He wants to stay friends with his ex

[robincc1]

Ok my boyfriend and I have been dating about six months and just recently I found out he has been talking to his ex. They were together 4 years. We talked about it and he said he loves me and If it made me feel better he would stop. I feel as though it would not be fair, because who am I to say who he can and can't talk to. Also I keep in touch with my ex's (It is not nearly as regular). They speak on almost a daily basis. He broke up with her and I know she still cares... Am I wrong to say he shouldn't talk to her? Why would he even want to keep her so involved in his new life?

[MyNameIsTaken]

I'll quote myself from an answer I gave to another question : "There is supposed to be a reason why two people didn't work out. I personally think that it is never ok to have a boyfriend who is friends with his ex and vise versa. Why? Because if they are that good of friends after the fact, then they obviously have unfinished business. I would assume that at least one of them still carries feelings over from their relationship. If you or anyone you know has ever been cheated on and heard that old tiring excuse that goes something like "Oh we're just really good friends now!". Um yeah. It's certainly not flying by with me. I think it's important to let go of the past. It's not fair to the current lover to be selfish and drag them into a situation that you just can't get over"

You have every right to tell him that you don't want him talking to her. Referring to another answer on here, NO it's not right for you to get in the way of his friends. The fact of the matter is that they aren't "friends", they were in a relationship together. BIG difference. Either they want to be with eachother or they don't. If they don't then he needs to respect your feelings and stop talking to this girl. . If he doesn't drop her, I'd drop HIM.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend does this as well. Although it has calmed down tremendously. Simply tell him how it makes you feel, but do not ask him to stop talking with his ex. It bothered me when my boyfriend talked with his ex everyday. I asked him why they talk so much. I also told him that it makes me feel uncomfortable that they talk everyday. Little by little the calls dropped off. He had to make known to his female friends that he had a woman. I made known as well. Hold conversation with him when other women are on the phone. This lets them know his attention is focused.

[luvbug]

Ummm if you are in a serious relationship with this guy then yeah should be able to tell him not to talk to her because it could cause them to rekindle old flames He may just be keeping her around just in case anything happens between the 2 of you.. I would watch out he may be playing games with both of you.. maybe see what there conversations are about that may tell you just what kind of relationship he has with her..

[loveAnsweringOldQS]

I'll quote myself from an answer I gave to another question : "There is supposed to be a reason why two people didn't work out. I personally think that it is never ok to have a boyfriend who is friends with his ex and vise versa. Why? Because if they are that good of friends after the fact, then they obviously have unfinished business. I would assume that at least one of them still carries feelings over from their relationship. If you or anyone you know has ever been cheated on and heard that old tiring excuse that goes something like "Oh we're just really good friends now!". Um yeah. It's certainly not flying by with me. I think it's important to let go of the past. It's not fair to the current lover to be selfish and drag them into a situation that you just can't get over"

You have every right to tell him that you don't want him talking to her. Referring to another answer on here, NO it's not right for you to get in the way of his friends. The fact of the matter is that they aren't "friends", they were in a relationship together. BIG difference. Either they want to be with eachother or they don't. If they don't then he needs to respect your feelings and stop talking to this girl. . If he doesn't drop her, I'd drop HIM.

[WayTooPopular]

The best girlfriends are the best friends, so when you break off a great relationship they're still a good person and you still like hanging with them. He can keep her as a friend and still love you for sure, just the same as you have guy friends that he doesn't hate you for having.

It would be 100% wrong to tell him he can't have another friend that's a girl because they used to date, he probably dated her because she was such a good friend in the first place and to get in the way of a good friendship would make him probably not want to be with you anymore.

Guys don't like girls who get in the way of their friends

[PavlovRingsABell]

I think you should tell him everything you just wrote.

As to the last question, I'd guess that he feels guilty.

[mpjr09]

I went through this same thing. If they are talking on the phone and hanging out that's not such a good thing. But don't tell him that he can't talk to or be friends with her, you don't want to control his life. Just don't let him take it too far.