. He had tears in his eyes and I was shocked because I had never seen him cry. Then for a month after we broke up, he wouldn't talk to me or even look at me. We see each other almost every morning at our practices, and when we walked by each other he would pretend like he didn't even see me. Recently, he has been staring at me whenever I'm around. When he's doing drills, he will look over every few seconds to make sure I'm still there and then go back to whatever he's doing. Sometimes I will catch him staring at me, we will make eye contact, and then he will continue to stare even after I look away. He honestly looks like a sad puppy or something and it makes me very uncomfortable. I've started to move on and have even been talking to this really great guy who happens to be friends with my ex. He has openly said that he would date me if they weren't friends. The problem is, I don't know if I like him for him or because I'm lonely. I miss my ex-boyfriend and his family so much and sometimes wonder if we'll ever get back together. Should I try talking to my ex-boyfriend and try to reconcile or move on and see where it goes with this new guy? I would love to hear a guy's input on this, but any advice is appreciated!

Updates

+1 y

Guys, should I confront him about this or let it go?

[charlottiee]

from your description of the way he left "with tears in his eyes " etc. it would suggest he didn't want to break up, but this "football" issue, expand please. He may of been avoiding you when he wasn't looking, talking etc. to make the break up more bearable for him. And i think he might want to get back together but i feel you need to have a conversation first, preferably when you catch him looking at you, so not to be out of the blue, but don't be direct (to the point about it, you want an honest answer not a phoney one). When did he start looking at you, was it when you began speaking to his friend?

[Asker]

Well about football, he is our school's starting quarterback so he needs to focus on that, which I guess I understand. It just hurt because I felt like he chose a football over his best friend. He started staring at me about a month ago, and I only started talking to this new guy, who happened to be my friend before this, within the past week.

[charlottiee]

I think you should give it another try with him, if that's what you want but you need to make it clear to him what you expect, so to be priority over his football etc. and that this would be his last chance. and if he can't provide that then you yourself know that you have know regrets with the relationship, that you did all you could and that it was his decision to finally end things. This should enable you to move on without any hesitation (if he says he can that is). what do you think? Is this decent advice?

[Asker]

Your'e so right. I think I need to talk to him at least before I move on. Thank you so much for all your help :)

[Anonymous]

I'm going through the exact same thing except my ex has a different sport. Lol. He used the same excuse in me. When I see him he stares at me too. So annoying. We need to move on. If they really wanted us they would move heaven and earth to do it.

[Asker]

Glad to know someone else is experiencing this. Guys are so confusing ugh. Thanks girl, hope everything works out with you!

[MJas16]

Honestly it's a pretty dumb reason to dump you.. I would move on. He. doesn't know what he wants

[Asker]

I agree. Thanks for your advice!

[MJas16]

Yeah no. problem. he clearly likes you but he's I don't know like all over the place. Good luck girl 😊

[Playing4Keeps]

it sounds like he's having trouble moving on... you're too young to wait around for someone who can't commit. Start seeing a new guy. everything will be fine.

[Asker]

Great advice. You made me feel a lot better, thank you so much!

[Anonymous]

Absolutely move on. It's time

[Anonymous]

you should move on.