Guys, HE CHEATED AND NOW HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS?


Guys, HE CHEATED AND NOW HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS?

We dated for almost 2 years, I met his parents and we both knew we wanted to marry each other. He met a girl who wanted to hang out and she threw herself at him, eventhough he declined he eventually gave in. He hardly knows her and is not in contact with her now. He broke down emotionally when he saw me and couldnt/didnt even want to get intimate with me and had sleepless nights. He acted on what his therapist said to tell me the truth and break up with me. Eventhough I was disappointed and heartbroken, not long after I knew i wanted to work through it with him. However, he said that apparently his therapist said that he isn't ready for a relationship. He said his happier without me, because there's less pressure to think of me. But he wants to be friends, because he wants me in his life. He occassionally texts me, says he will help me or give me anything i need. He even randomly bought me a gift. He apparently broke up with me cause he thinks I dont deserve someone like him. It sounds ridiculous that I want some back who cheated and broke up with me, because of it, but i do love him.

Can anyone explain whats truly going on in his head and what I should do? Move on? Take it slow? Or fight?


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What Guys Said 3

  • Well, you see cheating is an unforgivable act and no matter how good a guy he was, he committed that act and yes he was right to break up with you, because normally the other person breaks up with the one who cheated on them and in this case the person who cheated on you is breaking up with you and he is also right to believe that you don't deserve a guy like him in your life.

    However I can understand your feeling also, it's your choice, if you want him back then you can wait and see if he changes his mind and wants to come back to you. However I want to ask you one thing, let's assume that you both get back together, but will you ever forget the fact that he cheated on you? will you ever trust him 100% again? will it be like before?

    As far as I know trust once broken can be fixed but will never be 100% ever again, it will always be less than that? there is nothing wrong in wanting him back but have you thought about this?

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    • I Understand your argument and thank you for your response. I know that trust will never be the same after a partner cheats, but then again I feel like having your trust broken like that does make one distrust future partners. What if your future partner has cheated on someone else in the past perhaps, even though they have not cheated on you per say would that not make them as untrustworthy as the person who cheated on you before. I know I sound paranoid now, I use to be a very trusting person now i do not trust anyone. Honestly I do believe that there are habitual cheaters, but i also believe that there are people who rarely make bad decisions. I do believe people grow, mature and develop from error and that some dont also. We all do at some point make bad decisions. I am not justifying the acts of others, but I am saying by taking the high horse on controversial multifaceted topics we are ignoring they grey areas that life consists of.

    • Watch this ted talk and you'll perhaps gain a small understanding on why I am so confused. We are all prone to the darkness no matter how much light we think is inside of us. We won't know until we are there and have made an effort to overcome it or not overcome it.
      -Why happy couples cheat by Esther Perel. Its a ted talk, Sorry i can't post the link apparently i can't here cause i have a new account.

  • Move on. Once a cheater, chances are he will always be one.

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  • Did you have sex with him?

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