Is he cheating?

[Netty24]

If my boyfriend of 6yrs won't let me leave him a hickey and has never said any thing before is he cheating?

[bitesizedonut]

Well - hickey's can be embarrassing especially if you have a social/professional date with your parents or a co-worker or something. When my husband and I were dating, and once my clinical rotation started I had a rule that he not leave any visible marks because, well, a hickey is unprofessional. The patient doesn't need to be thinking of me in that way or wondering about bruises on me. They need to be worried about their health. I consider it a courtesy really. Just ask him why he has had a change in attitude and trust his answer.

[OutOfMyElement43]

Resident or Intern?

[Netty24]

Will he never said any thing before and we been 2gether for 6 years I did ask him y now he said he does not like them but I still don't under stand y now it makes me think wrong cause he has cheated before.

[bitesizedonut]

It sounds like there are some bigger issues with your relationship than just this. It sounds like you may not have been able to rebuild the trust after his initial betrayal. If this is a common problem for you two, I would recommend couples counseling. There is no real way for you to find out if he is cheating other than catching him in the act, having him confess, running into the other woman somehow, or hiring a detective to follow him. I hate to say it, but you either have to learn to trust

[bitesizedonut]

Him again or be faced with these sort of insecurities. If you are feeling brave, sit down with him and calmly and rationally explain to him why you are a little worried with this recent hickey repulsion. Let him know that some of your trust is still broken and that it will take some time to heal and you want some more information. Did he always dislike them and just put up with them? Does he think they look tacky? Does it hurt? etc.

[bitesizedonut]

@OutOfMyElement43 - neither - it was more like a practicum I suppose.

[Netty24]

I use to make them all the time and he never said anything he says now that they look trashy and he knows that it is hard for me to trust him cause he cheated not 1 but 1 to many times I want to trust him I really do but its hard. I just want to find out if he really is or not I don't know how to find out. The truth I think he is in to some one else not yet cheating but in to her. He has been kind of been different it seems like he is trying to keep his distances. I don't know what to do to find

[bitesizedonut]

Well, like I said, you have a few options. You can trust him and hope for the best. You can leave him and give up if you think the broken trust is irreparable. You can hire a detective to follow him and try to catch him cheating. Beyond that, you are not in control of his or any one else's actions. You can only control yourself and respond to situations as they occur. As I said - I think counseling for the both of you is a good idea. At the very least you should seek counseling to work on trust

[bitesizedonut]

Issues within yourself, because regardless of if he is cheating or not or if you leave him or not, you will need to learn to trust again and heal from the damage already done (for yourself). Do this and do it soon. It may also help to have some one who is unbiased to talk to on a regular basis.

No matter what you choose, good luck.

[Anonymous]

I don't think he's cheating I think you have trust issues for what ever personal reasons, a hickey is not that important. You have to learn to like yourself and think positive, if he's cheating you WILL find out if he's not you wasted your time worrying. EAT AN ICECREAM AND FORGET IT!

[sistid]

I think if you been 2 gether for 6 years you should talk to him...It sounds like you have a lack of communication, which could ruin your relationship whether he is or isn't cheating. You could find out it is a simple explanation of maybe "getting" older and not wanting hickies anymore. I'm just saying try to talk to him to ease your "bad" feeling... goodluck

[Netty24]

I have talk to him about it he just says he don't like the way they look but her finally let me make him one but a little one but it was on the weekend that I did it so when he went to work on monday he came home with a bandaid on it I was like what they hell y do you have to cover it they don't care at work what you got on u.

[enlightenment]

what the hell are you on girl? FIrst breath, because nothing you said indicated cheating. AND hickey's are disgusting, be glad he won't wear one!

[Netty24]

I ain't on any thing drug free nothing on that indicated him cheating. But we had got in to a fight last month and he was telling me he didn't love me as much as he use to and he didn't know what he wanted.I told him to leave if he felt that way but he never left and its like that never happend he tells me he loves me and don't want to lose me. I don't under stand men?

[enlightenment]

Join the rest of us!

[Shlei3]

Not necessarily. he could just not want a hickey. No offense but they are trashy. Just being honest.

[cheekycharlie]

have you asked your boyfeind why he has let you. in the past and won't let you now.have you any reason other than your boyfreind not letting you give him an hickey to think he is cheating.

[Netty24]

Yea I have asked him he said he did not want to say any thing then. Yea he started to where colon and he never did maybe when we first met he did. And some times on fridays he won't come home after work. And just they way he has been acting like he wants to keep his distance from me.