Ex Boyfriend Reads My Blog Every Day?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend & I were together for almost two years. We were planning to move in together, etc. when we got into (what I thought) was a minor conflict. I apologized & tried to fix what was bothering him, but he asked for some space. I agreed. He never came back. Ghosted.

I was devastated but I decided to move on. I'm a writer. I keep a fitness & lifestyle blog. I don't write about him or my personal life. Mostly parenting, career, crossfit. Well, a mutual friend let it slip that he told her he's reading it every day, sometimes three or four times. I haven't even updated it in almost a month. He also made passing references to things I've done lately, despite my going full NC, blocking his calls, FB, etc. But I did mention this on Twitter, which prompted my friend to think that he's reading that too. He doesn't even have Twitter.

Why is he doing this? He ended it. And coldly too. I feel awkward about him doing this. It feels like stalking. Thoughts?

[That-Guy]

After 2 years of being together and he ghosted you? That's pretty low and cowardly. Moving in together is a very real and exciting time and can also be scary. Rather than facing those fears... he ran away and used to conflict as a way to sabotage.
- If i were you, i'd be glad that this happened 2 years in rather than during a lease or even worse, a marriage. When push comes to shove, he doesn't face the music but instead runs away.

"Why is he doing this? He ended it. And coldly too. I feel awkward about him doing this. It feels like stalking. Thoughts?"

- there's certainly lack of closure on both sides as things ended abruptly... but your blog is for the world to see which include those that support you, enviest of you and even loose ended break up bfs.

It sounds like you've moved on but i am sure there's a part of you that wants to know, "what the heck happened?"

PS: what's your PR:

Back squat:
Dead lift:
Squat snatch:
Weakest & strongest movement:

[Asker]

BS: 135
Deadlift: 175
SS: 65
Weakest movement; all snatches. Lol
Strongest: squats!

I don't know if I've moved on. I'm not ready to date & I'm hurting very badly. I still love him. But I'm not willing to keep trying. I've also stopped blogging so there's nothing to read. I guess I still hope he will talk to me. Sad, right?

[That-Guy]

"Sad, right?"
- It's very understandable, i mean you invested a lot of time, emotions and you were going to move in together... then to the rug pulled out from under you is very devastating. I don't blame you for wanting closure and contact because ya.. "WTF happened?" Have you thought about reaching out?

Nice lifts! Upper body is really tough for women, 65lbs is good! How are your pull ups?

[Asker]

I tried a couple of times. More silence. I know he's mad, but we've been together so long, blended a family (we introduced our kids). I get reputation is important, but I only ever said complimentary things about him, because I am so in love with him. When I asked if we were over, he said no; give him time. I gave him a month. Nothing. So I gave up. But my heart is completely shattered & now I know he's watching me but won't talk & it hurts so much. So I don't update my blog as much as I used to, it's been over a month.

My pull ups are a work in progress. Just finally mastered my beat swing. I've had to take two months off from the gym because I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my hips, but I'm hoping to get back into it soon.

[That-Guy]

Okay, well the more i hear about him the less i like him. It's not fair to make someone wait this long and he sounds very wishy washy. I know that your emotions are involved but as a 3rd party, this sucks.

"he said no; give him time."
- this sounds like "hey, let me have my fling and once it's over i'll get back to you." i know that sounds terrible and harsh but it's very dismissive to just say "hey.. you hang on to hope but i'm gonna be over here for a second cool?"
"But my heart is completely shattered "
- I know this hurts but move on, who the heck "ghost" someone they care about it. A coward does.

Ah sorry to hear about your hips, i know squats are rough on them and that's pretty much CF. You can always do body weight stuff and upper body!

[Asker]

I'm working on the moving on. Even taken to writing in a book instead of on my blog. Knowing he thinks it's cool to read it every day makes me think updating it will stunt my healing. Same with Twitter. Not really big on social media so I don't miss it much lol.

[JOEMIKE]

he wants to come back but his pride is stopping him... by reading what you wrote its , in his own way keeping you in his life

[Asker]

Do you think there is any way I could encourage conversation? I'm pretty mad at him, but you don't just undo love overnight and perhaps there's a chance we could work it out somehow?

[JOEMIKE]

Yes but you blocked him so even if he wanted to he can't contact you. so looks like you would have to reach out now, just make it subtle " hi, wanted to see how you are doing? see if he engages

[SarahsSummer]

How long have you been broken up?

[Asker]

Two months. He thought I was too open about our relationship & asked me to keep it more private. Then he never came back.

[SarahsSummer]

Because you blogged about your relationship?

[Asker]

No. We worked in the same building & his staff overheard me talking to a friend about our relationship. He felt like I was too open. So I apologized, toned it down like he asked & even got a new job away from his building. Still won't talk. So I gave up.

[SarahsSummer]

Wow, it sounds like he's missing you after overreacting. I've always said the best revenge (not saying that was your goal) is to go on and live a full and happy life. You did just that and he sees what he's missing. Do you have any interest in rekindling?

[Asker]

I do. We've been together a long time & he's very good to me, albeit passive aggressive. But I tried to open up conversation for a month & got nowhere. So I'm not sure I'm willing to try to talk to him again.

[SarahsSummer]

I don't think it's your job to try anymore. It really only further justifies his childish stance. Just keep living your life and hopefully meet an amazing new guy when you're ready. he'll either grow up before or after that day comes but don't wait around for it to happen.